Thursday, January 03, 2008

NFL Carnage Continues

The carnage is just beginning. We knew that. But after one busy day, we've been given another.

Least Shocking Fire: Mike Martz, who brought his high-flying, dependent on a great offensive line and an accurate QB to an offense that didn't really have either. Andrew has argued at great length how badly the front office of Detriot has fucked up their drafts. Clearly, the person at fault for this was Mike Martz who I believe has been in Detroit for all of 2 years. Martz didn't draft Rogers or Williams. He did make Mike Furrey and Shaun MacDonald free-agents to be, though. Furrey lead the league in receptions last year, and MacDonald caught like 8 TD's this year. To replace them, unfired Matt Millen has promised to draft 5 WR's next year. Clearly Mike Martz should have put the ball in the hands of super Running Backs Tatum Bell and Kevin Jones, who combined, almost had as good of a season as Barry Sanders would have.

I love this bit of the news: "According to various reports, Mike Martz could land with the San Francisco 49ers as a replacement for offensive coordinator Jim Hostler." Eat it, Hoss.

Big Tuna has brought in the architect of the current Dallas Franchise, Jeff Ireland, to help them recover. Can TO or Terry Glenn be far behind? Yes, they can be. Especially Owens.

In San Francisco, embattered leader Mike Nolan has agreed to a power-sharing arrangement with recently promoted 36-year old Management Uberkid Scot McCloughan. Sounds like Pakistan. Watch your ass, McCloughan! Make sure that nicely dressed 49'ers aide isn't a Raiders fan in disguise. Or vice versa.

The Ravens are looking at Jason Garrett to replace Brian Billick. Memo to the Ravens: Jason Garrett can't make mediocre WARRIOR Steve McNair good. Jason Garrett couldn't make Jason Garrett good. Get a real quarterback, and a real Offensive line, and a real Wide Receiving Corps, and I bet Jason Garrett will be quite successful. Of course, so would Billick, but never you mind, Baltimore Brain Trust.

The Chiefs Fired Four Coaches, not one of them named Herm Edwards. Charlie Joyner couldn't teach guys to catch? Really? Charlie Fucking Joyner? Look, it is a fact of life that wherever Herm Edwards goes, offense suffers. You hire him to improve a defense, not maintain an offense. You offset that by keeping Dick Vermiel's offensive coaches, which was the Chiefs did until today. But blaming coordinators for having Quarterbacks like Damon Huard and Brody Croyle, and back-up running backs like Priest "I hope My Head Stays On My Head" Holmes and Michael "I was pretty good 5 years ago" Bennett is bullshit. This was a management failure. A Huge One. Some idiot thought that as long as they had Larry Johnson healthy, it didn't matter who their QB was, and they were proved horribly wrong. And then LJ got hurt. I'm unconvinced of Herm Edwards' ability to show some balls on offense, or to manage a clock. But blaming Charlie Joyner for the lackluster play of the WR's is crazy. Especially when their best receiver was a rookie named Dwayne Bowe. A Rookie! Prior to him, the best WR in recent memory in KC? Eddie fucking Kennison.

Here's a prediction: the KC Chiefs will have the worst record in the AFC next year. Worse than the Dolphins, the Jets or even the Raiders. Bag it, Tag it.

2 comments:

Muumuuman said...

When Martz linked the words "Kitna" and "Starter" he must have been looking to get fired.

Andrew Wice said...

Nice round-up, Big BM.

Firing Martz is so typical of the Lions organization. Their defense is 31st in the league. Their GM is to "qualified" as Dick Cheney is to "compassionate."

So they fire the O-coordinator. That's funny, I don't recall thousands of fans chanting "Fire Mike Martz!" every Sunday.

No team deserves to be as bad as they are more than the Lions.