Monday, November 27, 2006

Cold November Rain

Whither the New York Football Giants? The upcoming Cowboys at Giants game is the first true make-or-break game of the year. Thus to all tyrants: the Giants started November with a 6-3 record, command of the division, and the league's leading rusher. Their three-game dump (with an average score of 14-29) has brought them back to the hard, frozen ground of reality.

The playoffs will be down the drain if they lose to the Cowboys. What's more, their hilarious meltdown vs. TN (24 points in under 10 minutes to the 27th ranked offense in the NFL) has destroyed the facade of respect and trust between coach, ownership and players.

According to, an unnamed "high ranking" Giants official (Costanza?) was thus quoted: "As far as Tom [Coughlin] goes, if we keep losing, if it spirals downward, you will have a mutiny here with the players. A lot of men can lead. Very few can inspire. He can't inspire these guys." [emphasis added].

This is after blasts from Tiki Barber and Jeremy Shockey in the national media. Reportedly, they are merely representing all the other players who are frightened to publicly speak out. Coughlin has angrily responded (in the media) that players shouldn't air their greivances in the media, for his "door is always open."

Don't let it hit you on the way out, coach.

Meanwhile, Horseface Junior's passer rating has plummeted to 52.9 for the month of November (following a steady decline: September he was rated 95.5, October was 82.6). Overrall he is ranked 24th in passer rating but you can expect that number to drop. He had 3 TDs and 7 INTs in November. He can see his breath but not cornerbacks: Manning leads the NFC in interceptions. That's hot!

The Giants held a players-only meeting on Monday. Perhaps they were discussing the further remarks of the unnamed Giants official: "There is an uprising here, lot of heat now ... I believe [Manning] is regressing. He has a coordinator (John Hufnagel) who just calls plays but does not have a feel for the game. He does not set things up with his play-calling. He has no scheme in his play-calling. Tom [Coughlin] is supposed to be an offensive coach. Tom has to be the head coach in some of these situations and take over the calls. He is not doing that. Sure, there is pressure that goes with Eli being the first pick. It's warranted. But, geez, help him out. That goes back to the coaching staff. So does starting a game 21-0, being on a mission and then being relaxed. We definitely relaxed. That is coaching."

I believe U.S. Poet Laureate Axl Rose sang it best:

"When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain."

Tough Guy Coughlin was hired to whip the Giants (a bunch of lazy prima donnas) into shape, old-school style. Looks like he failed. Dress warmly, old fella. Gonna be a cold and lonely winter.

And yes, that really is a picture of Axl Rose.


Zach Landres-Schnur said...

"don't cry" woulda worked for the giants latest debacle too.

Jerious Norwood said...

How 'bout 'My World'? Truely a transcendant work.

'You wan'da step into my world
It's a sociopsychotic state of bliss
You've been delayed in the real world
How many times have you hit and missed?'

Badcock said...

Those songs don't do tie back to the "November" theme of the column, but I love you because you guys are trying.

What song sums up the Raiders season?

I think it would be "Party All the Time" by Eddie Murphy.

Or, if this is strictly GnR, the Raiders season is obviously "One in a Million."