I hope I get eight of these statues for Chanukkah this year. Beats the hell out of gold foil-wrapped chocolate. This is with a tip of the hat to Big Blue, and a knowing wink that the Redskins are back in the Superbowl hunt.

God's All Star Statues

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[top right] Ice Hockey Jesus takes one in the uglies and looks for the penalty. Good thing he's only half-man or he'd be twice as swollen tomorrow.

[center] Basketball Jesus posts up! And he's totally fouling to make it happen, which means he learned from the last time he was "posted up."

[bottom right] Misdemeanors While one child distracts the Savior, the other sneaks up with a baseball bat. They help Jesus turn the other cheek ... into hamburger!

[bottom left] Soccer Jesus initiates the children into the world of fussball by pushing them down in the grass and forcing them to perform simultaneous fellatio upon him.

[top left] Football Jesus looks on with devilish interest as Sean Taylor returns a blocked field goal to set up a "miracle" win for the Washington Redskins