I Dislike Your Favorite Team

Once upon an autumn dreary, while I pondered, stoned and weary
over many a quaint and curious blog of forgotten wins
while I typed, quickly tapping, suddenly there came a crapping
as of someone's sphincter clapping, crapping on my Redskins
'Tis some sportsjack,' I muttered, 'crapping on my Redskins --
only this, once again.'

Open I flung the sash, when, with pocketfuls of cash
in there stepped the Snyder with his pudgy chin.
Not the least football awareness displayed he, without humility behaved he,
but with the means of a billionaire, purchased my Redskins
Purchased the three title trophies of my Redskins --
purchased, promising more such wins.

Thus this owner, easily doping my heart into a-hoping
by the billions of dollars he could hereby spend.
'Though thy wallet is great, 'tis a team we must create.
With offensive lineman we should begin,
under a steady command by coaches to guide our Redskins --
Quoth the Snyder, 'Never again.'

Then, methought, above the hush of so many free agent busts
splurged by Cerrato for whom ignonimy beckons:
dining on free shellfish, paydays for players selfish
has-beens with guaranteed money and injured shins
aren't what we need: draft well and develop from within!
Quoth the Snyder, 'Never again.'

And the Snyder, always hiring, firing and hiring
like a puppeteer of strings always meddling
And his blindness is consuming, and new mistakes are brewing
yet another long catastrophic season,
and so my hopes for a Redskins Superbowl win
Shall be lifted -- never again!



with apologies to Edgar Allen Poe