Monday, February 08, 2010

A Lot of Frustrated Men Not Wearing Colts Uniforms

One of the things that struck me during the game (or the moments between the game) was that there was a certain tenor to a good chunk of the commercials. And that is of the quietly seething, frustrated man in a relationship with someone he doesn't seem to like very much, and for that reason, he deserves new kick-ass toys. I'm not the only one who noticed it.

Seriously Dodge Charger? You've a Dodge fucking Charger. You are a legendary brand and model. You've figured out how to make a muscle car that gets not horrible mileage? And in a minute long ad, there was 50 seconds of mopey/sad-sack/sociopath men with voiceovers about how they tolerate things that their girlfriends or wives do, and 10 seconds of jittery jumpcut editing on the fucking car. SHOW THE CAR, and stop complaining about your girlfriend's vampire shows. Don't like 'em? Don't watch 'em, fucking babies.

Also, yeah, the guy mishearing "Your tires or your wife" and booting his wife out of his car was just a wee bit troubling. Presumably the guys who actually threatened his life will make do with killing her instead. Nice work, dude. Seems to me you could have just as easily peeled away with your wife still in the car. Accessory to Murder for Bridgestone Tires!

The most direct though was the Flo TV spot called (nice and upfront) "Spineless", essentially berating men for not carrying tiny tv's whenever they are tasked with shopping with their wives. Are women across the country forcing their men to go shopping with them? I know this is a time-honored convention in commercials, but does it ever actually happen? If they are, men of the world, I say you should feel free to stand up for yourselves, or feel free to think, "You know what, she does stuff for me all the time, I think I will go shopping with her." But let's be clear here--going on the shopping trip because you've been promised a 3.5 inch, $250 tv screen is not standing up for yourself, or ingratiating yourself to anybody. It's made you kind of dick who is easily pacified. My fellow males, is this really any conversation you want to be a part of?

You taking a stand: "I'm not going shopping with you!"
Her: "You can bring your tiny TV."
You: "OK."

Sad, sad, sad. Those three companies have lost my business, even though I wasn't in the market for any of that shit anyway (seriously, tiny TV with a monthly fee?). I should say that it isn't just the weird anti-woman vibe; it's for assuming that I'd find that anti-woman vibe clever. Oh, boyfriend stuck shopping! You've been around our comic strip pages for about 80 years, and you are still fresh. Dagwood and Blondie for the digital era.


Jess said...

I was at the mall briefly early Sunday afternoon and noticed quite a few couples, which I thought was maybe a little odd. Still, none of those men appeared to be shooting hate rays at their significant others. But I suppose they could have been seething on the inside.

Also, thank you for writing this.

Andrew Wice said...

It's called Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

Hate crime!