I Dislike Your Favorite Team

As a public service, we thought we would give the commentators of the Packer some new material about how much Brett Favre loves the Game. We already know he's a kid out there, and he's got the mentality of a linebacker, and (going back in time a little) that Mark Chmura is Brett Favre's best friend. We need (well, we don't need--the commentators need) new ways of describing Brett Favre's love of the game, his approach to the game. We are here to serve.

Brett Favre Loves the Game as much as a Zoo-Living Gorilla Loves his tire and kitten.

Brett Favre Loves Football like a retard in a Steinbeck novel loves his rabbits. Brett Favre will pet the game and name the game "George" and accidently kill the game with his over-enthusiastic hugging.

Brett Favre loves the game like a catamite loves his protector. If the NFL were an ancient Greek, Brett Favre would let it fuck him in the ass, happily.

Brett Favre plays the game like a crystal meth addict plays pinball at that seedy bar you promised yourself you weren't going to go to anymore, no matter how good their drink specials are.

Brett Favre loves this game too much to feed it roofies and dry hump it on its parent's couch. But he totally wants to.

The film "The Crush" starring Drew Barrymore and Cary Elwes was actually a metaphor for how Brett Favre feels about the Game. The famous line "I Love You, and YOU LOVE ME." was written by then quarterbacks coach Steve Mariucci, who admitted that it also symbolized his own relationship with Favre.

Brett Favre will kill anyone who suggests that there is something wrong with game. Because he loves it that much. Oh, sure, the game might cry out, "No, Brett, don't kill him! It's not worth it!" and then he'll kill that person anyway, and turn to the Game, and say, "Don't you get it? I did it for you. I DID IT FOR YOU!"

Brett Favre loves the game so much that if the NFL committed a murder, Brett Favre would take the fall.

Brett Favre is like a bonobo chimpanzee on X out there!

Brett Favre's best friend used to be Mark Chmura. Now his best friend is the game. He'd like the game to come to Earth as a person, so he could give it a sharp slap on the ass.

Brett Favre has dreams where he totally blows his load all over the game's face, and the game is into it.

Once, Brett Favre was in Spain, and he overheard some guy in a bar saying that American Football wasn't shit. That Soccer was the world's sport. Brett Favre killed that guy. And then his wife. And his children. And their pets. And the grandparents of their pets. That's how much Brett Favre loves the game.