Cam was brought in from the Chargers' 2006 offense to pump up the Dolphins pudding-esque attack. Shockingly, RB Ronnie Brown was leading the NFL in yards from scrimmage before he was injured beyond repair in Week 7. With QB Trent "Permanent Brain Damage" Green suffering permanent brain damage and WR Chris Chambers cleverly traded away midseason, the Dolphins will have the #1 draft pick next year.
Obviously, Cam never had a chance. Remember, Cam was the coordinator behind the 2006 Chargers 14-2 season. He called the Bumarooski, one of the most jaw-dropping playcalls in the history of professional football. It scored a TD.
I'm not an apologist for Cam, but consider Cam's Chargers versus Nerfneck Turner's Chargers. With the same personnel, last year's Chargers ran for 544 more yards, passed for 416 more yards and scored 80 more points.
Parcells and Ireland will likely hire Cowgirls assistant Head Coach Tony Sparano, last seen eating a sausage-and-peppers sub at the Bada-bing. I'd look for Parcells to continue to go "Balls To The Wall" as we head into free agency, jettisoning the journeymen who have called the Dolphins home for the last four years (20 wins, 44 losses).
German gay metal band Accept, creators of the 1984's anthemic "Balls To The Wall," explains: "We've always been interested in politics and in human rights and things like that, so a lot of the lyrics that we had in those days, and to the end actually, were dealing with human rights, for instance, and that's really what 'Balls To The Wall' is all about."The connection between the new Parcells regime and Accept's song are revealed in these lyrics:
"Build a wall with the bodies of the dead - and you're saved
Make the world scared - come on, show me the sign of victory
Sign of victory - sign of victory
You better watch the damned (God bless ya)
They're gonna break their chains (hey)
No, you can't stop them (God bless ya)
They're coming to get you
And then you'll get your
Balls to the wall, man
Balls to the wall."
4 comments:
If you google "Parcells Ball Wall" this is the first article that comes up, suggesting that Mr. Wice is the first to come up with this blindingly obvious in hindsight comparison.
Accept's lyrics are the easiest to understand of course, which may have baffled the professors of Football/80's German metal Connectivity.
If the nickname Cam-Cam sticks, he'll always have a job at the National Zoo, assuming he's willing to dress up like a female panda.
You are our prank monkey now, Cameron.
That said, it seems that Wice is saying that Cameron is another talented coordinator dissed because of his shoddy talent. I would have to agree. Can anyone name all of the Dolphins starters at QB this year alone? Trent, Cleo Lemon, Beck--is that it, or did some dude off the street end up playing in one?
1-15 is an awful record, no doubt. But this was an awful team. Was anyone surprised that they were as bad as they were, especially after the R-Brow went down, and the managment started trading away veteran talent?
Cam "Cam" Cam was brought in to rebuild the shit-stack left after Saban's defection.
Parcells and company will get a longer leash, based on rep.
Just curious though, what were you really looking for when you googled "Parcells Ball Wall?"
Andrew, let's leave that sleeping dog lie. In my pants.
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