I Dislike Your Favorite Team

via HuffPost

Barnyard and I talked at length about the fact that fans have overlooked the small problems in the NFL because the product has been so good, but we both feel the NFL ownership is about to fuck things up. We also talked about the fact that the legend of the No Fun League has been around since the USFL, back in the early 80's.

Sports Illustrated illustrates the point well with a couple of fines from last week.

SI, in the Go Figure column from the November 2 issue had these two fines listed back to back:

$7500--Larry English was fined that much for a horse-collar tackle on October 19th.

$10,000--Chad Ochocino was fined that much for wearing a black chinstrap instead of a white one on Oct 18th.

So, to be clear--potentially career-ending tackle that has been illegal for a couple of years now is only 75% as bad as a slight costume change that no one would have noticed. That's NFL priorities, right there.

The Yankee Stadium Goblin has appeared behind you, poorly disguised as a Yankee fan from 2001! It will undoubtedly leap out of its hidey hole and attempt to eviscerate you where you stand! For the LOVE OF GOD, Melky! Get the Hell Out of There!!!

Oops, sorry, Mr. Guiliani. Honest mistake.

(via Kotaku)

If you were scratching your head about the NFL Stadium project before, you may wish to avert your eyes.

Jonny Flynn was super clutch in the 4th quarter, and showed an attacking the hoop attitude that we haven't seen from a point guard in quite awhile. It was great fun to see.

( World Series note: Cliff Lee--you are a badass. I'm rooting for you to start every game the rest of the way)

But at least they did include a neat little mini-documentary that they decided to share. The school seems to have somehow gotten a smidge more diverse since I graduated from it back in 1992. Back then, educators were saying that the demographics of Stuart were providing a window into how schools across the nation would look. I've got a buddy who is coaching football in the Twin Cities, and I think he'd agree that there are some minorities playing football now that he didn't see a whole of lot in his playing days. Which is cool--football is the new American past time and the New American past time, if you get me.

The Washington DC professional football team has been accused of lacking an identity this year. In fact, their identity is very apparent.

In 1952, the Harlem Globetrotters commissioned a foil for their antics: the Washington Generals were born to lose. They were the faceless chumps who so earnestly failed, showcasing the Globetrotters' sweet skills.

It sounds exactly like my favorite team.

Anyone in need of a win, a jumpstart to their season, schedule my favorite team right away.

Every player, from first-time starting QBs to old rusty vets looking for a final hurrah, should have an opportunity to play against my favorite team.

My favorite football team is the Washington Generals.

As promised, the tots return for thier week seven predictions. Fiona is clearly a Bengals fan, wooed by the tiger striped helmet. Makayla gives Barnyard a smile predicting a win for Green Bay. Fiona takes the safe bet that Seattle will not win this week (as they don't play) and Makayla predicts another rough week for the niners. In the match-up of the week the tots split, one for Vikings, and one for the Steelers.

Also enjoyable: comments on the video blaming the goalie for being out of position. yeah! How dare he be off his line, when the ball is 25 yards deep on the other team's side?

Regardless, please enjoy God striking down Tulsa via a lucky goal from a Jewish fella.

Because the building project is an $800 million NFL Stadium.

You might think that with California handing out IOU's instead of paychecks that they have bigger fish to fry than mediating an environmental studies dispute between two cities. But apparently, they feel like announcing no state roadblocks to an NFL stadium is important.

Building shit so other shit comes and hangs out works in movies, but it is hard to believe that even Schwarzenegger's California (a national joke when it comes to financial management) would build a stadium that might have no tenants.

So who do the builders think it could be? A new team? Probably not. They are looking at a few existing franchises: "the San Diego Chargers, the Raiders, the Rams, the Minnesota Vikings, the Jacksonville Jaguars, the Buffalo Bills and the San Francisco 49ers."

First off, those builders (Majestic Realty) are either purposefully inflating the ranks of eligible teams or they are possibly just straight up high. The following teams on their list are nonstarters: Chargers, Raiders, Rams, Bills, and 49ers. No way any of those teams leave where they are for the reservoired, irrigated green grass of Industry City.

The Vikings? Maybe. Enough that the Star Tribune pricked up its ears and delved into it a bit: "Though the Southern California stadium still faces significant financial hurdles, Thursday's developments were being watched intently in Minnesota, where the Vikings' lease at the Metrodome expires after the 2011 season. With the Legislature facing a significant state budget deficit and a governor's race in 2010 -- and with most of the state's leading politicians shying away from the issue -- the team will face an uphill political struggle next year."

The Strib also points out an obvious, weird aspect of this--Viking Ownership seems convinced the only way to build a new stadium is with public money. California is attempting to prove them wrong; says the Governator: "It won't cost the taxpayers a dime...In California, we don't build stadiums with public money."

So I think every right-thinking taxpayer and legislator in Minnesota will be asking the Vikings the same question--why is it cheaper for you to move and reestablish your brand in LA, where NFL franchises last, on average, half a decade, than it would be to put in the work and get a stadium built with private money here?

That's a good question, and I don't see a particularly sensible answer coming, should the question ever be asked.

Back to LA (OK, Industry City)--What goes best with football? Orthopedic care, Ibsen, and shopping: "[The plans include a] 75,000-seat, 3 million-square-foot stadium complex that would also feature an orthopedic hospital, a movie and live performance theater and office and retail space."

Let's be real here. Can I be really real? No way the Vikings are going anywhere. Not when they are 6-0, not when they would be leaving for a stadium that didn't have any public dollars (proof that it could be done) and not when they are selling out the Metrodome (as winning Vikings teams always do). The team in the crosshairs is the Jacksonville Jaguars. In 2011 or 2012, get ready to cheer or boo the City of Industry Polecats.

All in all, a pretty interesting hour of 1980's era football shenanigans.

Guess who the majority of USFL participants blame for the league folding after three years? I'll give you a hint. Donald Trump was involved in the USFL.

Guess who Donald Trump blames? Everyone else!

All in all, I'll recommend keeping an eye on this series. Next up--the horrific Ali vs. Holmes fight from 1980.

It is a fascinating collection.

Here a snip:

"A new stadium takes up roughly 60 megabytes of space on a game disc, but building one takes nearly four months of work, according to Shawn Robles, the lead environment artist, and Jody Kelsey, the senior producer, for Sony's MLB The Show franchise. Their studio began preparing for an in-game version of Target Field as soon as they knew it was being built - ground was broken in August 2007 - but the bulk of their construction will come in this game's development cycle, as construction on the stadium nears completion. Only, MLB 10 The Show must arrive in March, more than a month before the first pitch is thrown in real-life Minneapolis."

Makayla and Fiona make thier NFL week six predictons. Good news for Bengals fans as the girls predict them as sure fire winners. Bad news for the Cardinal Fans - both girls also predict them as guarenteed to loose this week. And the NYG and NOS game? A tie?

Once upon an autumn dreary, while I pondered, stoned and weary
over many a quaint and curious blog of forgotten wins
while I typed, quickly tapping, suddenly there came a crapping
as of someone's sphincter clapping, crapping on my Redskins
'Tis some sportsjack,' I muttered, 'crapping on my Redskins --
only this, once again.'

Open I flung the sash, when, with pocketfuls of cash
in there stepped the Snyder with his pudgy chin.
Not the least football awareness displayed he, without humility behaved he,
but with the means of a billionaire, purchased my Redskins
Purchased the three title trophies of my Redskins --
purchased, promising more such wins.

Thus this owner, easily doping my heart into a-hoping
by the billions of dollars he could hereby spend.
'Though thy wallet is great, 'tis a team we must create.
With offensive lineman we should begin,
under a steady command by coaches to guide our Redskins --
Quoth the Snyder, 'Never again.'

Then, methought, above the hush of so many free agent busts
splurged by Cerrato for whom ignonimy beckons:
dining on free shellfish, paydays for players selfish
has-beens with guaranteed money and injured shins
aren't what we need: draft well and develop from within!
Quoth the Snyder, 'Never again.'

And the Snyder, always hiring, firing and hiring
like a puppeteer of strings always meddling
And his blindness is consuming, and new mistakes are brewing
yet another long catastrophic season,
and so my hopes for a Redskins Superbowl win
Shall be lifted -- never again!



with apologies to Edgar Allen Poe

On October 11, ESPN published the memo the head of the NFL Players Union (DeMaurice Smith) to his executive committee. After saying that he knows the ownership bid is in its early stages, Smith says, "But sport in America is at its best when it unifies, gives all of us reason to cheer, and when it transcends. Our sport does exactly that when it overcomes division and rejects discrimination and hatred." That's a very clear message--even considering the bid would be an insult to the players of the game.

Today, Colts owner Jim Irsay told ProFootballTalk that he couldn't imagine voting for a Limbaugh bid, and went even further saying it's a topic he wouldn't want to even broach with the African-American people he knows: "I don't think I would even go to the point of talking to Tony Dungy, Jim Caldwell, Dwight Freeney, talking to those men and seeing what their positions are. I'm very sensitive to know there are scars out there."

Also today, in the New York Times Fifth Down blog, Judy Battista quotes commissioner Roger Goodell as not wanting the sort of controversy machine that Limbaugh is. (Which is hardly surprising, as the NFL doesn't like dudes with markers in their socks, because that's controversial.) Goodell made it clear though, that he doesn't consider Limbaugh just a brash goofball: Goodell referenced Limbaugh's Donovan McNabb bullshit: “It’s a polarizing comment that we don’t think reflect accurately on the N.F.L. or our players. I obviously do not believe those comments are positive and they are divisive. That’s a negative thing for us, obviously.”

So that's players, owners and the commissioner, all pretty dead set against Limbaugh joining their group. That's the end of that for Rush. Sorry, you racist druggie fat-ass, the NFL doesn't want you. Try NASCAR? (awww, SNAP!)

(links found via Media Matters)

First posted on Pixelated Geek. seen by me on Kotaku.

Beating Honduras in Honduras on Saturday should have been a fun thing to celebrate for a few days, as an example. But now, one of the guys who has helped step in and change the overall nature of the pace of the US attack is out, and who knows for how long.

It has been stated that Davies was not driving the car. Given the circumstances of the accident-single car, 3:15 in the morning, one person dead at the scene--there will be more to come on what exactly happened.

The results speak for themselves:

If the DC Skins beat the winless Panthers and perhaps the winless Chiefs to emerge 4-2, Lewis will be given credit for his elder statesmanship and guidance.  If the DC Skins drop either game, the verdict will be that the patient was too fucked up to save.  Either way, Zorn has been handed a sandy pickle.  Damned if you do ...

The DC Skins don't need another set of eyes, they need some lineman who can run block.  End of fucking story, retards.

And yet I can't wait to watch them tomorrow.  

Well it's harvest time out here in the weeds, and I thought I'd twist up the collected bonus questions into one convenient, easy-to-inhale package.  

But it is impossible for those of who grew up in the age of Mr. Show to hear that news and not say, "We are Earthlings. We should blow up Earth Things."

This time, kids, we are going all the way back to September 2007--a full four years after Rush Limbaugh went on TV and declared that McNabb was getting accolades not for his numbers (which even way back then were impressive) but because he was black. ESPN was shocked, shocked!, I tell you by the fact that the racist idiot they hired to spout racist idiocy had actually spouted racist idiocy and quickly fired Limbaugh.

So, back to 2007--McNabb was coming off a knee injury. He gave an interview in which he said that black quarterbacks have a harder time staying in their chosen position than white quarterbacks, and they faced greater scrutiny.

Remember that? Remember Gregg Doyel's reaction? I do! And I'd like to remember it with you:

Here's a Doyel quote from back then:

McNabb is myopic. He thinks he has it rough? Try being Rex Grossman, the quarterback of the Chicago Bears, who gets ripped even as he is leading the Bears to the Super Bowl. The next two most critiqued quarterbacks in the NFL are probably the Jets' Chad Pennington and the Giants' Eli Manning. All three are white.

Rex Grossman is still kind of in the NFL. Chad Pennington has had yet another season-ending injury, and Eli Manning is now the highest paid Quarterback in the league. Neat. Just about all of which we could have predicted with some success in 2007. Also neat.

Here's my favorite Doyel quote from 2007, though:

McNabb? He's old and fading

Apparently, Gregg Doyel of 2007 didn't see the season of 2008. Or what I expect to be a very good second 2/3rds of 2009. And 2010.

My point mainly is that Greg Doyel isn't always wrong. He's just so close to "always wrong" that it is too hard to measure the difference. It's like a Quantum State of correctness. Quantum theory states that given enough chances, you could probably push your hand through a wall, without interacting with the molecules in the wall itself. But the odds are so low, that it would probably take you 5 billion years of trying to do it. That's Gregg Doyel.

Their two wins were ugly, ugly games against winless teams.  It's natural that their losses were exponentially uglier.  They have made zero progress since last year, and in several phases look worse.  

In my pre-camp preview, I wrote:  "If the team develops a natural passing game, their running and defense could win some contests."  

Their passing game has not developed, and QB Campbell has regressed.  In his fifth year, he should be entering his prime.  Instead he looks green and nervous, even when he does have protection.  

Their running game simply cannot be relied upon.  The run blocking is terrible; it is impossible to assess the quality of the RBs because they get tackled at the line of scrimmage.  Portis's first run of the season was 34 yards.  Since then, his longest has been 12 yards.

This just in:  DC Skins management commits another classic blunder!  The worst management pair in pro sports, Schneider and the Guido, just brought in long-retired Sherm Lewis to "consult" Zorn about the offense.  The Kiss of Death!  Sixty-eight year old Lewis, who last O-coordinated with the Lions (ugh) in 2004, had to cancel his bingo game when he took the job, I shit you not.  

While Redskins management was crowing over their latest dusty treasure, Coach Zorn had to repeatedly assure the press that "another pair of eyes is helpful." 

Current O-coordinator Smith lamely welcomed Lewis:  "If someone else can come in and help us, I'm not so prideful that I can't say, 'Well, okay, maybe you can help us.' I don't have that much pride."

Well, I was going to run some statistical predictions and make some helpful points about the most critical areas (#1 sign FA offensive linemen right now), but there's obviously no point.  

The 2009 DC Skins are doomed.

First of all, that's racist. Secondly, Good News! No matter

what the situation in Honduras, you aren't going to see that game, unless you live near the handful of Irish Chain Taverns that have paid the money to air the game. No ESPN, no Fox Soccer, no Telemundo, no nothing. Honduras sold the rights to a 3rd party closed circuit TV company, who could not in turn sell the rights to a network. How they could not, I can't imagine. This game is huge. And as of this afternoon, wasn't being aired anywhere in the State of Minnesota. There are something like four bars in all of New York that are airing it. Four bars in the DC/Balmer area. This game should be on TV. Not even a replay, at this time, will be aired.

1. Rashard Mendenhall--Really? You are recommending a full week after Willy Parker went down, and 2 days after Mendenhall crushed the Chargers? Thanks! I'd look for him in my league, except that he was drafted and hasn't, for a second, been a free agent. Thanks, though.

2. Nate Washington--Another player that was drafted in every 12 man league and had no reason to be dropped simply because of minor injury issues in the early going. "He's available in 60% of ESPN leagues!" Awesome. Also, not a great recommendation. Double boo on that one, Matthew Berry, Fantasy Football Expert.

3. San Francisco Defense--Getting recommended after 3 weeks of good play, and an absolute crushing week against St. Louis. If there wasn't a person who rolled the dice on San Francisco in your league, and picked them up a week ago? Congratulations--you are playing in the exact idiot league that Matthew Berry is speaking to. Also, congrats--you are picking them up the week after their best performance. Thanks Matthew Berry, for being a week late, despite all the signs.

4. Mohammed Moassaquoi--This would have been a true sneaky recommendation last week. This week, it's simply looking at the Top 10 Receivers, and looking for a receiver whose name isn't instantly recognizable. I could do that job, Berry. So could a computer. Don't take this the wrong way, Matthew Berry, but you are entirely useless.

But the Twins and Tigers combined to make it a 12 inning game, that lasted well into the night.

An absolute classic ballgame. The Twins' Orlando Cabrera agreed: “This is the most unbelievable game I’ve ever played or seen." (This quote does not do justice to the way Cabrera delivered it. The video of him, still geeked up, unable to to keep his new Division Champs Cap on or off his melon, stuttering, yelling, is awesome. I think the Twins have to bring him back. next year.) But sure, it's easy for a player on the winning team to say that. How about Detroit Tiger/Goofy Tattoo aficionado/Twins nemesis Brandon Inge, who said, "This is the best game, by far, that I’ve ever played in no matter the outcome."

At the risk of dismantling the nice sportsmanlike tone Inge struck: Suck it, Tigers! But you could look on the bright side--you've become a part of history: " [The Tigers] became the first team in history to blow a three-game lead with four games left."

In bonus question news, the Jets and the Ravens are no longer undefeated, to the delight of some.  To the shock of many, Denver sits at 4-0.  

Standings

1.  Big BM:  9 points

MMMan:  9 points (this week +2)

2.  Miwacar:  8 points (this week +4)

3.  Garwood:  6 points (this week +4, Jets lose +2)

4.  Barnyard:  4 points 

leftnut:  4 points (this week+2, Ravens lose +2)

5.  Adw:  3 points

Jess:  3 points

 

Week Five

1.  Your Shoe-in?

2.  Surprise!  Underdog list:

Kansas Shitty, Oaktag, Detroit, Cincy

3.  Favorite/Dislike to win/lose

3.  Do you smell a shutout?

4.  Clash of the Titans:

Atlanta Falcons at San Francisco 49ers

Goldman Sachs is negotiating the deal, which means that your money is being spent to augment this splurge.  

What I want to spend just a few sentences on here is Mike Tirico's repeated, loaded description of the circumstances of Favre leaving the Green Bay Packers.

Look, we all know the history of Favre retiring and un-retiring. Favre can go on national TV and make it sound like it was all about the Packers driving him out before he was ready--the natural reaction to that is to remember all the times he retired, dicked around all off season, and then announced at the last minute that he would come back. What management team wouldn't love that? Why, how dare the Packers draft a QB when their starting Quarterback was only 35 years old at the time, and expressing even then a certain fatigue in the game?

It is laughable, until guys like Mike Tirico and John Gruden advance the story as if it is true. Suddenly, it becomes the truth--Brett Favre was driven out of Green Bay by rapacious, vicious ownership and management! Are you fucking kidding me?

Favre retired. The Packers brought him back. He retired again, and then came back. The Packers decided that they had spent a high draft pick in Aaron Rodgers, and they needed to see what they had. They offered Favre a back-up role. He was insulted. He demanded a trade or a release. The Packers looked across the border and saw Tavaris Jackson starting in Minnesota and knew that a release was a horrible idea.

Favre treated that like it was an insult. It was a compliment. The Packers management was saying, "We know that you are a pain in the ass prima donna, but we also know you are very talented. We are going to trade you away to the team furthest away from us." Hence, the Jets.

Let's be clear-=-the Packers didn't fuck over Brett Favre. They were not mean to Brett Favre. They did not force his retirement. They got tired of the offseason question mark, and the easiest way to get rid of that question mark was to simply hold Favre to his own retirement plan.

All of this is easily looked-up, understood, or even simply remembered. It wasn't all that long ago. Mike Tirico, get your facts straight. Just because Brett Favre says the Packers were mean to him, doesn't make it fucking so, alright?

Writing for The Nation, Zirin asks the question "Can the NFL Tackle Homophobia?"

He finds a couple of active players willing to talk about the importance of fighting homophobia, which is, again, awfully surprising, and good news.

Tip your hats to Brendan Ayanbadejo and Scott Fujita. They are both articulate and forceful in their reasoning, but something about Fujita's quote really grabbed me:

"I wish they would realize that it's not a religion issue. It's not a government issue. It's not even a gay/straight issue or a question of your manhood. It's a human issue. And until more people see that, we're stuck arguing with people who don't have an argument."

Go read the whole thing.

Back then, we also pooped on Houston, San Francisco, and Los Angeles.

Much like Neil Bush, the Twins have proven they aren't afraid to spend big money on underage, overseas talent.

Back in August, the Twins signed sixteen year old Max Kepler-Rozycki, and gave him $800,000 to do so. The Twins are not known for splurging on talent, proven or unproven. The Pohlad's "carefulness with a dollar" is legendary, and pretty fair, though not always.

Kepler-Rozycki has lived his entire life in Germany, and is the son of an American woman and Polish man, both ballet dancers. His entry to baseball, obviously, was not the most common road. I highly recommend John W. Miller's Wall Street Journal article that profiles the kid, but this little passage is too good not to share right away:

After [baseball] games, Mr. Rozycki often massaged and stretched out his son. When Max played first base, he showed him how to train to do the splits: Stretch out hard every night and get to the position gradually. Ms. Kepler educated Max about breathing, concentration and the value of footwork. "I told all the scouts I have five-tool feet," she says, lifting a bare foot over a lunch of soup and sushi.

You can go here to see some video from the Twins MLB page. Fair warning, you will read a caption written by someone who does not have top notch grammar skills: "Twins prospect Max Kepler-Rozycki is not only from Germany, but he is also turning heads around the league."

But the Twins were not done with some crazy half-American/half-Polack, 100% Ballet progeny. They also signed Miguel Angel Sano, also sixteen years old(?), from the Dominican Republic. He received a signing bonus of over $3 million dollars. The Twins are high on him, obviously. Tyler Mason of mlb.com quotes the VP of Player Personnel Mike Radcliff as saying, "I think upon his signing, he immediately enters our organization as one of the higher ceiling bats that we have...He has the potential to be a middle-of-the-order kind of offensive player. He has strength, a good swing, finish, all the things that potentially add up to average, and he can hit for power."

That may be hyperbole, or it may be wishful thinking. The fact that it took $3 million to secure his rights suggests that if it is, lots of other MLB teams had the same wishful thinking.

Casey Beck and Trevor Martin were following Sano earlier this year for GlobalPost. Here's a look at the kid who might just be the next big thing in the Twin Cities, five years from now. We told you first! Kind of.