I Dislike Your Favorite Team

While we wait to see who suffers catastrophic injury during training camp (already lost for the season: Eagles MLB Bradley, Bengals TE Kelly and Panthers DT Kemoeatu thirty minutes into his first practice), it's an appropriate time to turn the powerful apparatus of Professor Badcock's Pre-Viewer upon an assessment of the upcoming season.

Merely relying on winning percentage seems incomplete so playoff wins etc are a bonus, wide-ranging problems are a penalty. Quality is now color-coded, for your convenience.


The balanced AFC East only sent their divisional champ to the playoffs, who lost. They had an easy schedule in 2008. This division will play against the AFC South and the NFC South.
2008 Win Percentage: .594
Bonus: #2 Offense
2009 Schedule Difficulty: Very Difficult
Strength of Division: Middling

The top-heavy AFC North sent two teams to the playoffs; they won a total of five playoff games including the Superbowl. They had the most difficult schedule of 2008. This division will play against the AFC West and the NFC North.
2008 Win Percentage: .484
Bonus: #2 Defense, Represented AFC in Conference Championship, won Superbowl but the division is starkly unbalanced.
2009 Schedule Difficulty: Easiest
Strength of Division: Strong

The balanced AFC South sent two teams to the playoffs but they both lost. They had a middling schedule in 2008. This division will play against the AFC East and the NFC West.
2008 Win Percentage: .594
Bonus: zilch
2009 Schedule Difficulty: Middling
Strength of Division: Strong

The Fudgefest AFC West only sent their division winner, who won one game. They had a middling schedule in 2008. This division will play against the AFC North and the NFC East.
2008 Win Percentage: .359
Bonus: I hope that's fudge ... three new head coaches, #2 worst offense, #2 worst defense
2009 Schedule Difficulty: Difficult
Strength of Division: softer than baby fudge


The balanced NFC East sent two teams to the playoffs, winning two games. They had a middling schedule in 2008. This division will play against the AFC West and the NFC South.
2008 Win Percentage: .594
Bonus: #1 Defense
2009 Schedule Difficulty: Middling
Strength of Division: Very Strong

The dreadful NFC North sent one team to the playoffs but it was merely a formality. They had a middling schedule in 2008 but only won 13 of 40 outside their dreadful division). They will play against the AFC North and the NFC West.
2008 Win Percentage: .390
Bonus: I won't have to watch much of this division, hooray!
2009 Schedule Difficulty: Easy
Strength of Division: Dreadful

The balanced NFC South sent two teams to the playoffs, winning no games. They had an easy schedule in 2008. They will play against the AFC East and the NFC East.
2008 Win Percentage: .625
Bonus: #1 Offense
2009 Schedule Difficulty: Difficult
Strength of Division: Strong

The bottom-heavy NFC West sent one team to the playoffs, winning three games. They had a difficult schedule in 2008. They will play against the AFC South and the NFC North.
2008 Win Percentage: .344
Bonus: Worst Offense, Worst Defense
2009 Schedule Difficulty: Easy
Strength of Division: free ticket for Cardinals