Tuesday, November 21, 2006

So Soriano's Career Will Die With a Bang, then A Whimper

Alfonso Soriano signs with the Cubs, for a pantload of money, and in an atmosphere that will encourage him to swing wildly when down 2 strikes....

Jim Hendry is awfully optimistic for a Cubs' fan (but not for someone on the Cub's payroll):

General manager Jim Hendry isn't worried that Soriano, who turns 31 in January, will tail off drastically by the end of the deal.

"He's lean. He's like a greyhound, this guy. He's some kind of an athlete, and that's a very, very young body for his age," Hendry said. "Who knows if somebody is going to be as productive at 38 as they are at 30 or 31. But, like I said, there's a lot of guys in this game right now swinging the bat at a very high level in their late 30s or even early 40s."

What wasn't said, but could have been--"What this organization needs, more than anything else, is another guy who will strikeout well over 100 times, and play shoddy defense.">

Congrats, Cubbies! You are well on your way to being neurotic for another 10 years. Also, there should have been some giggling when suggesting that Soriano would be productive in his late 30's. Excellent investment, Chicago. Next thing to do: Convert the Fields Museum into a Dirigible Museum--no, not in the sense that it houses old dirigibles. In the sense that you tie lots of hot air balloons to it, until it rises ten feet off the ground. Then you can charge people Balloon rides to see the treasures of Sumeria. It's a winner!

Enjoy the King of the Solo Homer, the Prince of not hitting RBI's, and the Earl of Fielding Errors that is Alfonso Soriano.


Badcock said...

I was saying "Boo-urns."

Anonymous said...

Though I think the Cubs have assembled an offense that will keep them in the playoff race, they will get bounced by any team with a major league pitching staff. The 2nd baseman we signed also had 102 K's last season. So many men left on base...

Gonna be lots a 12-10 games on the northside next season.