I Dislike Your Favorite Team

Twins back-up catcher Mike Redmond is known for being tough, and for being a pretty good hitter of the slap single to right field variety. He's an old grizzled vet who spends most of his time on the bench, backing up the best offensive catcher in recent memory. He is most definitely not known for his speed on the bases.

This weekend is the biggeset fantasy football drafting weekend EVER, so I assume I can be forgiven for focusing on The Deseret Barking Swarm, and their draft position. Sure, I'm sitting pretty with Aaron Rodgers, Michael Turner, Pierre Thomas, Ray Rice and Larry Fitzgerald. But whilst focusing on mediocre WR talent to draft, I've completely overlooked the fact that World Cup Qualifying is starting back up, and that the US will be back in action next weekend.

via Shutdown Corner, an awesome exchange on the local Cable in DC. Greg Blache, the defensive coordinator, has sussed out that a question about evaluating the play of the defensive line is actually a backdoor to criticizing the play of the defensive line, and he's had enough.

Going into the first night of the three game stand with the Texas Ranger, it might feel like the Twins have been about 4.5 games behind Detroit for an eternity, and that can get a bit disheartening. After all, Twins fans have watched their team get fat in the last 10 games, playing and winning series against Baltimore and Kansas City, going 7-3, with two of those losses coming in lopsided defeats at the hands of The Texas Rangers in Texas.

We all remember how Sir Isaac Newton used potatoes to determine the heights of various objects, right? Sure.

Do you know Jason Aaron? You should. Almost two years ago, we pimped his totally awesome comic book Scalped. Since then, Aaron talked sports with us, where his love of the Steelers came through. He also started a blog (Standard Attrition) that this blog thought was awesome. Essentially, we are very lucky when Jason takes some time to slum with us. And the best way to get him to slum with us is to ask him a ton of Pittsburgh Steeler questions.

I don't care how un-sportsblog this is. I love this song.

Please don't blame the media for what your wife is going through. You did it, you are a public figure. End of story. Also, please don't use the ghost of the Ted Kennedy to get the media to feel bad about their treatment of you.

Just like we did last year, we will be offering up a Fantasy Football League, and a NFL Pick'em challenge.

League ID#: 760508
Password: warburton

If I were one to gamble on the effectiveness of arguments, I'd be betting against this one. Mark Maske over at the Washington Post is reporting that the NFL's competition committee is looking into the new Dallas Stadium scoreboards, and the fact that they are huge, and are rigged up relatively low to the ground (only ninety feet).

Shit.

The Twins win their fifth game with a walk-off single from Delmon Young (his fourth hit of the game), and overcame some spotty pitching to beat the Baltimore Orioles 7-6.

Since he is agreeing with me, I'll not pass judgement on the opening conceit of his column--writing poems about Mauer. I will however, alert Andrew Wice, haiku expert, that there is a haiku in the opening paragraphs of the column that he may wish to read (and savage in the comments).

Thanks whatever ... As he was walking upstairs, Burress said he missed a step while walking and the gun began to slide down his pant leg. Burress said he reached to stop it from hitting the ground when he accidentally pulled the trigger through his pants.

"My finger hit, like, right on the trigger," he said. "What are the odds on that happening?"

Odds of that happening are about 1 to 1 when the safety is off and there is a round in the chamber. You fucking retard.

Here's a pretty good article about the current state of negotiations between the NFL Players Association and the NFL Owners from the NY Times. I wanted to scrawl some knee-jerk reactions to the article, but decided to perform a little research in hopes of fleshing things out for our loyal readers. Well, after some additional reading I still just have knee-jerk reactions, but they are now based on both the NY Times article and some poking around I did on the internet.

First, I elected to take a peek at the existing NFL collective bargaining agreement, which you can find at the woefully lame NFL PA website. The fucking thing is 361 pages long. As much as I'd like to write a post that is erudite and compelling, I'm not fucking reading that document on a Sunday.

I will, however, skim that document on a Sunday. Especially to read Article XI entitled "Commissioner Discipline." If new NFL PA Executive Director DeMaurice Smith is worth his salt, he'll take a swipe at Commissioner Roger Goodell's unfettered discretion to mete out player punishments.

Goodell can punish players for conduct he deems "detrimental to the integrity of, or public confidence in, the game of professional football." So, pretty much anything he, as representative of the owners, doesn't like. The player or NFL PA may then appeal the punishment to...um, well...Goodell or someone Goodell designates. Goodell then issues a written final decision that is binding on everyone, period (including the teams themselves).

In a great demonstration of the distrust and insidiousness involved in player discipline, there is specific language preventing the Commissioner from increasing the penalty on appeal. Without being too much of a drama queen, that looks to me like some pretty despotic power vested in a dude who seriously influences the flow of a lot of dollars.

What's more, Goodell hasn't given us a much of an indication as to what standards he employs in punishing players. There is a reasonably interesting question presented by the different punishments of Plaxico Burress, Donte Stallworth and Michael Vick. The answer for those three gentlemen rests on differences in controlling laws for the respective crimes, but with player discipline the only control is Goodell.

Eventually Goodell will hurt himself because he hands out punishments without explanation. He'll misread public perception when concocting a future punishment, and will not be able to quell backlash by citing to a clear record. However, mitigating employee discipline is a core function for any union, and Executive Director Smith would serve his union by making this a collective bargaining issue and not waiting to benefit from a future Goodell misstep.

Second, I tracked down this press release from, by it's own description, about a year ago (why can't they just list the date it was released?). The release is from the NFL owners, and provides their initial public justification for opting out of a collective bargaining agreement that would have expired in 2012. Instead, the owner's would like to negotiate an agreement that expires in 2011, because, they claim, the economic realities of the game do not support current player salaries.

Financial records for NFL teams are virtually inaccessible, save for some limited information that leaks out after Owner requests for taxpayer-subsidized building projects and from the league's only "publicly-owned" team the Green Bay Packers (if there is more financial information, it is woefully inaccessible and under reported). The best demonstration of the "Owner Who Cried Wolf" I can come up with after some lazy and incomplete research is from that same Packer team.

The Packers recently renovated Lambeau Field for $295 Million in 2003. After five tumultuous years of post-construction financial uncertainty (sarcasm added), the Packers profited $20.1 Million dollars in 2008 despite spending eighty percent of "new revenue" on player costs since 2006 (from the NY Times article).

Any business with recent multi-million dollar renovations plus significant diversions to employee salaries plus $20 million in profits is a model business, and not one that should be considering hard bargaining to the point of a potential lockout.

If "new revenue" and "old revenue" still keep the franchise afloat, competitive and profitable, then suggestions of hardship based on player salaries should not be entertained by fans who spend significant dollars to attend games or support professional football as avid viewers (i.e. sponsor supporters).

The third point is a less important personal opinion: that professional sports' stand as an unfortunate proxy for understanding actual labor-management relations to most working class folks. Most media outlets make it easy to dislike organized labor in any form, and that dislike is easier to understand if economies of scale are out of touch with common economic realities. As a result, organized labor suffers from affiliation with professional sports. Here is how the current situation will provide fuel.

Evidence of the pending lockout from the NY Times is that Labor awaits a proposal, but management responds that they've conveyed proposals informally on numerous occasions. Proposals, by their nature, will be more effective if the proposee understands that an actual proposal has been proposed. In other words, the NFL Owners are delaying negotiations but pretending to have offered informal ideas that the other side should have understood as serious proposals to amend a meticulously crafted 361-page collective bargaining agreement (a little more sarcasm added).

NFL Owners will likely benefit by shortening the existing agreement and taking negotiations to the edge of a work stoppage. NFL Players will likely be demonized as the greedy actors who would destroy a commonly loved product for personal gain.

And that's the part that sucks: nuance will be lost because you'll lose access to your beloved NFL due to labor issues. Most folds will be too fucking pissed too care. A demonstration of union power will ultimately cost hours of Sunday afternoon entertainment, with no lip service paid to the actual need for an employee-based push back.

You'll probably end up antiquing on Sunday afternoons. It will be the fault of the union.

Kyle Orton was already getting booed during training camp. After throwing 3 interceptions in his first preseason game, the hackles were raised a bit more. And well, after this showing (and yes, 12 seconds of pre-season game, we are rightfully claiming fair use here) Denver fans saw some good things--Orton was efficient completing "18-of-26 passes for 182 yards with a touchdown."

Thanks to ESPN's Chris Mortenson, I've learned that Torry Holt's fingers are fucked up.

Dick Bremer and Creepy Massage Enthusiast Ron Coomer were wrapping up the Twins vs Kansas City, which featured a rare Joe Nathan blown save, and a rare Joe Nathan win.

I mean, really. Holy Shit. They are both incredibly impressive, world-record, field-dominating finishes for Usain Bolt. The 9.58 in the 100 meter was simply sick, and prompted Michael Johnson, (a guy who knows about domination in sprints) to suggest that that Bolt could be unbeatable. (And that Bolt could break the 19 second barrier in the 200)

John Scalzi is an award-winning "genre" writer--in that he writes science fiction that neatly deconstructs military culture. He's also a hilarious, intelligent, profane blogger (which appeals to me). While a lot of people find his Being Poor post his most "important" post, I happen to love his trip to the Creationist Museum. Stormtrooper Uniforms
They stand out like a sore thumb in every environment but snow, the helmets restrict view ("I can't see a thing in this helmet!" -- Luke Skywalker), and the armor is penetrable by single shots from blasters. Add it all up and you have to wonder why stormtroopers don't just walk around naked, save for blinders and flip-flops.

It all started with New York Times blogger Tyler Kepner, who tweeted that Mark Teixeira was obviously the American League’s most valuable player.

This drew rapid responses from ESPN's Rob Neyer and all-around writin' bad ass Joe Posnanski. They both make good points, but I like the way Posnanski puts it best:

Here in Packer-land we've been instructed to fall into one of two camps with respect to Mr. Favre electing to play on the other side of the Mississippi River.

One band is fully outraged over the Betrayal. (I'm capitalizing Betrayal in hopes of landing this event in NFL folklore alongside the Drive and the Catch). This disgruntled group understands that Favre is likely just trying to slap Ted Thompson, but can't forgive the attendant slap to the Green Bay faithful. You will be able to identify this group at Lambeau Field on November 1st by their vehement booing of the player wearing number four in purple.

The other group understands and agrees with the Betrayal. (I'll accept nominations for a more perfect betrayal. I can't imagine a better example of a golden boy savior taking up arms with a genuinely hated rival.). These glass-half-full do gooders assume Brett should keep plying his trade in his old age if he is capable. They are able to enjoy watching Brett play no matter the color of his stripes. You will be able to identify this group at Lambeau Field on November 1st by their smug applause for the guy who will still retire a Packer.

Since there is a common assumption that Favre's presence in Minnesota will be a boon to the Purple, there is no service paid to the idea that Favre in Minnesota is an unequivocal boon to Green and Gold. The best part of Disliking Your Favorite Team, after all, is enjoying the spectacle when your favorite team causes you particular pain. Good old fashioned schadenfreude makes this whole scenario a guaranteed success for all Packer fans.

My perspective, the This is Fucking Awesome! perspective, offers a third tent.

The super-scientific IDYFT Interactive Poll asks if glory, ignominy or indifference will be the legacy of Favre's tenure in Minnesota. Packer fans: realize any of the three results would be fucking awesome. Here's why.

Initially, there is little more gratifying than seeing a hated rival with unusually high expectations have their hopes dashed. Think Gary Anderson in the 1998 NFC Championship game.

Okay, now assume the first result: glory. With a great offensive line, running back and pass rush already in place, the addition of Favre has suddenly made the Vikings a reasonably sexy pick for Super Bowl glory. The turning of internet tubes towards the North Star has been a story in and of itself, and the expecatations of Viking fans are undoubtedly buoyed by the increased attention.

The presence of Favre, however, will present a poison pill if ultimate glory is achieved. Homerism for the Purple and enjoyment of Brett Favre as a football player could not have existed in the same person prior to August 18, 2009. He was as profound a baffle in Minnesota as he was a hero in Wisconsin.

Knowing that the Vikings needed help from "he who has caused great pain over sixteen years" to win their first Super Bowl would be fucking awesome for Packer fans.

The other side of the coin, ignominy, provides joy for obvious reasons. Watching our over-the-hill cast off leave a deep scar that requires a lengthy heal is fucking awesome for reasons that need not be enumerated.

However, when I throw my dart at the reasonable expectation dartboard, I hit "NFC Championship" for Vikings fans. Favre is a profound upgrade at the Viking's weakest position, but he is also a gunslinger who usually loses games through too much gunslinging. If Brad Childress doesn't run the offense with a good amount of discipline, the worst of Favre will occasionally shine through and create a pretty flashy offense with some serious self destructive tendencies.

The likely result, an indifferent eleven win season plus one in the playoffs, will probably not be enough to declare the Favre experiment a success. It will be a fun season for Minnesota fans, but will leave them wondering what is the answer at quarterback?

Ultimately, it will smell a lot in Minnesota like it did in Kansas City after the brief Joe Montana era. Montana's two playoff appearances and one AFC Championship game will outshine Favre's eventual record as a Viking. The Vikings will waste two good years of Adrian Peterson and Jared Allen without developing a good young talent at quarterback or bringing home any hardware.

If that happens, and Minnesota continues to spin its non-Super Bowl having wheels, it too will be pretty fucking awesome.

With everyone else on the planet weighing in on Brett Favre joining the Vikings, it seemed appropriate to ask the IDYFT family what they thought. After all, we are the most clever, good-looking, prescient and delightful of sports fans. I promise I will not release the results of this informal poll to the Department of Homefield Security.

Please reveal your hyperbolic prediction in the comments section. Then I can make a graph or pie chart or Bill Cosby sweater out of the results.

POLL QUESTION
Brett Favre has reneged his retirement for the third time. Now he is joining the Vikings. From the Vikings' point of view ...

1. This will take the Vikings deep into the playoffs, probably to the Superbowl.
2. This will destroy the Vikings this year, get Childress fired and slam shut the team's window of opportunity for the next ten years.
3. This will neither help them make the playoffs nor hinder them next year.

The very idea of McNabb being respected! That's funny!

Big League Stew reports that Joe Maddon has dyed his hair, in order to motivate his team. Sure that's what Maddon says, but we say, "No dice". He's clearly trying to distance himself from his time-traveling avatar from Public Radio, Ira Glass, as we proved without a doubt some time ago.

The Twins won tonight against the Rangers. It was somewhat noteworthy that they did it without Justin Morneau (who was the second player on the Twins roster to be sidelined by an Inner Ear Infection. If I were a conspiracy theorist, which I am, I'd blame Used Coffin Salesman Bud Selig for it--I can only presume he's found a way to sneak Waltzing Mice DNA into the Twins players whilst they sleep. He hasn't gotten to Joe Mauer because Mauer doesn't sleep--he just goes to his room and practices his swing all night long). The Twins also lost slugger Jason Kubel in the first inning with a foul ball off his surgically repaired knee.

Dave Zirin on what is next for AI, and what his image/struggle/comments/ability have meant to the NBA. As a Georgetown fan, I was fully embracing the fearless Iverson and his "controversies" well before he took a shitty Philly squad to the finals.

Oh, OK--go ahead. "While no one is seen performing sexual acts, the three are seen nude in the video." That should drive some traffic.

Brett...... Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Favre Favre
Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Favre Favre
Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Favre Favre
Brett Retired???? Yes-no! Brett Favre!!!
Brett Favrey Favrey Favrey Favrey NFC Champ I-N-T
Brett Favrey Favrey Favrey Favrey kid out there when he's winning

Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Favre Favre
Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Favre Favre
Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Favre Favre
Brett's a Viking take that GBP!

Oooh, baby, this thing is happening! It's happening!