Sunday, January 13, 2008

NFL Playoffs Round Up

Patriots beat Jaguars 31-20. Let the fellating of Tom Brady begin continue! I mean the press corp fellation, not the super-model/actress fellation, though that will almost certainly continue as well. It was an impressive game from Brady, who took what the defense gave him, and completed short passes that kept drives alive. And yeah, fine, it was a record completion percentage. The Jags were in this game almost until the end though, and one reason they were is that Jacksonville clearly had a game plan for beating the old Patriots Defense. With better players, it might have worked. I imagine both the Colts and the Chargers were taking notes on the game, and the Colts at least would have a good chance to score a lot of points on that Patriots defense.

Also, I would have thought there would be more room in those articles to give more than a little lip service to Lawrence Maroney, who did have an impressive game.


Green Bay beat Seattle 42-20. Holy Shit, does Brett Favre love this game? He LOVES this game! He's like a kid out there! He's throwing snowballs! If Brett Favre could, he'd rub himself up against this game--that's how much he loves it! Brett Favre spontaneously orgasms whenever the Lambeau Field PA plays "Bang on the Drum All Day"--that's how much he loves this game! How much does he love it? As much as a retarded bonobo chimpanzee loves masturbating--that's a lot of love.

Seriously though, the Packers looked good this afternoon--after going down 14-0 (thanks in no small part to a couple of Ryan Grant fumbles), they came back and fucking dominated. The defense the so thoroughly confused the Washington Drunken Savages offense got caught time and time again over pursuing on the run, and leaving themselves vulnerable on blitzes that didn't work.

Not to beat a dead horse, but exactly why does it take the AP reporter in this story fourteen (fourteen!) paragraphs to mention Ryan Grant's Packer post-season record 201 yards and 3 Touchdowns? But hey, let's hear more about the snowball fight between Favre and Driver! "'He turns around, packs one and hits me in the face. Good thing it hit my face mask, it might have hit my tooth or something,' he said."

Does Brett Favre only have one tooth?

This team looks awfully good in a NFC that is wide open.

3 comments:

Andrew Wice said...

Agree with your assessments, except for one thing.

The Seahawks defense didn't beat the Redskins by confusing them. Their four-man defensive front physically dominated the Redskins five-man O-Line.

The Redskins patchwork line, featuring nobody but Samuels who was originally projected to start, could not compete.

Refurbishing that line will be the #1 priority of the offseason, and will require a commitment of both draft picks and free agent pick-ups.

Anonymous said...

Totally agree on how the media overdoes the Favre love. But, in his defense, he said he was worried that Driver's snowball would "chip" his tooth. Not hit. If you watch the video of his press conference, it's very clear. They just misquoted him.

Jerious Norwood said...

This is exactly the kind of overweight commentary that we need in order to ensure that the reporting on this site is accurate and non biased. If only the 'real' media would be so accountable.

Oh, and the Drunken Savages lost because the other worldly spirit of a fallen teammate couldn't overcome the senility of their head coach combined with an overall lack of talent. Though it is particularly gratifying to watch Wice frantically search for excuses. I know, I know... if the right side of their O-line was in tact, there was nothing stopping them. Its not like they were playing a team that would simply give up at the first sign of bad weather. It was, after all, I noble defeat.