The New England Patriots dispatched the San Diego Chargers with the distracted air of a haughty emperor. Despite QB Brady's 3 INTs (two terrible decisions and one tip), the Patriots looked as assured during the AFC Championship as they did all season. Without league-best RB Tomlinson, the Chargers struggled with too many long third downs (25% conversion).
By contrast, the Patriots converted 54% of their third downs, largely due to the heroics of RB Kevin Faulk. Faulk was absolutely clutch swinging out of the backfied, with five of his eight receptions resulting in first downs. A forgotten man on a team of golden boys, Faulk's contribution here was much greater than the record-breaking Brady-Moss combination.A hidden key to the game was field position. The Chargers won the battle in the first quarter, enjoying their only lead of the game. From the second quarter forward, the Patriots averaged nearly a fifteen-yard advantage in starting position, which ended up being a 100 yard differential.
The Pats running game took over in the second half, as RB Maroney exploited the over-pursuing Chargers defense for 122 yards. He was especially successful running to his left behind LT Matt Light and LG Logan Mankins. The Patriots ran 31 times and passed 33 times, finding a run-pass equilibrium that eluded them in 2007 when they were nearly 40:60.
Statistics aside, this game was decided in the red zone. That's where coaching leadership distinguishes a winner like Bill Belicheat from a reptile like Nerfneck Turner (gross). In his unimpressive career as a head coach, Turner has always been quick to settle for kicking. The Patriots' incursions in the red zone produced 3 TDs and one uncharacteristic Brady INT. The Chargers opted for FGs instead.With nine minutes left in the 4th quarter, the Chargers drove to the Patriots' 36. They were down nine points, and Turner should have known that they had to score on the possession. Instead of playing with four downs in mind, they threw three lame balls and punted. They never touched the ball again.
Giants 23 Packers 20 (OT)
In a game that seemed pre-ordained to go to the Packers, the Giants out-played the hometown whack Pack starring Brett "American Hero" Favre. Nobody was more sure than the Packers faithful, who perhaps should have taken advantage of the G.I. Bill when it was available to them.
This game should have set up an epic Superbowl of Evil versus Good (Morlocks versus Children of the Light, Axis versus Allies, Cobra versus G.I. Joe, Snorks versus Smurfs, etc).
Instead, we get Frowny-Clowny Manning, who was clearly the better quarterback on the frozen cliche of Lambeau Field. Both teams in the Championship greatly exceeded expectations even in the inferior NFC; that the #5 seed is going to the Superbowl almost seems appropriate. The Giants deserve credit for their outstanding underdog win streak on the road.
The Giants came into Green Bay and executed their normal game plan. The Packers started the game with cute little plays that got them nowhere until WR Driver beat the Giants CB and inexplicably outran the entire defense down the sideline. Favre managed to find holes in the middle of the Giants zone, but the Pack couldn't sustain drives (10% conversion) due to their lack of a running game (28 yards).
The Giants held the ball for 40 minutes; although the Packers D disrupted the Giants they did not have an answer for WR Plaxico Burress, who scorched them for 154 yards on 11 catches. Whatever the answer is, it obviously isn't single coverage: his 14 yard average is an accurate marker of his effectiveness, as opposed to Driver's bodacious numbers that were skewed by his brilliant 90 yard tightrope walk.
Special teams kept the Packers in it, as conditions prevented long punts and kickoffs but did not prevent K Crosby from kicking 2/2 FGs.
In this grinding war of attrition, the Giants looked like the better team, delivering body blows in the running game. Despite the vicious cold, there were no turnovers until the 4th quarter when there were two on the same play. The biggest turnover in regulation was the turnover that wasn't: the Giants fumbled a midfield punt return with 2:30 to play in the 20-20 tie.
Jarrett Bush was in perfect position to recover for the Packers. All he had to do was fall on it and the Wisconsin magic would flow like so much beer wort, downstream to the Superbowl. Instead, he tried to pick the ball up in traffic and run with it, like a dumbass.
After the game, Bush admitted, "I should have fell on it [sic]."
The Pack received yet another gift when Giants bonedaddy K Tynes missed his second FG as time expired. Before the OT coin was in the air, I made this proclamation from my plush armchair: "If the Packers win the toss they should take the wind, not the ball. The Giants are deflated right now and can be forced to go 3 and out which would give the Packers great field position. Otherwise, the sputtering Packers offense will have regular field position and Favre has only passed for thirty-two yards and an interception in the 4th quarter."
We'll never know if my tactic would have worked, but we know what didn't work: Favre throwing into the wind on second and eight, late and high and behind his receiver. The fellating of Favre stopped with the audible sound of a cork ejecting from a bottleneck: *pop*.
The all-time interception king of the NFL did it in overtime of the NFC Championship game. Classic.
Plenty of chumps dragged out the stat that extended his NFL record to 18 straight postseason games with a TD pass. I haven't found anyone trotting out his INT records, so I had to dig for it myself. It turns out that The Greatest Quarterback In The History Of The NFL, Who Plays Like A Kid Out There, has amassed 28 INTS in 22 playoff games. More to the point, he has thrown sixteen interceptions in his last eight playoff games. He certainly does have a linebacker's mentality.
Superbowl Rematch
This is the twelfth time that a regular-season rematch will be featured in the Superbowl. The team that won the regular-season game has only won five of eleven Superbowl rematches. This season, the Patriots defeated the Giants 38-35 in Week 17.
Playoff Pick'Em
Injustice Norwood: 10 pts
Adw: 10 pts
Jess: 10 pts
L'il E: 10 pts
MMMan: 10 pts
Miwacar: 6 pts
Big BM: 1 pt
11 comments:
I don't think you can dump the Chargers red zone problems on Nerf Neck - the team was playing without LT. You know LT? Best RB in the league? Red Zone master? 15 of the teams 19 rushing tds and 19 of the teams 41 tds - nearly half of the teams TDs. Gates had 9, and he was banged up as was Rivers. You'd think given the injuries to every key player on thier offense that the Pats should have beaten the Bolts by, oh, let's say 52-7. Also, the Chargers punted because thier D was playing very well. They shut down Moss, rattled Brady, and kept Welker under wraps. Who was left to beat them? Faulk and Maroney.
So, I think I picked the Pack to win it all, now I pick the GIANTS because I'm a crazy MF.
I think the Chargers did a very good job, considering the injuries to their stars. It's worth noting that their O and D lines were intact, which opened some holes for Turner and kept the defense off Filippe Rivera.
But it's no accident that Belicheat goes for it on 4th down between the thirties and inside the ten, and Turner has the killer instincts of crusty underwear.
Trust me (and J. Norwood, for that matter) on this one: Nerfneck Turner sucks. He inherited one of the three most talented teams in the league. And they'll never win a Superbowl with Le Neck.
Of coarse he sucks, uncontroversialy, but muumuu accurately points out that Norv Turner has less culpability in the Chargers red zone woes than does one of the seventeen year olds that you 'woo' into bed. Assuming of coarse that their daddies don't have money.
And WoW!, what a 'great football mind' it takes to point out that their lines were intact. Boy, you must have really intellectually dominated the gentiles league in New Jersey as you were growing up while you were imagining what it would be like to play.
The facts that their quarterback had undergone surgery within the past week, the best RB in the last generation couldn't play, and the fact that the most dominating, game changing TE in the league was unable to perform... none of that suggests that it wasn't Norv's fault that SD lost?
Do you even know what football is?
Jesus Christ, if there isn't a god, you should be able to change your picks throughout your little 'post-season pick 'em' enough times that you can actually win.
Congrats, half-man. I hope it stops your soul from burning just long enough you realize you're almost alive.
I hope you realize how much effort it takes to keep a mean spirited half-hearted rant like that. It's what is known as craftsmanship. Bitch.
"Culpability" in the Chargers red zone can be wrapped around Turner's neck like an extra skin graft.
When playing against the best offense the league has ever seen, you can't trade field goals for touchdowns. Yet that is what Norv proposed to do. Just like he always did.
When the Patriots destroyed the Chargers 38-14 in week 2, the Chargers had all of their weapons.
Your eagerness to dismiss the importance of lineman is an ominous echo of your self-hatred. Justified, I'll wager. But don't let your self-hatred dominate you to the point where it begins to detract from the hatred you should feel for Nerf Turner, who took your Raiders who had been on a path to sullen mediocrity and somehow made them worse. Much worse. The Raiders suck, and are going to suck for years.
So cram it with walnuts, ugly.
You think you're hot shit but you're really cold diarrhea.
You're right, that was a lot of effort. Bitch tits.
Even though the media dumped on Norv for the Raiders downfall, he can't be pegged for that either (with the exception of the SB loss, where he figured he couldn't beat Gruden using Gruden's offense). The following year Gannon went down for good, while Rice and Brown were turning like 45. They've had to rebuild, which they have done poorly - but that was after Norv. The old lady in the track suit has a history of firing decent coaches (Shanahan) after one disappointing season.
That's great, except for the fact that factually almost nothing you said was correct. Callahan oversaw the the drubbing at the hands of the TB Grudens, and also had the misfortune of losing Gannon (which completely sank the ship). Norv is obviously a fucking horrific coach. I do think that Wice is wrong to lay the blame on Turner for lack of effectiveness in the RZ. The loss of LT and Gates (two of the greatest ever at the two most important RZ scoring position {save QB}). Actually I think Norv was somewhat culpable, in that he allowed the kickoffs to be handled by a guy with the leg strength of a little girl, and the all important fact that he can suck the will and passion of any carbon based lifeform by merely looking at it.
But I'm contractually obliged to disagree with Andy at every opportunity. So there we are.
Besides the past decade of Raider football has had more success than has ever been experienced by the Motor City Kitties, so step off.
Whoa -- you have a contract?
This is what you knuckle-bones are missing: when you get into the red zone against a team like the Patriots, you have to play with all four downs in mind because kicking a field goal is not an option.
More to my point, Nerf's decision to punt from the 40 with 9 minutes in the game (and down nine points) was a typical loser decision. The sort of loser decision which he always makes which is why his winning percentage is so losing.
Plus that neck, man. Gross.
The Chargers have excellent backups at the skill positions who could start on most teams. Those backups got them into scoring position five times in the game. Injuries are part of football, and can't be blamed in a loss.
"I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs. Some chinaman took them from me in Korea. But I went out and achieved anyway."
-- Jeffrey Lebowski, the Larger
Here's another writer, Gregg Easterbrook of ESPN, repeating what I've written. Note that this article was written after I posted mine. He explains the point with more patience and kindness than I have for you Nerfneck apologists:
"Not only did Norv Turner order the silliest punt ever, passively conceding a Super Bowl trip, but he also made mincing fraidycat calls throughout the game. Facing the highest-scoring team in football history, Turner punted three times inside New England territory -- from the Flying Elvii 36, 41 and 49. Turner ordered a punt on fourth-and-inches from the San Diego 33, and if you don't think your offense can gain a few inches, why bother to have the guys suit up? Plus, Turner opted for field goals from the New England 5-, 6- and 8-yard lines. You're playing the highest-scoring team in history -- a team whose season-low output was 20 points, and that was in a 27-mph wind. You're going to have to score a lot of points to defeat the highest-scoring team ever. Yet three times inside the New England 10, Turner shrugged and took the field goal, and three times inside New England territory Turner didn't even try to score, passively booming a punt. Attempting to defeat a 17-0 team, the Chargers took no risks and never went for it on fourth down."
Further, he identifies that 4th quarter punt as the worst coaching decision of the season, which I could be persuaded to agree with:
"Single Worst Play of the Season -- So Far: You're playing the highest-scoring team in football history; you're trailing by more than a touchdown with 9:21 remaining in the AFC Championship Game; and you're in New England territory on the Patriots' 36 -- you cannot seriously be sending in the punting team! I don't care if it's fourth-and-goal from the 36! You must score on this possession or the game is over. A fourth-quarter punt inside the territory of the highest-scoring team ever, when trailing by two scores, could well be the single worst coaching decision in NFL history. Norv Turner, with one game remaining, you are guilty of the Single Worst Play of the Season -- So Far."
Sorry Norwood, I am stupid and forgot about all about Callahan - he's still doing great at Nebraska right? So Norv coached Ranny Maw - nice work Nerf Neck!
Perhaps Norv makes a better offensive coodinator(did well for Dallas). Hind-sight being 20-20, his decision to punt was the wrong one. But remember before the punt Rivers went 0-3 in the air leaving 3rd and 10. The previous 3 drives from NE netted 2 INTS. Before the last drive NE's third down efficiency was 33%. The third down conversions (four of them) by Faulk and Maroney were incredible plays. NE managed to eat 9:13 while only moving the ball 66 yards. Had Faulk not made that play the Charges get the ball with time outs and ~ 7:00 on the clock.
Now dumbest call of the game was the outside run on 3rd and one on the NE four that lost 2 yards (followed by FG). For that play call, with LT I say yes(with the option to throw), for M. Turner - NO. In the words of Madden, he shoulda sent him up the A-hole.
I want to take my scorched earth policy against Turner all the way to the sea.
He was called a genius for leading the Cowboys offense that featured the best QB, RB and WR in the game, as well as one of the most dominant offensive lines in NFL history. Most of this team was assembled thanks to the Vikes-Cowboys trade that garnered multiple players for the Vikings, all named Herschel Walker.
I didn't spring from the womb hating Nerfneck. I welcomed him and his gross neck when he took over the Redskins, even though he was a former Cowboy.
But his general strategy, in-game tactics, spastic tantrums, horrid playcalling and buck-passing postgame press conferences have made me hate him.
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