Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Day 12 Wrap Up

Ecuador 0, Germany 3 I doubted these Germans coming in, as did most Germans, but they are beginning to show some serious funk out there on the pitch. The good kind of funk, too. Parliament Funk, but with a serious dose of Teutonic stoicism, precision passing, and general ill humor. Tough draw for an a very off-and-on Swedish team.

Costa Rica vs. Poland. I just realized that I have no idea what happened in this game. Haven't given it a thought. Onward! Just kidding. We report even the shit games that no one cares about. Costa Rica 1, Poland 2. Hey Poland, way to come through when it no longer matters. The dead pope is pissed at you guys. As is character actor Jon Voight, who is such a master of Method acting he still thinks he is the Pope. He was masterful.

Sweden 2, England 2. Very fun game, if somewhat ugly play at times. Joe Cole's goal was an amazing, twisty roller coaster of a shot, but it should be noted that the Swedish goalie was caught off his line, and Cole got an assist from a seriously pussified clearance by the Swedish defense. Rooney was energetic, if not particularly effective. I have a theory about Michael Owen--he's an alien from a planet with variable gravity. It explains why at times he seems to float across the pitch with superhuman speed & grace, and the next minute he can wrench his own knee by doing absolutely nothing. I think Owen might be done for the tournament. England must get better at their set piece defense, or they are going home real early. That said, Allback's goal was still a flick header beauty. England gets Ecuador in the next round, Sweden gets Germany.

Paraguay 2, Trinidad and Tobago 0. Didn't watch much of this game (why would I?) but I have to imagine T&T's coach giving the lads an inspired speech about shutting out Paraguay, scoring a lot of goals, and seeing what happens. We still have a chance, lads! and all that. And then they score an own goal. Ouch. Thanks for playing, tiny pretty shitty countries. You did better than anyone thought you would.

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