Thursday, August 13, 2009

Party Poopers Get Celebration Canceled

The Single-A affliate of the Cleveland Indians, The Mahoning Valley Scrappers (nicely designed website, by the by--what ADD-riddled kid off his medication put that together?) had a great idea for a promotion. They were probably inspired by my local independent team, The St. Paul Saints, and their brilliant promotions like the Larry Craig Bobble Leg.

The promotions people of The Scrappers looked around for a disgraced politician to celebrate, and didn't have to look far: Former Democrat (kinda) Representative (OH) James Traficant is due to be released from prison. Why not celebrate observe his release with a slideshow?

But the seriously fun-lacking residents of Youngstown, OH had other ideas. General Manager Dave Smith says the reaction was not good: “We got flooded with e-mails and phone calls, and that forced us to reconsider it."

We don't have any qualms about celebrating (I mean observing) Jim Traficant. Here are some of our favorite quotes, courtesy of

A Nation that can discuss devil worship in our schools but cannot even mention God is a Nation that has lost both its sense of values and its sense of common sense.
This International Monetary Fund does not look like a loan program to me. It is starting to look like international welfare, and Japan is cashing the food stamps while they laugh all the way to the bank with our dollars.
Free trade my ascot, Mr. Speaker. This is a free ride and a free for all for China, who is gobbling up our national security secrets faster than the President can down a Big Mac and a box of fries. Think about that.
Check this out. Last month a woman gave birth on the Internet; and today two teenagers announced, through their attorney, no less, that they will surrender their virginity live on the Internet. Unbelievable. What is next? A late-term abortion? How about an on-line sacrifice to Satan, folks?
Beam me up.
I say it is time for these computer companies to shove their software up their hard drives live on the Internet.
Mr. Speaker, the White House will not get it until there is a six-foot syringe full of heroin shoved up the asset of some bureaucrat at the White House.


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