Friday, September 28, 2012
So, What's Going On In Wisconsin These Days?
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Oh, Wisconsin: Sensenbrenner Edition
Of course, you probably know that the Real World Boston cast member/one-time ESPN Outdoor Games commentator Sean Duffy (who I once ran into and pestered at Billy's on Grand. Mostly with the following questions--"So, Montana--what was she like? Bitchy, right? Because I watched your season, and she came off as super-sucky.") is now in the House of Representatives (for now, but with quotes like this--not for long).
But the old man of the GOP in Wisconsin is James Sensenbrenner. He's been around forever. The Democrats in Wisconsin have Milwaukee Bucks owner Herb Kohl (until he retires next year). The Republicans have Sensenbrenner. Both have been in public office for as long as you have been cognizant of Congress (or close to it).
So, what did Representative James Sensenbrenner do to make news this week? Did he help broker the deal that finally got that payroll tax vacation passed? Did he make a courageous stand against the horrible SOPA Bill? Or did he live up to his Wisconsininess, and do something incredibly stupid and wrong-headed, and sit down with a bunch of citizens, and make rude comments about Michelle Obama's ass?
GUESS! According to one of the people there, this happened: "He implied that Michelle Obama being interested in childhood obesity was not serious, he sort of made fun of it and then he made fun of her. He said something like, look at her big butt.”
A couple of things here:
1. Thanks to Representative James Sensenbrenner, we can finally have the conversation we, as a nation, have always wanted to have--which First Lady would you most like to tag? To be fair, we'd probably have to exclude Dolley Madison, because we all know she was a tramp who would be down for all sorts of freaky shit, and would run away with the poll.
|"Hypocrisy? Is that something I can fry in bacon fat?"|
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Wisconsin Criminals Do The Reporting For You
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
They Love Their Late Dinners in Wisconsin
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Hey, Michigan State, Where's-a Mario?
Friday, January 07, 2011
More Terrible Judgement from Wisconsin: Snooki Edition
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Seriously, Wisconsin--Enough With the (alleged) Bizarre Sex Crimes
Star Tribune's Paul Walsh writes, "Two Wisconsin men, one of them a twice-convicted sex offender, have denied in court that they used a live snake to rape a woman in a home in Eau Claire."
emphasis fucking mine.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Seems Reasonable, Wisconsinite
A 66-year-old man from the Town of Vermont is in custody after a tense 15-hour standoff between himself and Dane County deputies that allegedly began after he became enraged by Bristol Palin's performance on "Dancing with the Stars" and fired a shotgun at a television in the home.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Wisconsin, Where Even the Ultra-Pious Are Dirtbags
Two Amish brothers are facing a string of sexual assault charges, including committing incest and engaging in bestiality, on a Grant County farm.
The Grant County sheriff said it's one of the strangest and most disturbing cases he has seen.
Thursday, August 05, 2010
A pregnant La Crosse woman on probation is accused of trying to rob a South Side restaurant for drug money late Tuesday only to fail when she could not pull her weapon — a hammer — from her shorts.
"I want a soft shell and this is a stickup. Give me all your money," the woman reportedly told the cashier.....[Julie] Bailey, who had a 0.21 blood-alcohol content when arrested, told police her roommate threatened to evict her if she didn't come up with money for crack cocaine. She tried to sell her engagement ring back to Kmart for $150
Saturday, July 31, 2010
One Year Anniversary: Ron Coomer Gettin' Rubbed
Saturday, June 05, 2010
Honesty in Adversity, A Wisconsin Virtue
STEVENS POINT, Wis. — An Amherst man accused of trying to steal dirty diapers from a home has been sentenced to 30 months of probation....
According to the complaint, when [the homeowner who had detained Dillon Makuski] asked whether he intended to steal dirty diapers, Makuski said "yes."
Friday, February 26, 2010
Alvin Robertson Did What?
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Degenerate Wisconites Come To Minnesota: Steal Walleyes
Friday, December 18, 2009
Children Always Steal Reindeer From the Drunkest Santas
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
This is Called "Kicking the Tires" in Wisconsin
"Benjamin Tatzel, 45, of La Crosse, registered a preliminary breath-test reading of 0.39 percent Monday afternoon, police said. That's nearly five times the legal limit for operating a motor vehicle.
Police gave Tatzel a public intoxication warning, meaning he can either pay a $240 fine or attend a two-hour sobriety class, police said."
Here's the kicker:
"[Talzel, a] liver transplant recipient was cited for being falling-down drunk on a street in La Crosse, Wis., police said Wednesday."
People, whether you have a new liver or not, .39 percent is awfully fucking drunk. On a new liver, on which you are not supposed to be any unnecessary strains, .39 is way, way too high.
Monday, August 03, 2009
AP Buries the Lede in Infidelity Revenge Story
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Ron Coomer In Creepy-Vision
Friday, July 17, 2009
In Wisconsin, The Hot Dog Eats You
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wisconsin Radio Shacks + 50 Year Old Men = Thunderdome!
According to the police report, 56-year-old Leigh Carey was trying to return something at the Radio Shack on Clairemont Avenue.
Carey told investigators Knol wouldn't let him, so he asked to talk to a manager.
That's when he says Knol started punching him and a witness called 911."
(--via Boing Boing Gadgets)