Showing posts with label blyleven. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blyleven. Show all posts

Friday, January 08, 2010

Jay Mariotti Should Not Be Allowed on TV

Nor should he be allowed to vote. On anything, ever again.

Read his justification for not voting for Bert this year, when he voted for him last year. It's amazing.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Most Entertaining Triple You Will See All Year

Twins back-up catcher Mike Redmond is known for being tough, and for being a pretty good hitter of the slap single to right field variety. He's an old grizzled vet who spends most of his time on the bench, backing up the best offensive catcher in recent memory. He is most definitely not known for his speed on the bases.

That's what made his triple against the Texas Rangers so damn entertaining. That, and the reaction from the Twins bench (Ron Gardenhire chuckling, and Carlos Gomez doing the worst dance/jumping thing I've seen lately) and from the wonderful Twins commentating team of Dick Bremer and Bert Blyleven, which was a combination of surprise, pride, with a liberal dose of humor. As Bert notes in the clip, this is Redmond's first triple in about 6 years, and I believe one of three in his entire career.

It didn't lead to a score--in all ways it was inconsequential. But still--the single most entertaining triple you will see this year, bar none.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Dick Bremer Attacked By A Pterodactyl

Dick Bremer and Creepy Massage Enthusiast Ron Coomer were wrapping up the Twins vs Kansas City, which featured a rare Joe Nathan blown save, and a rare Joe Nathan win.

By the way, how rare is Joe Nathan blowing a save against the Royals? Here's La Velle Neal of the Star Trib, dropping science: "Nathan entered the season with 30 saves and a career 0.81 ERA against the Royals and hadn't given up a run in five outings against them this season."

Anyway, Bremer and Coomer were wrapping up the game, and specifically, praising the bottom of the Twins hitting order, when Bremer was attacked! ATTACKED! By, according to Coomer, a "pterodactyl". Turns out, it was just a big ass grasshopper. Of all the days for Bert Blyleven to be on vacation--you know he would have eaten that fucking thing without a second thought.

Here's your Pterosaur, with shitty filming by me, and IDYFT contributor miwacar reacting incredulously to the Coomer's use of "pterodactyl". You want the audio, you'll probably have to crank your volume.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Ron Coomer In Creepy-Vision

Sure, the talk this week has been all about another creepy, sick video, but the lads over at FSN have a response. The Twins media folks have been doing some promotion work at Wisconsin vacation getaway city, the Wisconsin Dells. It's been horrible timing for it, as the weather has been the coldest it has ever been in 100 years for July in the northern midwest.

But during tonight's Twins game (which the Twins won over the Rangers, 4-1, to get their win streak up to four games) there was one of the most disturbing cross promotions. This one is former MLB'er (career AVG: .274) Ron Coomer, being massaged by an employee of Rhapsody Resort and Spa. Your camera operator is Garwood B. Jones of IDYFT, and would wholly endorse his fancy iPhone has a video camera.

"Enjoy" the video--please note the volume isn't super loud, and you may have to turn up your speakers to really the truly creepy way Ron Coomer is talking (I term it the "near-release whisper"). The people reacting at the end are the awesome crew of Dick Bremer and Bert Blyleven, who should be in the Fucking Hall of Fame already.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Because Dick Bremer Asked The Question

Bert Blyleven scored 19 runs in his 22 year career--14 runs in his 19 years in the AL and 5 more in his 3 years in the NL.

He reached his 19 runs by 1979. 

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Fans of the Game, Bert Blyleven Says "Get a Room"

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Twins Beating Up Racist Iconographers

In all the NFL Draft hype and NBA Playoffs hype (which we haven't covered at all, because not a one of us seem to be able to care when we all know that the Final is about 90% certain to be Cleveland vs Lakers, with the Lakers winning in 7) and NHL hype, we've lost track a little bit on our beloved Minnesota Twins, who have been handing out some ass-kickings to the Cleveland Indians in some expected and unexpected ways.

The way Cleveland pitchers have been hurling this year, one expects to get some hits on them.  But any Twins pitcher with any sense of history knows that the Indians hit the crap out of the Twins, too.  Hafner, Garko the Barbarian, Sizemore, etc, etc.  I'm pretty sure every Twins fan in the country was aware of Hafner's power a good two years before the East Coast based media glommed onto him, simply because his bat fucking destroyed the Twins for about 3 years straight.

And so, while it was no shock to put 5 runs on the board on Friday night against Fausto, I was a little surprised that Nick Blackburn scattered 6 hits, giving up only one run in 7 innings of work

Cleveland is carrying 13 pitchers, so it was not a big surprise to me that Jason Kubelly Kubel was able to knock 2 pitches out of the park, or that Joe Crede was able to follow Kubel's second homerun with one of his own, inflating poor Masa Kobayashi's ERA by a a few points.  

But Kevin Slowey, going 8 innings deep, and even starting the ninth?  Without giving up a run?  That was surprising.  Slowey may have benefitted from some overly aggressive swinging on the Injun's part--Slowey isn't what you would call a strikeout pitcher, but he picked up 7 of them in this game, including 4 in a row. 

But another thing to notice is that the Twins (along with the rest of the league) are gravitating towards Bert "Farts and Fuck and Hall of Famer ALREADY" Blyleven's mindset--which is that pitch count is bullshit, and possibly harmful to a team.

Bert, for years, has railed, in his polite Dutch way, that pitch count is bullshit--you don't pull a pitcher after 100 pitches just because, and you certainly don't pull him after 85 pitches just because.  Slowey threw 114 pitches Saturday; Blackburn threw 99 on Friday.  The bullpen got massive rest, and along the way, the Twins in two games have outscored the Smiley Faced Injuns 12-2.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Ways to Make a Blow Out Entertaining

When it is 9-2 in the 6th, and your Minnesota Twins offense has not looked particularly strong all year (aside from that 12-5 abberation against the Sox), you might start to flip around on the old TV remote hoping to find something more compelling.  But then you miss the absolute fun that is Dick Bremer and Bert Blyleven when they no longer have to talk about the game at hand.  I offer up two verbal recaps (without the express written consent of MLB or the Twins):

1.  Dick, I think in the 5th or 6th inning, mentioned that everyone was wearing #42 for a reason.  It was because, of course, the annual celebration of Jackie Robinson.  The lads then went into a little bit of well-intentioned specious reasoning--namely, talking about great African-American players who we would not have seen if Jackie Robinson hadn't broken the color barrier.  Famous names were thrown out there--Reggie, Kirby, Ricky, etc.  (Of course, almost all of those guys would have played in the Majors--if it wasn't Jackie, it would have been Larry Doby, or Satchel Paige, or someone else before 1950.)  But their hearts were in the right place.  And then they talked about the inclusion of African-Americans helped open the game to all nationalities--I'm Paraphrasing here:  

Dick:  "Cubans, Venezuelans, all these players from different  people."
Bert:  "A number of great players from many different countries."
Dick:  "There's been some talk about retiring Roberto Clemente's number retired like Robinson's has been."
Bert:  "And don't forget the Dutch!"
Dick:  "That's just you and Jim Kaat."
Bert:  "Jim Kaat was from Holland, New York Michigan."  (corrected via miwacar's recall)

2.  Right about the same time, just before or just after, there was a dugout interview with last night's winner, Glen Perkins.  Bert handled most of that interview, and they hit upon Bert's FAVORITE THING--which is pitching inside.  I'm in total agreement with him on that, but pitching inside is, without doubt, one of Bert's favorite things (right up there with farting).  After some discussion about Perkins' game the previous night, the discussion turned to Baker's rather poor outing tonight.

Bert and Dick both asked questions about how Perkins talks to his fellow pitchers, what he gets from them, what they give to him, etc.  It was mildly humorous work from the Fox Sports director to get shots of Perkins talking about giving his fellow pitchers some space before he talks to them, intercut with shots of fellow pitcher Kevin Slowey practically interrogating Scotty Baker in the dugout.  

But what really sold it, after a good 5 minutes of interview, in which these two shots were intercut throughout, was the final shot, with Perkins talking about how it is important to get the feedback from other pitchers, and how a pitch of your own might strike you as a good pitch until your fellow pitchers tell you that no, that isn't a good pitch.  As Perkins is discussing how he would talk with Baker at some point, but wanted to give him space (the cuts showed us, yet again, Slowey in the midst of a heavy convo with Baker)  the camera pulled back a bit, and the final joke was revealed--not three feet to Perkins' right was Baker, who must have heard everything Perkins had said.  Hilarious!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Coming and Going

Mike Mussina is retiring.  He's coming off one of his better years, actually.  20 wins, Golden Glove, highest first strike percentage in the league.  But he's been pitching for 18 years, and he's clearly a guy with other interests.

I had been assuming that Mussina was going to fall into the Bert Blyleven trap of Non-Hall of Famers.  But Tim Kurkijian made a pretty compelling argument that he should be, even though he's got no World Series rings, and he's only got 1 20-game winning season.  Couple that with a lot of years with a franchise in Baltimore that was dysfunctional for many of his ten years there. Tim pointed out that Mike Mussina was on his way to 20 games in 1994, the strike-shortened season.  Mussina is retiring with a winning percentage well over 100 games over .500.  He's finishing in the Top 20 All-Time strikeouts (2813 of them). He played his entire career in the Steroid Era and in the AL East.   Kurkijian convinced me, but also made me wonder (once again) who the fuck Bert Blyleven has got to blow to get into the Hall.

Mussina is wandering nerdily into the sunset, whilst Freddy Adu is beginning to rise to prominence.

I can hear your reaction from here--Freddy Adu?  Didn't I hear about that guy years ago?  About how he was going to be the savior of American soccer?  Didn't he completely wash out?

Actually, Freddy just turned 19 in June.  Which goes to show how early the hype machine kicked in for the poor kid.  No one, especially a soccer player (who usually hit their stride in their mid-20's) should be hyped up at age 14, or forgotten by age 18, which kind of happened to Adu).  Freddy, quietly, has been playing better and better in National play, when he gets some burn.  Tonight, in a match that didn't mean anything of real import to the US, Freddy got a lot of time, played really, really well--finding space on the wings, finding space in the middle and slotting passes to his wingers.  But the reason he is getting mentioned now is that he scored his first official National Team goal.  Adu had scored for the Olympic Team and the U20 team, but this was his first true International Cap goal.    It was a free-kick goal, and not hit with a ton of power, but with a great sense of placement.  So congrats, Freddy!    

Added bonus:  The US beat Guatemala, who are huge dicks on the pitch.  Guatemala is now done in World Cup qualifying.  Good!  Also good to see:  Jozy Altidore looking really comfortable in his role--assisting on one goal, getting dragged down to set up the other, and in general, causing massive trouble for the Guatemala defense.  Not good to see:  Kenny Cooper getting a goal.  Not because I don't want Kenny Cooper to do well but because I don't believe he will do well, and he barely scored on a perfect assist from Altidore.  Cooper is a 24 year old who is finds himself one of the most prolific scorers in the MLS.  In other words:  Brian Ching, Taylor Twellman, etc, etc. Go to Europe, if you can, Kenny!  Prove your worth.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

What an Odd Twins Game

Last night, the Twins almost got no-hit; tonight they exploded for 13 runs on 16 hits. Getting that many hits isn't actually a shock. As the totally awesome announcing crew of Bremer and Blyleven pointed out, the Twins tend to get at least 10 hits after getting one-hit.

Things that don't normally happen after getting one-hit include winning the next game (they looked to my bare eyeball to be roughly .500, even with at least 10 hits), or getting 5 RBI's from Nick Punto (which simply never happens) or a rookie hitting for the cycle, as Carlos Gomez did.

How rare is it for a Twin to hit for the Cycle? You have to go back to Kirby Puckett, before he had even one World Series ring--1986, for fuck's sake. Gomez went 4-6, with 2 strikeouts, though to be fair, his last strikeout came after he had hit for the cycle, and had come up to bat for the second time in the 9th, with the Twins leading 13-0. Can one blame him for flailing a bit? I can't.

Carlos Gomez, of course, part of the Santana trade. The idiots who comment on The Star Tribune are already saying, "oops, I guess this was a good trade. This guy hit for the cycle."

It was a good trade, but not because Gomez hit for the cycle on one night. It was a good trade because Santana was asking for money that only 3 franchises were willing to pay, and the Twins got good value in return, Carlos Gomez being one of those guys, who'd still rather bunt than swing, regardless of tonight. It was a good trade, but not on the basis of an admittedly historic night.

Of course, it would be easy, on the night that Carlos Gomez hit for the cycle (something that Torii Hunter, never, ever did) to pull some random quote from Patrick Reusse decrying the trade that sent Santana to the Mets, that gave the Twins Gomez, and room to sign veteran pitcher Livan Hernandez. Because it is easy, I will do so:

He's 22, he's played in the big leagues, he's the key to the trade, the Twins don't have another center fielder worth mentioning, and Gomez isn't a cinch to be the regular?

If he's not in center on March 31, and on merit, then the Twins waited seven weeks to make the worst deal possible.

Of course, Reusse positively draped is predictions in "ifs", but his argument is clear, yeah? If it isn't, I'll direct you here, where we discussed his freak-out in some detail. To be fair, though, the headline says it all--it was, "Waiting Game Works Perfectly...For the Mets."

Tell it to the Mets, fatty.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Twins Win Again; Bert Blyleven a Man of His Word

Scotty Baker didn't suck, and the bullpen did its job (Pat Neshek, who is The SubMariner and right-handed, is awesome having given up his 5th hit to left handers in 46 at bats. Have a seat Juan Rincon).

Bert Blyleven appeared on TV with his newly shaved head, per his promise to Johan Santana (who just got a nice write up in the City Pages last week). It should also be noted that Santana is a good looking man.

I have yet to find the video of the shaving, or even photos. I saw the shaving and the aftermath, and Trust me, dear reader(s) when I say these two things:

1. Santana was almost disturbingly gleeful as he shaved Bert's head. Did Bert wrong a young Johan in his Venezuelan village back in the mid-80's? Why so much joy in Bert's de-hairing?

2. Bert without his trademark 3/4" head stubble looks more intimidating. He looks like some 18th century Dutch pirate, who might drink rum with you, or kill you, fuck your eyeballs, and then use your skull to drink rum out of. Short hair Bert looked avuncular. No Hair Bert looks fucking dangerous.

(In researching Bert's new do, I found this blog, in which a couple of overly intelligent idiots liveblog Twins games. I like it!)

Until the Bert getting his head shaved shows up on YouTube, let us enjoy this clip that just recently showed up, in which Bert kids broadcast partner Dick Bremer about his bowling shirts.

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