Friday, September 28, 2012

So, What's Going On In Wisconsin These Days?


Wisconsin man arrested for humping discarded curbside couch



Now that's a love seat! Yeah! 

They never disappoint in the Florida of the Midwest.


Wednesday, September 26, 2012

NFL Pick'em Week Four

Gadzooks, this season is bizarre.  Between the blown calls by replacement refs, injuries and absurdly high scores, it has proven extremely difficult to pick games with any confidence.  Stepping in big poo with the big shoe-in has dogged our competitors.  Perhaps this coming week will provide fresh insanity.  It's like the games are being determined by snowglobe.

What this means is that this FREE CONTEST is still very much open to new competitors.  Everyone is still on the ground floor, but this pick'em is about to blow up.



Standings
1.  Big BM:  8 pts
2.  Adw:  6 pts
3.  Swanlund & Jess:  3 pts
4.  Barnyard & Ray S:  2 pts

Week Four
1.  Your Big Shoe-in?  +3/-2
2.  Your Little Shoe-in?  +2
3.  Surprise!  Your underdog list:  (+5)
     Browns, Titans, Saints
4.  I Dislike Your Favorite Team +1/-1
5.  Clash of the Titans +5:  New York Giants at Philly Eagles

 Bonus Questions +2 each
6.  Which game will have the highest combined score?
7.  Which game will have the lowest combined score?

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Old School Thursday: Steady B

Steady B is serving a life term for a failed bank robbery during which a Philly policewoman was shot and killed.

Try not to let that influence your enjoyment of this smooth track.


Wednesday, September 19, 2012

NFL 2012 Pick'em: Week Three

The IDYFT Pick'em is off to one of its most competitive starts!  Even the most casual viewer of this site is welcome to make picks in the comments section, even if you only came here looking for scuffed balls.  The pick'em has barely begun and literally anyone can win.*

Please enjoy this free contest and win one framed haiku poem by author and testicularean Andrew Wice. Handwritten and custom-framed in blonde aspen wood, this prize is sure to liven up your guest bathroom or garage with a subtle message of beauty and loss. Or, if you don't want that, I'll write a dirty limerick in your honor. Your choice!

New Scoring System
Wow!  Instead of ground and pound, we're switching to run and shoot.


The Big Shoe-In
Pick the one team that will definitely win. Correct pick is +3, incorrect pick is -2.  Don't step in the big poo!





The Little Shoe-In

Pick one team that will probably win.   Correct pick is +2


Surprise!
Pick the longshot underdog of the week from a weekly Underdog List.  +5


I Dislike Your Favorite Team
Each week you may either pick your favorite team to win or you may pick your most disliked team to lose. Your favorite and most disliked can't change during the season.  +1/-1
My favorite team will always be the DC RG3's, while the Dallas Cowpucky will always be my most disliked team.

 
The Original Clash of the Titans
Get back to basics. A featured Game Of The Week pick.   +5

 Current Standings  (unchanged from last week due to nobody scoring -- see also, Pats & Ravens)

1. Big BM & Adw: 4 pts
2. Swanlund & Jess: 3 pts
3. Ray S: 2 pts

Week Three
1.  Your Big Shoe-in?
2.  Your Little Shoe-in?
3.  Surprise!  Your underdog list:
     Rams, Bucs, Chiefs
4.  I Dislike Your Favorite Team
5.  Clash of the Titans:  Houston Texans at Denver Broncos

 Bonus Questions +2 each
6.  Which game will be the biggest blowout?
7.  Which game will be the closest?





*  I mean this literally; I am not being ironic.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Old School Thursday: X-Clan

Don't remember X-Clan? I don't blame you. racist.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

23 Years Late, the Truth of Hillsborough Comes Out

























I don't know if you remember the events surrounding the Hillsborough tragedy, in which a FA Cup semi-final  cost 96 non-rioting, non-Hooligan fans their lives. I remember it from the time, but only vaguely. I was 15 years old in 1989, and I loved soccer, but that was a time in America in which the only soccer you got was when something like Hillsborough happened. World Cup Finals were not on ABC, and FA Cup Games weren't on ESPN.

But you may remember it as being reported as hooliganism, or simply, from an American perspective, the craziness of the Brits over fucking soccer, for fuck's sake.

That would be an incorrect memory, and one that I shared. At the time, I remember, America watched with a somewhat bemused horror--"We love our NFL and NBA and such, but who are these people, and why would they die over their team?" And rather than follow that question to logical conclusion (most people would not; something is amiss) we moved on to the next thing, and so did most people in England. They were acquainted with hooliganism by then, and it wasn't much of a stretch to see it that way.

To their credit, Liverpool FC, the club that those fans died attempting to see, has never forgotten, and they have made their belief in who was to blame quite clear: "24,000 tickets, 23 turnstiles, two criminally overcrowded pens, 96 dead and 766 people injured - numbers alone don't even begin to tell half the story of a disaster that has shaped Liverpool Football Club and the fans that will forever follow it."

But the investigations had always come up short--those people were just frenzied, or stupid, or what have you. We have known for awhile that the logistics of the game were terribly considered. That part is not news.  While the educated public has known for a while that the victims of Hillsborough were not drunken rioters (the photos alone should have put that one to bed) there was always the suggestion that the fans, coupled with bad logistics and poorly thought out barriers, did it to themselves.

The report out yesterday destroys that premise. What that report states is very much like what a movie conspiracy looks like. I did not know it was possible to cover up this level of malfeasance against one's own citizens for as long as the Sheffield police (and others) had managed. Quite simply, the families of the victims have been lied to, over and over again, for more than two decades.

From the BBC: "The families have always challenged the original inquest, which concluded that all the victims had been dead or brain dead 15 minutes after the game had kicked off at 15:00. By analysing post-mortem test results, the Hilsborough panel found 28 of the 96 victims had had no 'obstruction of blood circulation' and there was 'separate evidence that, in 31, the heart and lungs had continued to function after the crush'."

The report also states that the police ran background checks and blood tests on every victim, no matter how old or young they were, in the hopes of painting them as drunk or with a history of violence. Even if you were a dead ten year old girl, the report says, the police tested your blood. If that doesn't disgust you, I don't know what will.

The police and others provided sourcing to an article that was published by The Sun, titled "The Truth About Hillsborough" that blamed Liverpool fans, and described them as drunken, thieving louts who fought the police that were there to help them. The Sun apologized yesterday. It may hard to imagine for kids today who have video cameras in their pockets, but there was a time when a public disaster could be reported by a paper with no visual evidence, and that account would be taken as the truth.

[update] English footballer Steven Gerrard, who lost a cousin in the disaster, weighs in.

Watch PM David Cameron read from the report:





full report here.
video of the event, as it happened.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

NFL 2012 Pick'em: Week Two

Last week was just a last-second teaser for the NFL 2012 Pick'em, netting a handful of points. This is the launch of the full campaign. It's a long way to the end of the regular season, so stick with it. Bonus points, ghost points and new features such as interactive injury celebration (patent pending) vouchsafe a slobberknocker of a 2012 NFL season.

Please enjoy this free contest to win a bounty: one framed haiku poem by author Andrew Wice. Handwritten and custom-framed in blonde aspen wood, this prize is sure to liven up your guest bedroom or garage with a subtle message of beauty and loss. Or, if you don't want that, I'll write a dirty limerick in your honor. Your choice!

Please leave your picks in the comments section. Points accumulate through the season. These will be the categories every week:

The Big Shoe-In
Pick the one team that will definitely win. Correct pick is +2, incorrect pick is -3





The Little Shoe-In

Pick one team that will probably win. Correct pick is +1, incorrect pick is -2


Surprise!
Pick the longshot underdog of the week, drawing from a weekly Underdog List. +3




I Dislike Your Favorite Team
Each week you may either pick your favorite team to win or you may pick your most disliked team to lose. Your favorite and most disliked can't change during the season. +1/-1

Exempli gratia, my favorite team will always be the DC Skins, while the Dallas Cowpucky will always be my most disliked team.


The Original Clash of the Titans
Get back to basics. A featured Game Of The Week pick. +2/-2



Standings

1. Big BM & Adw: 4 pts

2. Swanlund & Jess: 3 pts

3. Ray S: 2 pts


Week Two
1. Your Big Shoe-In? +2/-3

2. Your Little Shoe-In? +1/-2

3. Surprise! This week's underdog list:
Arizona, Jacksonville, Tampa Bay
+3

4. Your Favorite Team Wins/Most Disliked Team Loses? +1/-1

5. Clash of The Bird Titans: Baltimore Ravens at Philadelphia Eagles +2/-2

Bonus Questions

6. Interactive Injury Celebration: Pick a starting player on any team who will not miss a game due to injury in 2012. +6

7. Interactive Injury Celebration: Pick a starting player on any team who will miss at least one game due to injury in 2012 (players already injured are not eligible). +6

8. At the end of the regular season, who will be the #1 seed in the AFC? +9

9. At the end of the regular season, who will be the #1 seed in the NFC +9

10. The Long Bomb: your Superbowl winner?
(+17 points in playoff round)

Nick Sundberg, football hero UPDATED

Two negative plays on special teams were the only times the DC Skins did not look in control during their thrashing of the Saints. The Saints blocked a punt, and later a knuckleball snap was mishandled by the punter.

It turns out there was a fair reason: long snapper Nick Sundberg was playing with a broken arm. I emphatically hope he returns to the team as soon as his ulna heals. Hail, Nick Sundberg. You are a true American football hero. Hail.

UPDATE: The Raiders lost their long-snapper to injury on Monday night. The result was three botched snaps and a loss.

UPDATE #2: Washington placed Sundberg on the IR/return list, a new designation which allows Sundberg to return to the team after his injury heals. Hooray! Nice to see loyalty and grit be recognized.

Saturday, September 08, 2012

NFL 2012 Pick'em: Week One

The 2012 NFL season has already kicked off. What could possibly make life sweeter? How about a free contest with the incredible prize of a framed haiku poem by author Andrew Wice? Handwritten and custom-framed in blonde aspen wood, this prize is sure to liven up your guest bedroom or garage with a subtle message of beauty and loss. Or, if you don't want that, I'll write a dirty limerick in your honor. Your choice!

This year's pick'em is obviously off to a stumbling start. It will start in full swing starting early next week, I promise. But for the rest of Week One, what's wrong with generating some BONUS POINTS to get the ball rolling and hopefully deliver a lead to me, your long-suffering Pick Master.

This week only, all correct picks will be worth +1.

Please leave your picks in the comments section. These will be the categories every week:

The Big Shoe-In
Pick the one team that will definitely win.





The Little Shoe-In

Pick one team that will probably win.


Surprise!
Pick the longshot underdog of the week, drawing from a weekly Underdog List.



I Dislike Your Favorite Team
Each week you may either pick your favorite team to win or you may pick your most disliked team to lose. Your favorite and least favorite can't change during the season.

Exempli gratia, my favorite team will always be the DC Skins, while the Dallas Cowpucky will always be my most disliked team.


The Original Clash of the Titans
Get back to basics. A featured Game Of The Week pick.



Week One
1. Your Big Shoe-In? +1

2. Your Little Shoe-In? +1

3. Surprise! This week's underdog list: (+1)
Washington, Colts, Rams, Miami, Browns

4. Your Favorite Team Wins/Most Disliked Team Loses? (+1)

5. Clash of The Titans +1: Pittsburgh Steelers at Denver Broncos

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Professor Badcock's 2012 NFC Preview

Here at Badcock Industries, we know that today's modern a-go-go world doesn't leave you a lot of time to digest detailed, heavily researched football previews. That's why Professor Badcock's NFL Preview comes pre-chewed and Prêt-à-Porter.

Color Code: Superbowl Contender / Playoff Contender / Middling / Meat



NFC East
New York Giants are the defending champs, once again victimizing the Pats after a hot playoff run. Most players return for a pass-and-sack team oddly allergic to the run.

Philadelphia Eagles have plenty of talent and hype. While the former makes them dangerous, the latter will once again doom them. They aren't ready for when Vick gets injured.

Dallas Cowboys lost pieces of their still-explosive O and their D-backs are a weakness. They are no longer built to fight shoot-outs, and lack the character to win when it matters.

Washington Redskins
are under-talented to compete in this division. They again failed to improve a moribund O-line and fans pray that RG3 survives this year. The D will be able to apply a lot of pressure, but remain vulnerable to big plays through the air.

NFC North
Green Bay Packers have a lot to prove. The pass-only offense thrives during the regular season, but that pass defense gambles way too much. They are in danger of peaking too early again.

Chicago Bears will rely on talented but cretinous skill players. The O-line is a sore spot. The paint is really chipping off the defense, but they can still stuff the run.

Detroit Lions have heaping bushels of talent but are poisoned by dishonor at every level. They have absolutely no running game and the play-making defense lacks focus and poise.

Minnesota Vikings simply don't have the D-backs to compete in this division. Their O-line is a strength, but question marks at skill positions neuter the team. The D gets sacks in bunches.

NFC South
Atlanta Falcons are in win-now mode. They are balanced on both sides of the ball, but hard questions await them in the playoffs. Will this be the year they can finally answer them?

New Orleans Saints suffer from the bounty trauma, which distracts from real problems on a lackluster defense. The offense, meanwhile, will be unstoppable.

Carolina Panthers have an exciting young QB and juggernaut running game. But the defense is well behind in development, and needs a major infusion of talent. Next year?

Tampa Bay Buccaneers
quit after week 6 last year, and were giving up over 40 ppg by season's end. First time pro Coach Schiano must overhaul this team before they move forward.

NFC West
San Francisco 49ers hope a good offense and a great defense are enough for a deep playoff push. With a very gelatinous mid-season schedule, they should nab the #1 seed. But are they still relying on QB Smith?

Seattle Seahawks are not a very good team, and never will be under Coach Carroll. In any other division, they would be a doormat.

Arizona Cardinals got hot at the end of 2011, but it is wrong to assume this will carry into the new season. They are a dog turd powdered with confectioner's sugar.

St. Louis Rams are again rebuilding, and lack talent at every level. New Coach Fisher might have them turned around in a year or two, but at the moment they are a dog turd which hasn't been powdered with confectioner's sugar.



Check back soon for the DC Skins preview and the launch of the 2012 IDYFT Pick'em.

And please visit my new website for free chapters of my new novel, the Object: AndrewWice.com.

Professor Badcock's 2012 AFC Preview

Here at Badcock Industries, we know that today's modern a-go-go world doesn't leave you a lot of time to digest detailed, heavily researched football previews. That's why Professor Badcock's NFL Preview comes pre-chewed and Prêt-à-Porter.

Color Code: Superbowl Contender / Playoff Contender / Middling / Meat



AFC East

New England Patriots once again have one of the easiest schedules in the league, and know how to win in the playoffs. The D gives up points but the O scores many more.

Buffalo Bills are a streaky team that ranges from decent to poo. Watch for a late-season surge vs. garbage opponents. They will play just well enough to agonize their fanbase.

New York Jets are about to crash ugly. The circus at QB and a rapidly-deteriorating defense will end with Coach Ryan fired. You read it here first!

Miami Dolphins are one of the most poorly-managed teams in the NFL. They also boast a first-time head coach, spotty talent and no hope on the horizon. Now that's a reality show.

AFC North
Pittsburgh Steelers are a stable franchise which produces solid teams year after year. They are not invulnerable in 2012, but will be rightly feared in the playoffs.

Baltimore Ravens will rely more on their run-and-bomb offense than their age-and-injury depleted defense. But that D remains wily and hungry, and a big year at QB could mean a title.

Cincinnati Bengals lack the coaching and management to become a true contender. 0-4 versus Steelers/Ravens last year, they can beat middling teams but will flop in the playoffs.

Cleveland Browns draft out of desperation but sit on their thumb during free agency. Holmgren and Shurmur will wear out their welcome shortly. This team's progress cannot even be measured.

AFC South
Houston Texans should have an easy route to the playoffs. A dropoff in their O-line and over-rated defense will keep them from beating anyone special.

Tennessee Titans might be competitive this year. Decent play out of their young QB and a scrappy D could yield a late-season surge if new Coach Munchak can keep them together.

Jacksonville Jaguars lack offensive playmakers besides a disgruntled MJD. They have a decent defense but no internal stability and it will show.

Indianapolis Colts have jettisoned almost their entire roster and hope to rebuild over the next few years. Will that taxpayer-funded dome be empty by then?

AFC West
Denver Broncos are poised to walk away with the division. The D makes plays, but the offense is not yet built around QB Manning. Can he survive until more pieces are in place?

Kansas City Chiefs have bolstered their personnel but too many key players must recover from serious injuries. I don't believe Coach Crennel can make the backups play over their heads.

Oakland Raiders won't mourn Al Davis for long. Although the team has talented lines, they will be hampered by previous managerial blunders for another year. They will compete, but lose.

San Diego Chargers squandered years of divisional mediocrity, and will tumble this year like so many yards of Coach Turner's neck skin. It will be hilarious.


Check back soon for the NFC preview, DC Skins preview and the launch of the 2012 IDYFT Pick'em. Also visit my new website for free chapters of my new novel, the Object: AndrewWice.com.
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