"Four Wisconsin women are accused in a plot that left a married man tied up after they allegedly found out he was romantically involved with three of them."
Hey, that's interesting and all, and would be kind of strange for another state. But this is Wisconsin, home of dead deer fuckers and the like. Where's that Wisconsin edge? You actually have to read down a few paragraphs to get into what makes it special:
"Authorities say [48-year-old Therese A.] Ziemann punched the man in the face and glued his penis to his stomach."
C'mon AP! Glued Penis screams Wisconsin. You don't leave that for the fourth paragraph. You know better than that.
Apparently these lovely ladies have seen the movie Resevoir Dogs ... 'how'd you feel if every time you wanted to take a piss, you had to do a handstand.'
Any guy that would fuck a woman over the age of 30 from Wisconsin over has got to be so screwed up in the head that a dead dear would look good! Have you seen them chicks? And whats all this "romantically" involved shit? The closest thing to romance in Wisconsin is NOT farting while she is giving you head, that is if you are brave enough to let her put your willy in her mouth, not a whole lot comes out once it goes in, they pretty much eat anythin.
It's not exactly what you wanted, but the updated headline is getting closer:
Wis. women accused of using glue in lovers' quadrangle plot
Yes! That's much more like it. Also, more sordid details. Blindfolds! Light bondage! Awesome
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