I Dislike Your Favorite Team

You expect some crime from people. Therefore, you expect some crime from former professional athletes.

By now, you've probably heard that Purdue's Robbie Hummel is done for the year with a torn ACL.

It's doubly sad for one KC Royals fan: not only is he a Royals fan, but he's hoping to get rich from taking a wiener in the eye.

Sometime in the 2009 season, the Royals mascot (a lion? why? and he's named "Slugerrr" [sic]) chucked a free hot dog into the crowd. Some Royals fan took it right in the face, and is now claiming a detached retina & cataracts in a $25,000 lawsuit.

Two thoughts:
1. It's a baseball game, boner. Pay attention! It could have been a line drive (and you can't sue for that).

2. But it was a free hot dog. At MLB parks, that's an $18 value. I'd catch a free hot dog in my mouth like a trick dolphin.

Now then, taking a wiener in the eye for money ... there's a name for that kind of industry.

I can't be the first to think that Ladainian Tomlinson is going to the Eagles.

When I read that Tomlinson was released and wanted to go to a team with a chance for a championship (i.e. any team that is not coached by Nerf Turner), I ran through all the possibilities in my head: which championship-caliber teams are short one dynamic, part-time running back?

I considered the Eagles, but assumed that Westbrook was returning. However, Westbrook's contract was terminated today*. Who is going to pair with McCoy in the pass-happy (which includes the RBs) Eagles offense?

I can't be the first one to call it: LT goes to the Eagles, which sucks for me.
* thanks again for breaking him, London Fletcher!

When a team goes 4-12, the bad dust clings to everybody. People shake the dust off in a variety of ways. After the 2009 Washington campaign, the owner beat the dusty rugs of his front office until he replaced the GM and entire coaching staff. There hasn't been too much bickering between teammates, aside from some in-season anguish between vocal RB Clinton Portis and FB Sellers.

Portis finished the year on IR. Although he's a Snyder and fan favorite, there is no question that injuries have been mounting in recent years, cutting his production off at the knees. His backup was also on IR, which forced Washington to bring in a series of backs off the street to run behind the slumdog line (also largely signed off the street).

In early February, Portis did a radio interview from Brazil. With no lack of self-regard, Portis had some harsh words for eternally-embattled QB Jason Campbell, taking special aim at Campbell's demonstrated lack of bellyfire:

"No disrespect to Jason but everybody in that locker room can tell you, you'll never see Jason mad, you'll never see Jason's tempo change, you'll never see Jason get mad ... But as a leader, you never heard -- it was always, 'Jason couldn't take control of the huddle,' or he didn't do this or he didn't do that."

Perhaps if he hadn't started with "no disrespect" it wouldn't have sounded so disrespectful. It could have come across as another teammate explaining that the QB isn't a rah-rah guy, but tries to lead by his example on the field.

But it provoked some bellyfire in Campbell. In fact, Campbell goes on the attack, and dusts off Portis with a vehemence that I've never heard from Campbell nor heard directed at the quixotic Portis [emphasis is mine]:

"How is he going to say I'm not a leader? I mean, that's just not true. To me, that's somebody who shows that they don't know what a real leader is ... There's a reason guys get selected as captains, and there's a reason guys don't get selected as captains. Obviously, he doesn't have the respect of the locker room to be a captain. For someone to try to take a shot at me at the end of the season, after they haven't even been around, only speaks about their character anyways."

"Not one time have I come out and made any excuses about anything with my situation. I never do anything to try to hurt my teammates. Some people need to stop being 'me' guys and start being 'we' guys. And another thing, and I want you to write this, too, how does he even know what's going on with our team?"

"How's he question anything when for those four or five weeks before he was on IR , he never even came around. He wasn't with us. He was never at practice. Who does he think was holding the offense together? He should go ask the coaches and the players if he wants to know. But he wasn't around to do that. He doesn't know anything about leadership."

"You've got guys out there working their butts off, guys out there practicing and doing everything they need to do to prepare for Sundays, and you see him over there getting special treatment. What does that say about him? I go out, I get beat down on Sundays, and I still have to go out and practice and get ready for games. And that's what your supposed to do."

Now on the one hand, I'm glad that Campbell rose up to crush Portis, who many feel receives special treatment as an owner's favorite. On the other hand, it's February and we have a brand new organization. Although both of these players are under contract, neither is assured of a place with the team next year. This dust-up could clear the air for a productive backfield next year, or it could light a fuse of season-long disgruntlement.

How Coach Shanahan handles the poison in the locker room, as well as CB Westbrook's DUI (the first Washington player arrested since before Gibbs returned), may offer an early window into his administrative style. Shanahan drafted Portis. But he also traded him.

I have a feeling there might be some more dusting before the season begins. Something to keep an eye on, since Olympic luge isn't very entertaining on the radio.

It's a day late, but better to have an Old School Thursday on a Friday than no Old School at all.

Through the haze of distance, I'm willing to bet all my chips that Jason Campbell returns as the starting quarterback of the Washington football team. This would have been rightfully assigned long odds earlier, but special circumstances seem to be accumulating which make this a fait accompli.

Campbell had his best season statistically in 2009, but finished in the middle of the QB pack and his team went 4-12. He has never looked comfortable in Snyder's spinning schemes, he has never delivered a meaningful game-winning performance and he has never given up. His status before the 2009 season was very tenuous before the team granted him a lukewarm vote of confidence.

Scheduled to become an unrestricted free agent in 2010, it seemed certain that Campbell would leave Washington where he neither flourished nor was appreciated. Many Sportsjacks have predicted that Washington would draft a QB with the number 4 pick.

And yet, those special circumstances ...

1. If no Collective Bargaining Agreement is achieved in the next couple weeks, Campbell (along with 212 other players) will lose his unrestricted status and become a restricted free agent. This will severely limit the movement of free agents this offseason. The draft becomes that much more important this year.

2. New coach Mike Shanahan is no spazz for free agents, and would instantly put his stamp on this team by not giving Campbell the boot. Shanahan is also no spazz for first round QBs, and seems capable of picking for true need: offensive line.

3. Trading for a QB, or losing our few remaining draft picks by plucking a restricted free agent, seems unlikely given Shanahan's character. There simply isn't a more proven talent available. And we're still paying draft picks for that old fucking Dancing Queen, I shit you not.

4. General consensus seems unanimous: "Campbell was set up to fail by an administration that neglected the offensive line for the better part of a decade." Shorn of Vinny Cerrato, Snyder will have trouble continuing to ignore the obvious. With a strong-minded head coach in charge, Snyder's role in football decisions will shrink, praise jebus.

Criticism of Campbell falls into two camps: lack of pocket presence and "he dont threw no deep ballls" [sic]. That he has been battered behind slumdog lines throughout his career is obvious: he has been sacked an average of over twice per game.

His pocket awareness has never been great, and one wonders if this is a skill that can be taught. However, cutting down on the number of sacks (and countless late hits) he receives will help to reduce his mortal terror, not to mention bad footwork.

As for the charge that he didn't throw the deep ball ... I'll let Campbell respond, as he did to Chief Idiot Peter King: "I don't know how anyone can say something like that. Don't you think I wanted to throw the ball downfield? By the time I looked up, I was getting hit."

Although Campbell lacks some innate intangibles (pocket presence, bellyfire), he's been the best Washington QB since Mark Rypien and no better option will be available in 2010. I am convinced that Shanahan is a smart coach and will give Campbell (who has only begun two seasons as the starter) another chance ... hopefully behind a better offensive line.

The Timberwolves traded hard-working, scabby elbowed, bald-pated, talent deficient, artifically aged Brian Cardinal to get the right to gape at the wasted talent of Darko Milicic.

During the Marquette/Pitt tilt, Len Elmore was asked by Dave Pasch about how many Big East teams he thought would get into the March Tournament.

I think I've demonstrated by Georgetown fandom bona fides in the past. I'm trying to put that love to the side, and say tonight's tilt against Syracuse was one of the most entertaining games of the year. The Hoyas came up short, losing by 4, but reducing a deficit that at one point in the second half was 23 points.

Professor Badcock's heavy-water experiments flooded the three floors housing the IDYFT Pick'em Computator. This slowed down the final tally. Additionally, there is now a suffocating odor of mildew throughout Badcock Industries, Inc.

Trivia Question Round-Up
Crunching these numbers was actually somewhat entertaining. It was like watching the season's expectations flash past ... as if swimming in a school of silver-sheen, stupid fish. Yes, there is much to be proud of.

TQ1. The team picked by our contestants for the most "Shoe-ins" was your Superbowl Champion New Orleans Saints. Over the 17 week regular season, they wore the Big Shoe 24 times. Gratification should be our watch-word: 22 teams were fitted for shoes by our contestants, a damn fine spread. The Saints were followed by a Ravens/Packers tie, then a Colts/Cincy tie. No one got this question right.



TQ2. The team selected the most times for the Clash of the Titans was the Philadelphia Eagles. Twenty teams appeared in the Clash of the Titans, a damn fine spread, but the Eagles were in a premier matchup four times. In those clashes, the Pedophilia She-gals went 3-1. Big BM & Jess got this right.

TQ3. The team which most often appeared on the Underdog List was, (surprise!) the Detroit Lions. They were considered a severe fudgfest in 12 of 16 games. Final record? 2-14.

The Detroit Leotards were followed by the Raiders and then Tampa Bay. Eighteen teams made this ignominious list, a damn sad spread. Leftnut, MMMan & Jess got this right.

Cincinati's surprise season ended with the dull splat of playoff fudge pie. They made all three lists, which underlines the eyebrow-raising yet ultimately disappointing Bengals season: 13 Shoe-Ins, 1 Clash, 4 Underdogs.

Anyway, the Superbowl Pick'em Winner is...

While Leftnut scored an incredible 30 points in one week (with 19 bonus points thanks to picking the Saints to win the Superbowl at the beginning of the regular season and the playoffs), two-time champion Jess was consistent through the tournament and finished with 31 points.

Congratulations, Jess! Would you like another t-shirt? Otherwise, I can randomly select an item from my house and mail it to you. It could be my car keys, it could be a pint of hot dog water, it could be anything. Hmm?

Final Standings
1. Jess: 31 points (this week +14)
2. Leftnut: 30 points (this week +30)
3. Adw: 20 points
4. MMMan: 16 points (this week +1)
5. Big BM: 14 points (this week +3)
6. MWC: 11 points

Thank you for your participation. Here at Badcock Industries, we look forward to providing the 2010 Uncapped NFL Pick'em in only seven months. Until then, nanu-nanu.

You may remember that at the end of last season, Pat and Kevin Williams were suspended and fined by the NFL for violation of their substance policy. The Williamses have yet to miss an actual game, and continuing to fight against those suspensions.

Keeping up with the theme, I also have to say that I haven't seen one keeper make two killer mistakes at the level of the UEFA Championship knock-out stages before.

I'm sure most folks are watching the Winter Olympics, and thus missed one of the worst jobs of refereeing I've seen. Two horrible mistakes by the officiating crew in the final 14 minutes stole an away draw from the Florentine side.

SUNY hired an independent investigator to look at the what exactly happened at Binghamton in their rush to become a Division I basketball team. The results, as David Moltz for Inside Higher Ed reports, are not pretty.

Don't know how long until the trademark police come after this, so enjoy it while it lasts--Lyon's Jean Makoun's unbelievable strike from about 28 yards out against Real Madrid. Lyon takes a 1-0 lead into the 2nd game, thanks to this.

This is a couple of weeks old, but I'm assuming that a lot of our readership stays the fuck away from PBS as a matter of principle.

Kudos, sir. I'm sure DeMarcus Cousins appreciates your wordsmithery. (Seen during the Kentucky vs. Tennessee game)

Seth Davis, CBS and Sports Illustrated College Hoops expert, wants you to know that despite the fact that the A-10 Conference has 6 teams in the top 50 of RPI, they will not be sending 6 teams to the March Madness.

Thank you! That was inspiring. My favorite (sorry, "favourite") part was when 3 ice penises rose from the ground, and stood proudly erect, and then the caldera/bell end rose to make it one super giant penis, and then, thanks to the ministrations of Wayne Gretzky, Steve Nash, and some Canadian lady (maybe Nancy Greene?) made the whole thing ejaculate fire.

Man, this hits my geek sweet spot in a few different ways. Special Kudos to the guy doing the spot on Owen Wilson impression.

I'm watching college hoops that are taking place on the west coast--that's not a ridiculous waste of time, as UNLV is making a late charge to defend their home floor against New Mexico. Sponsor of the game Sonic invited me to try out the Tater Taunt, in which you type in a fair amount of text, and send a little animated tater tot to say those words to a friend of your choice.

I don't mean to rehash the awful luck the Timberwolves had back in 1992, when they were overwhelmingly favored to get the #1 pick, or at least the #2 pick, and missed out on both (Shaq and Zo Mourning, respectively) and ended up with Christian Laettner. That's old news, and not one I care to think about any further. Let's face it--neither O'Neal or Mourning were going to stick around in Minnesota for any longer than they were contractually obliged to. Nor am I going to talk mock the 2nd round picks of the Wolves that year (for the record, Marlon Maxey and Tim Burroughs) in what was a pretty lame draft year.

One of the things that struck me during the game (or the moments between the game) was that there was a certain tenor to a good chunk of the commercials. And that is of the quietly seething, frustrated man in a relationship with someone he doesn't seem to like very much, and for that reason, he deserves new kick-ass toys. I'm not the only one who noticed it.

I'd offer a toast to the New Orleans Saints but I have a feeling they're already toasted. That was an outstanding Superbowl.

Sean Payton played to win. Going for it on 4th and goal was a brilliant, ballsy move. And it didn't work. But the Saints got their 3 points before halftime anyway.

The onside kick to start the second half was a brilliant, ballsy move. And it did work. When Manning finally touched the ball, around an hour had passed. Keeping that (talented) chump on the bench was the key to victory. When he finally threw that pick-six, it was the culmination of an extraordinary effort in game-planning and execution by the Saints defense.
The Colts were held to 17 points, tied for their second lowest output in meaningful games all year. The Saints did it without sacks, without getting burned on big blitzes, and without panic. In the second half, the Saints repeatedly bluffed a big blitz, then dropped eight into coverage. Manning was befuddled by the man/zone combinations and the unstoppable Colts only scored once in the second half.

And maybe, just maybe, that game-losing INT means that the sportsjack army will shut up about Manning being the best QB ever. At least until next year.

Only seven months to go!

Isiah Thomas? Really, Clippers? It almost seems like they are worried about losing their status of NBA laughingstock.

Some baby panda got into Calvin's duplicator. Cuteness erupts. We've warned against it in the past, but I'll totally understand if you end up hugging the panda because of this video. (Thanks Jess)

The media likes to talk and think about the commissioners of various sports as if they are in the same model that they were created to be, which was a highly independent above the fray executive.

The Detroit Tigers did the right thing, and still got a pretty good deal in signing Justin Verlander for 5 years and $80 million. $20 mil/year, just a few years ago, would have been considered nutty, but it is now considered the norm for an ace. And Verlander, last year at least, was the very definition of an ace, leading the league in innings, strike outs and (somewhat less significantly) wins.

A nice profile from the Boston Globe, here.