I Dislike Your Favorite Team

Or more accurately, supporters of a new taxes without a public vote being implemented to pay for a private company's investment and profit scheme are outnumbered by reasonable old* people. It isn't shocking, but this is the closest we have to Viking Stadium news, so our media outlets are gonna cover it.

Look, there are a lot of things I dislike about the idea about getting tax increases passed by the people who are going to get taxed. I've seen education referendums that cost practically nothing at all, because too many people thought something, "Why should I pay for some kid's education, when it isn't even my kid?" But I've read the studies that show that no investment pays off like education. And I've read study after study that shows that the $1 Billion Dollar Stadium does not pay itself back, just because of All The People congregating and bars selling more booze and all the stuff that Stadium Builders want to argue.  Especially if you put that stadium in the middle of nowhere, which is what the Vikings are trying to do.  The proposed site isn't as far from downtown DC as the FedEx Field is, but it ain't exactly downtown, either.

Here's the real truth, Ruth, and I don't think I've seen it summarized as succinctly as I have at Field of Schemes (who continue to be brilliant), but here's my own quick paraphrase--"There's only one way for $1,000,000,000 dollar stadiums to be profitable, and that is to have a lot of free money."  If that's the only way for them to be profitable, then they are, by definition, a bad investment.

Here's the kicker--I think they actually could be a decent investment, if corporations like the Vikings were not such pigs at the trough.  The Vikings are seeking $600 million in free money, on the argument that if they take their ball and go to Los Angeles, they will be taking a sizable taxable economy away.  But really?  How many bar sales and beer sales and hot dog sales does it take to make up 600 million dollars?  I'm guessing it takes a lot of $6 Coors Light and $4 hot dogs.  Let's see--one beer and one hot dog, $10.  Even if that went all went back to the investors, we're still talking 60,000,000 hot dogs and beers.  That's a lot of cheap beer and sketchy hot dogs.

If I were in the mood to call the Vikings on their horsepucky, and I was running a municipality from which they were trying to get 300 million dollars from, I'd say something like this, "Yes, we will fund you--we will loan you $300 million, and we will come up with very generous terms--something like $10 million a year, plus interest.  We will write a bill up that the money you pay us can only be spent on education and infrastructure. The interest we will charge will be nothing compared to what you would get at your average bank. Everyone wins!"

And everyone would. Instead of the community having a tax forced on them, that community would see an investment opportunity. The Vikings would get their new fancy place to play (which they don't need, but that's another story!). Minnesotans, long proud of not being like places like Dallas, Texas, could continue to be proud of that fact. And the Vikings would just have to carve up some room in their budget to pay back a loan, which based on the money they gave Brett Favre, they have financial wherewithal to do. If you've got $17 million to pay to a guy who did nothing for you, you've got $17 million to pay back to the people who make your team go (i.e., fans).

But that's not at likely to happen, because the NFL doesn't like even the hint of public ownership, the Vikings Ownership thinks that whatever Dallas and the Minnesota Twins get, they should get (despite the lack of championships/competence), and let's face it, the Vikings think they can make Minnesota fans blink.  They are wrong, but they do think that.



*(try to spot the person under 58 years old in the room.  He is there, I think!)

I just watched, again, last season's finale of The Venture Brothers (Operation:  P.R.O.M) and remembered how crucial(?) Mr. Wendal and Baba Oje were to some elements of the plot.

Washington let a late lead slip away and lost to the Cowboys on six field goals. The single great reason the Skins didn't win? Pass-happy playcalling featuring a shitty QB.

DC went ahead 16-9 at the end of the third quarter. With the defense playing tough, the game's only TD should have been the game winner. They only needed to eat some time, gain some field position and ice the game: a perfect scenario for the running game to take over. Instead, from the time of their lead until the end of the game, Kyle Shanahan called 16 passes and 2 runs. That is just idiotic. Most of the passes were play-action that fooled nobody because, duh, we never ran the ball.

The results were equally pathetic: less than 50% completions, two sacks (including the game-ending fumble) and a whopping 4 yards per pass attempt.

Attention, Kyle Shanahan: this QB would not start for any other team, and is the least trustworthy player on offense. Why would you pin our chances to win on Gross Rexman's 50 throws per game?

Run the ball, Kyle!

I like to think of myself as a lyrical Jesse James.

A couple of days ago, I mentioned that there was a delusional aspect to the expectations of the Vikings Offense, coming from the people who should know them best.

So, let's check in the stats of those mentioned by Paul Allen of KFAN (and Voice of  the Vikings).  (Reminder--AP 2500 yds rushing, Harvin 1200 yds receiving + 10 TD, Berrian 900 yards)

Adrian Peterson, who has had a nice start to the season, is falling far off his own stated goal (and one that Allen said was attainable)--Peterson needs to average 163 yards per game the rest of the season (a total he hasn't yet in a single game) to reach that perfectly reasonable, not at all batshit insane number of 2500 yards rushing.

Since Peterson is merely a great running back, and not The Single Best Football Running Entity of All-Time, the defenses are not quite giving the rest of the offense the room the KFAN Guru expected.

To wit: Percy Harvin had a nice day against Tampa Bay, catching 7 balls for 76 yards.  However, with an admittedly small sample size, Harvin is on course to maybe reach 800 yards.  That sounds a little low to me, to be honest.  But not as obscenely low as 1200 yards and 10 TD's sounded obscenely high.

As for Bernard Berrian's 900 yards?  His average of 17 yards every two games isn't going to get that done.  And that's not Berrian's fault.  Anyone expecting Bernard Berrian be as good as he was five years has been purposefully ignoring what Bernard Berrian has looked like for the past three years.  Berrian will be 31 before the end of this season, and even in his prime, he never amassed even 1000 yards in a season.  Expecting what would be his third best season of his career in his eighth year is ridiculous.

Goofy-high expectations lead to a fan base that can't understand why their team isn't better than it is.

That's right, doubters. Your Washington DC Skins have sole possession of first place in the division. Every sportsjack in the land opined that two wins was the most the Skins could expect this year. Instead, our undefeated heroes are in a 3-way tie for the #1 seed in the NFC.

True, DC has yet to beat a good team. And it is only week 2. But with their easiest schedule in years and a palpably different culture in the locker room, the odds are favorable that they will improve on the poor records of their last several years.

Next week is versus Dallas on MNF. The Cowboys are the biggest test so far. I recommend watching it with spicy hot wings and cold beer. With a tequila back, depending on how the O-line is protecting Der Gross Man.

As the NFL season was starting, Adrian Peterson went on local Vikings Radio (KFAN) and talked about his goals for the season.  His stated goal-2500 yards rushing, and 3000 yards total, were outlandish, to a comical degree (consider, if you will--the best single season rusher, Eric Dickerson just barely broke 2100 yards.)  But host Paul Allen didn't call bullshit.  In fact, he found it reasonable.  


Maybe it is because Paul Allen is the "Radio Voice of the Vikings", and is thus contractually obligated to believe crazy-ass shit.  Maybe it is because he is an idiot.  Maybe he just doesn't understand how football works, despite his years watching it (or, as he described it to Chad Greenway this morning, "rewinding the tape").  


Regardless, Paul Allen, before the season began assessed the offensive talent this way:




Point the first--No, Adrian Peterson can not "do it", if "do it" means 2500 rushing yards.  No one has ever done it.  No one has ever come close.  If anyone was going to do it, it would be a great rusher on a good team, not a great rusher on a (at best) mediocre team.


And thus, nor will Adrian Peterson.  To hit 2500 yards, a RB needs to average 155 yards per game, at minimum.  In Week 1, AP rushed for 98 yards.  Now, he needs to average 160 yards per game, the rest of the season.  Last year, the Chicago Bears held him to under 60 yards.


PA should have said, "Yo, AP--that goal of yours is totally insane."  But instead, he and his in-studio buddy declared 2500 yards rushing "reasonable".  "He can do it," said Paul Allen.  Paul Allen should have been gently eased into a strait-jacket and led to Belle Reve, or wherever delusional football "journalists" go when they drink too much Kool-Aid.


As for Percy Harvin--well, he's going to have to bounce a great deal to get PA's predictions--his Week One total of 2 catches for 7 yards will not do it.  Nor will Bernard Berrian's 0 catches for 0 yards do it.  In short, The Vikings hire radio talent to cover the Vikings, and in theory, that job has some Conflict-of-Interest issues.  But if Paul Allen can't do better than these "predictions", the issue isn't Conflict-of-Interest.  It is The Cost of Delusion issues.

NFL Network is getting out ahead of one story.



This is almost a straight-up retelling of a classic joke on The Simpsons that mocked the overly reactionary media.  In this case, I'm not sure the media are in on the joke.

Clearly, my super-incisive, take no prisoners, no holds barred, balls to the wall, EXTREME method of bitching about the name celebrating Native American genocide (The Washington Redskins) had the desired effect.

Is Dan Snyder changing the name?  No.  No. No No No No.  That would be disrespectful to football loving Indians everywhere.  But he is dropping his lawsuit against the local paper who he claimed were anti-Semitic went they drew cartoon horns on his photo.

So, YAY!  Dan Snyder has been forced to admit he is a super-sensitive dick about his own cultural/religious understandings of who he is.  It is only a matter of time, right, until he develops that ability to put himself in someone else's place and understand how they feel, right?

"Gosh, these angry, vaguely Burnt Siena colored folks might have a point about how "Redskins" is disrespectful...Burnt Siena isn't really red at all.  It's more of a reddish brown. Then again, it has yet to become a PR disaster, so fuck them.  Besides, I'm sure that "Redskins" honors them, even though they claim it doesn't.  Just like an Injun to not appreciate what us white people gift unto them."

And then he'll pad off, clad in his burgundy pajamas, and figure out ways to make even more money off the generic profile of a Native American man on a football helmet.

Holy crap that Packers-Saints game was awesome. I suppose one thing the lockout taught us is to say 'thank you, NFL' more often. Fuck that, but the game was awesome. Both teams look good on offense, but the Packers looked especially sharp.

Looks like we'll be seeing a lot of kickoff returns from deep in the end zone out of frustration. They will sometimes result in awesome TD's (like tonight!). However, I think the new bullshit kickoff rule will result in more injuries.

As blocking breaks down (return blockers assuming a touchback) and a speedster ill-advisedly returns a deep kick , I anticipate some ghastly results. Anyone who has played knows that full-speed collisions aren't as dangerous as full vs. half-speed collisions. That will be the unintended consequence of this rule change. Do we have a statistician on board who can follow the injury-on-kickoff metrics?

In other news, the Giants are somehow still laughably overrated. Watch the DC Skins run the ball 40 times right over the open graves of their defense, now down six starters to injury. This game might be high scoring, but because of bad D rather than good O (such as tonight's game -- shazam that was awesome). I hope that Grossman plays well but unfortunately gets injured and Beck comes in ready.

Football has begun.

It's (Almost) Saturday!  And De La Soul were and always will be the shit.

David Garrard was handed the reins of the Jacksonville Jaguars in rude fashion, so it is appropriate that he have those reins yanked out of his hand during Kickoff Week 2011.

Byron Leftwich, who had led the Jags to the playoffs, was not just demoted but booted off the team in September, 2007. Enter Garrard, who responded with high-quality play. Well, that shit is over.

Outplayed in the preseason and at odds with the locker room, Garrard was not just demoted but booted off the team a handful of days before Week 1. Luke McCown is the new starter (ha!) with Blaine Gabbert waiting in the wings. As I mentioned in my AFC preview, "Jacksonville Jaguars have no future."


However, the future looks bright for David Garrard, as he was picked up off the wire by the DC Skins. Garrard was promptly given a 5-year, $72 million deal and named the immediate starter. Looks like Shanahan has finally acquired the experienced athletic QB he's been looking for all these years!

Part of Garrard's contract contains a clause requiring him to be benched in Week 3, and then sporadically throughout the season. Shanahan's QB-by-committee approach is sure to take the league by storm.



Portions of this column are merely the cynical conjectures of a profound alienation

Despite all assurances to the contrary, the Washington-area professional football team has just announced that Gross Rexman is going to be the starter. I'm flummoxed. While I wasn't so excited by John Beck, I believed the reports that with his better arm and mobility, Beck has an upside. I believed the tales that Shanahan had his eye on Beck for years and tried to draft him, and went out of his way to bring him to the DC Skins.

I accepted the conventional wisdom, confidently related by analysts such as ESPN's Dan Graziano (NFC East blog) which explained that Beck would start, and perhaps Shanahan had even uncovered a dusky jewel for the team which he is radically rebuilding.

Wrong! Instead, it'll be Gross Rexman, who loses a turnover per every 10 completions. It'll be Gross Rexman, who showed up at camp pudgy and bloated, with sweaty hands. It'll be Gross Rexman, a player so worthy of disrespect that Zsa Zsa Gabor once called him "irrelevent."

Here's a prediction: 9 in the box will snuff our run game, 3 and outs + turnovers will keep our Potemkin Village defense exposed to the elements for 100 plays a game. Cue the benching around week 4, whereby a now-deflated John Beck (who announced himself as the starter months ago) will trudge onto the field and get dismembered like a medieval Jew. A QB muddle for the rest of the season will lead to another 6-10 record (at best) and no prospect at the position for next year.

In other news, Brandon Banks bounced back from knee surgery (!) to return a punt for a preseason TD and thusly survived the final cut. He will have many, many opportunities to return kickoffs this year.

This here little blog basically started as a place to discuss the World Cup, way back in 2006. But one of the first causes aside from the World Cup that I took up was discussing the craziness that there was a team, in the 21st century of the Common Era named The Redskins.

It is a horrific legacy of racism and genocide.  "Redskins" is racist; and there aren't enough big money Native Americans in the DC area to impact the team name because, well, you know--there just aren't that many Native Americans living on the East Coast, because of that whole genocide thing.

The first year of this annual screed, I wrote, "I've known a few Native Americans, and they have never discussed how it became somewhat cool to refer to each other as "redskin". It's too hateful to reclaim, and too basic. It isn't some word of uncertain origin. It's origin is right there in the name. Just as Asian baseball players won't ever happily claim the nickname "The Yellow Peril". Indians, Chiefs, etc, are bad enough. But Redskin is on another level. There simply isn't a metaphor than can do the Awfulness of it All justice. The Washington Dirt-Eating Savages might be more respectful."

Let's be clear--Redskin is a pejorative.  It's a fucking insult.  If you call a Native American a "redskin", I recommend that you be very, very, very good friends with that fucker.  Because if you are just casual friends, calling him or her that will result in you getting your ass kicked, or (at best) relegated to Dumb White Person Status.  TV comedy has mined jokes about White people being overly comfortable with Black Friends, until they say something like, "Oh man, you are my nigger."  And then there is a record-scratch noise, and the friendship takes a detour.  Go ahead, friends...track down your casual Native American acquaintance and call him or her "Redskin."  Oh wait--you don't have any Native friends, or acquaintances, or co-workers?  It's not your fault.  It's called Genocide, and it happened well before you were born. But just because there aren't any Native Americans in your workplace, or on your list of Facebook friends, doesn't mean they are not out there. They are! They watch TV. Unless they are on one of those Reservations that still doesn't have reliable electricity.

So here's The Washington Redskins, owned by a guy in Dan Snyder who is so thin-skinned himself that when a  free Washington Paper jokingly drew Devil features on him, he sicced his lawyers on them, and accused them of anti-Semitism.  Last time I checked, that case was still pending, even though it was complete bullshit.

I grew up in DC, and I love my DC Football.  I love Art Monk and John Riggins and Gary Clark and Donny Warren and Neil Olkewicz and Charles Mann and Dexter Manley and Gerald Riggs and Joe Jacoby and Russ Grimm and Greg Manusky and Darrell Green and Ernest Byner and Henry Ellard.  I love them all--they are not responsible for this slap in the face to Native Americans.

I love, goddamn it, the Redskins.  But that can't be their name.  Not any longer.  No more, god damn it.  It is not just insulting.  It is a reminder that Genocide works.  That white people run the country, or at least, the NFL.  Dan Snyder is pissed off and pretending it is racism that a paper gave him a mustache and horns?  Hell, Dan--imagine running a team called the Kikes, featuring a super Jewish cartoon on the helmet.  Bet you  would have changed that shit after buying them.

It's called empathy, you dick, and it isn't hard to manage.  Just ask yourself, "How would I feel if..."

Due to fiscal cutbacks at Badcock Industries, this year's prognostications did not have the benefit of high-speed punchcards and vacuum tubes. Instead, the team went back to basics: digging down deep for the truth.

Pro Football starts again this week. All the bullshit of the holdout can begin to bubble down. It is funny that the owners were going to hold back their product until players got a reduced percentage of revenue ... and then immediately gave $100 million to one player. For this bullshit, there were no football magazines this year?

NFC East: The Dream Philadelphia Cream Team should not have much difficulty in this troubled division. But it is damn obvious to me that this team is 100% guaranteed of imploding on the way to a pathetic loss in the playoffs. One of their players earlier tweeted that, with their wealth of talent, they were just like the Miami Heat. I agree, wholeheartedly. Watch your ribs, dog killer!

Dallas Cowboys are not capable of good team play. They have the personnel to be dangerous, but are a bunch of instant pudding heads. Fuck the Cowboys.

DC Skins might just be laying a decent foundation. With improvements in the running game & defense (both beginning only their second year in the scheme), they could be a good team in 2013.

New York Giants are poised to have a terrible, terrible season. The secondary is nonexistent, and team chemistry is so low that they just elected Tiki Barber as captain.


NFC North: Green Bay Packers are clearly far ahead in this division. They still need a better ground game to beat their out-of-division opponents, but the defending champs look fit.

Chicago Bears surprised me by making it to the NFC championship. I still think their defense is aging and their QB is a turnover-producing flapjack, but I can't dismiss an outside shot at a playoff spot.

Detroit Lions may have a good D-line but their QB is a punky turd with shoulders made of paper mache. I am really looking forward to watching him writhe on the turf by week 3.

Minnesota Vikings have the unfortunate symptoms of a diarrhea meltdown. With a new coach, no QB and major morale issues around the stadium & threats of moving, they will struggle. AP will face 9 in the box all year.


NFC South: Atlanta Falcons ought to make their challenge for a title this year. They need to peak in the playoffs, not mid-season. Generally well-balanced, but need a pass rush.

New Orleans Saints are talented and should be motivated after last year's embarrassing loss in the playoffs. Thanks to extra work by Brees and company, they'll come out clicking on offense. But can the defense tackle?

Tampa Bay Bucs are moving in the right direction. I haven't seen them play much, but I don't like the sound of their overhype. This team still lacks proven vet leadership and has depth concerns at every position.

Carolina Panthers are going to be first in line to pick Andrew Luck in next year's draft. Incompetent!



NFC West: this division is pathetic enough to drive a kitten to suicide. Guessing here:

St. Louis Rams have some pieces in place.

Seattle Seahawks suck and deserve to lose because they suck, especially their cheater coach.

Arizona Cardinals probably shouldn't have traded their only reliable RB.

San Francisco 49ers are stubborn about giving their QB one last chance. It's a dramedy!

There are times, when it comes to this Viking Stadium, that I feel like I'm just hollering into a wind.  Never mind that I run into a lot of people who feel the same way I do, or that there are lots of blogs who know what crap public financing for stadiums is...the local sports and major media just sees this as something that "has to happen" because if it doesn't, Minnesota will really, really regret it.

I feel like I've clearly made an argument for why a northern suburb stadium site that is currently a SuperFund site, has a total lack of Public Transit and will cost taxpayers over $600 million dollars in various forms is not such a great deal.  Let me say that part again--over Half A Billion Dollars from taxpayers from Ramsey County and the State of Minnesota.  Not redirected funds.  Brand new taxes.  And hey, if you are not reading this in Minnesota, you may have forgotten that one of our Goddamn bridges fell over a few years back.  Again, as a taxpayer, I'm all for more taxes, if it goes to things like bridges not falling over, or schools not getting shut down.  But I'm just a CRAZY LIBERAL.  Apparently, the only thing everyone in the sports pages of the Star Tribune wants to be taxed for is a new stadium for their incredibly mediocre football team. And the national media (well, ProFootballTalk) agrees.

A lot of this narrative over the Vikings has been, "Hey, you better give them what they want, because if you don't, that incredibly successful bastard in Los Angeles is going to poach this team from you."  The Vikings are apparently going to move to Los Angeles and play in the LA Colosseum until that new kick-ass stadium is built.  That's the assumption.  Hell, it's taken for granted by places like, again, ProFootballTalk.  Here are some not at all biased quotes:

Mike Florio, PFT:  "If the Vikings ultimately can’t get a new stadium in Minnesota, it won’t happen because they didn’t try....With the team’s lease at the Metrodome expiring after the 2011 and with L.A. potentially poised to host a team in the Rose Bowl or the Coliseum as soon as 2012, the Vikings could choose to be coy. To their credit, they’re doing what they have to do to ensure that they’ll remain in Minnesota for another 50 years, or more. Whether the folks in Minnesota are willing to do the same thing remains to be seen."

Mike Florio, PFT: "Target Field, the new home of the Minnesota Twins, was built in part through a local contribution that came without a public vote. That key facet of the deal, incorporated into the package by the Legislature, enabled the plan to avoid near-certain doom at the hands of the electorate. A similar strategy is planned for the new Vikings stadium, with a one-half cent sales tax in Ramsey County imposed on the people without the people having any say in the matter. If one key state senator has any say in the matter, that won’t happen...Whether or not this latest development constitutes political gamesmanship, the powers-that-be in Minnesota may soon have to resort to political games on Sundays in the Fall, because there won’t be any pro football games there unless they get this thing figured out."

Not to be overly repetitive, but when the pro-stadium people keep repeating bullshit, I have to repeat the obvious differences--Target Field was roughly HALF the cost of this stadium.  It was built in Minneapolis, where bus riders and train riders could get to it.  The tax needed for it was a 1/3 of the tax proposed for this Vikings stadium.  The Twins are, this year aside, a successful franchise.  The Twins didn't float their bill in the midst of an economic crisis.  The differences are far more plentiful than the similarities.  The one similarity that is accurate is the proportion of public/private financing...in both cases, it is about two to one.  Differences include the fact that the Twins are bringing people downtown 81 times a year, and the Vikings are attempting to get people to a SuperFund site, where nothing is, eight times a year, and are asking for more public money than the entire cost of Target Field.  Those are Obvious Differences, yeah?  Do I need to holler that?  Because it seems really, really obvious.

And let's consider for a moment, that glowing Valhalla that the LA crew have planned that will lure the Vikings away.  It is hasn't been built yet, of course.   But consider this--if it is built, it will be largely private money that builds it.  The Vikings are going to leave Minnesota because they can't get $600 Million from the public, and move into a privately-owned $1.5 Billion stadium?  I've got a feeling that that lease is going to be EXPENSIVE.  And LA crowds are fickle.  There's probably more money to be made signing a 2-5 year, super cheap lease in the Metrodome, with the promise that those new funds go to bridging a gap in the current deal.  No way, for example, should the public pay for anything like 60% of the new stadium.  I'm thinking more like 30%, tops.

Here's a question, that fellow blogger Andrew Wice keeps asking when I post about the Vikings Stadium Issues--if the Vikings took their $400 million, and upgraded the Metrodome, would they be OK?

I'm guessing they would be quite well off, but this isn't about doing well, this about keeping up with the Jerry Joneses.  They don't want a $400 million fix-up; they want a Billion Dollar Boondoggle.  And the press seems to think they deserve one.

Just watch old man Sid Hartman discuss how easily he and Bud Grant got to the new site, and how convenient it was (presumably, there were not 80,000 other people trying to get there when he tested out the route).  Oh, and by the way...Sid Hartman has been an ownership stooge for longer than you've been alive.

Without my beloved football magazines, I haven't done much research into the league as a whole. I find NFL coverage to be increasingly annoying. So I didn't unpack any of Dr. Badcock's previous prognosticators, and am instead utilizing Dr. Badcock's new Clown/Baby Nano.

With the lockout preventing teams from re-vamping, I believe that established teams will be at a tremendous advantage over their scrambling challengers.

Professor Badcock's AFC Lockout News Preview

AFC East: New England Patriots: the most stable team in the NFL will own their schedule with sounds schemes, good linemen and sterling execution.

But the New York Jets, who should manage a wild card slot, are built from the ground up to beat the Pats. That will continue in the playoffs.

Miami Dolphins are sliding backwards. They will be less competitive than last year.

Buffalo Bills are dead in the water.


AFC North: Pittsburgh Steelers are the big brother in this division. Despite problems with their running game, their organization is resilient and will contend for the title.

Baltimore Ravens have their best-ever offense and won twelve games last year, even as the D ages. However, they simply cannot beat the Steelers -- a big problem.

Cleveland Browns will once again field a noncompetitive, gutsy bunch of losers.

But they won't be worse than the witless Cincinnati Bengals.


AFC South: Indianapolis Colts will start slow, but Manning will lead his team on a late-season streak to yet again take this under-performing division.

Houston Texans have an offense nearly as good as the Colts, but their defense is worse.

Jacksonville Jaguars have no future.

Tennessee Titans seem totally unprepared for the season's start.


AFC West: Kansas City Chiefs may take a step back, but are well-geared to win this shitty division by rushing the ball 400 times.

San Diego Chargers have officially squandered years of having incredible talent in a shitty division. SI's Peter King picked them to make the the Superbowl, so you know they'll miss the playoffs.

Denver Broncos are a few seasons away from repairing the damage wrought by McDaniels.

Oakland Raiders showed definite signs of improvement and swept their division in 2010, so naturally the coach was fired. Still the worst front office in the NFL, despite stiff competition.

The second THIRD Ladies Love Cool James entry in Old School Thursday, but probably not the last.