Thursday, June 29, 2006

Why Italians Fall Down

As blogger Fish has pointed out to me, a site exists that posts interesting statistics on World Cup Soccer. How many tantrums? How many dives? How many players not singing their National Anthem? And big surprise - who dives the most? Italy.

I have thought about the issue and have come up with a few theories.

Look at Italy from space. It looks like a giant boot slipping on the Mediterranean Sea. How can we persecute the Italians for falling when thier entire country is slipping on the Med?

Quantum Gravity
The hypothetical gravitino is the supersymetric partner of the hypothetical gravitron. I assume that if there are gravitrons and gravitrinos, the Italians are more effected by the gravitrino. As such, when they contact non-Italian matter gravitron/gravitrino interactions cause a fissue in the space-time-gravity continuum and the Italian is pulled toward the earth.

Persistant Sexual Arousal Syndrome
Perhaps mere contact by another human being aggravates thier condition causing spontaneous orgasm, which causes the fall.

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