I Dislike Your Favorite Team

I would have thought today to be a rather quiet day in sports--waiting with bated breath for the NFL Playoffs to resume, and maybe some college hoops. Instead, baseball and the NBA are sneaking into the picture for no real good reason.

Possibly nothing stranger than this: The NBA has ruled that the Heat and the Hawks have to replay the last 52 seconds or so of a game. Why? Because Shaq had been told he had fouled out when he hadn't. The game went into overtime, and the Hawks won. The Hawks have lost a win, and the Heat have a chance to pick up a game, to get within pissing distance of 10 wins. So who does this decision hurt? The Hawks, certainly. But also people who like watching decent basketball. Making people watch an extra minute of these two teams seems awfully mean. (How bad is the East? The Hawks lost a win, and have dropped 2 games below .500 (for now) and are still the 8th place team in the East. Ewww.)

The last time this happened, it was 1982! Speaking of things that have happened decades ago--you might think the MLB has had an investigation branch to its organization for at least that long. You thought wrong! But, I have to say, when you need to start a new a department in your sport, and it is run by ex-cops and ex-FBI field agents, you seem to be admitting that your sport is all sorts of fucked up. Good Luck, MLB. Way to react quickly to the scandal consuming your sport. Reacting after 15 to 20 years of abuse counts as "quickly", right?

Hey, speaking of cheaters getting punished--Mike Cameron just signed a 1 year, $7 million deal with the Brewers, even though he isn't allowed to play for the first 25 games of the season. Why isn't he allowed to play? Depends who you ask. The MLB says they found an illegal "stimulant" in Cameron's bloodstream. He says a perfectly legal supplement was tainted. Gosh, why would a rapidly aging 35 year old center fielder lie about his drug/vitamin regimen? Did I forget to mention that this was Cameron's second time getting caught?

This article about Johan Santana and where he may end up is full of nothing. However, I do like the passage in which Mets GM Omar Minaya was pelted with questions about getting Santana--from kids in Israel. It's a global Jewish economy. Or more accurately, Jews live in New York, and Tel Aviv, and they like the Mets. the Yankees are a little too goy, I guess. I may have misspelled "gay" just then. Oh, SNAP.

Finally: Do not, under any circumstances, fuck Glen Rice's wife. If you do, do not listen to R. Kelly and Hide in the Closet. Glen will find you, and beat you down. I love this story--it's like unto a bad sitcom plot, and yet so many details are left unsaid. Why did Glen go to his "estranged" wife's home? How did he manage to be there right when she was presumably fucking one Alberto Perez? Why did Alberto hide in the closet? Did he really have no time to gather his clothes and go out the back door or a window? Did he consider hiding under the bed? Did Glen Rice really average 18 points a game for his career? That's spectacular!