Thursday, June 15, 2006

Day 7 Wrap-up & a New Round of 16 Participant

So, by the end of the first game, we had Group A's next rounders sorted and we even learned a little cultural stuff about them. Right? Germany and Ecuador will play to figure out who gets the top spot in the group.

Game 19: England vs. Trinidad vs. Tobago
The result was pretty close to what I predicted, but England isn't making any one quake in their boots yet. They still looked off most of the game. I found myself agreeing with Marcelo Balboa (uncomfy feeling) that England started to look dominant about the same time T&T started to look like they were running out of gas. Aaron Lennon looked good for England, and we got to see Pub Thug Wayne Rooney running around on the pitch, like the Homicidal Hobbit he is. Still, it took until the last 10 minutes of the game for England to score. Not impressive, but they got the job done. So England will advance no matter what the result with Sweden later on.

Game 20: Sweden vs. Paraguay
Paraguay's defense has to feel a bit deflated here. They scored the one goal that beat them against England, and they shut out Sweden for about 90 minutes. And then a cross into the box, Allback heads it back across, apparently to no one, until a streaking underwear model by the Name of Freddie shows up and powers it past the keeper on the header. That's him over there. Hey, we're not Abercrombie and Fitch, but we can do a little homoeroticism on occasion. Especially Garwood, after a few Long Island Ice Teas. Sweden, like England seems determined to make advancement as difficult as possible for them. They have 3 points now. Trinidid and Tobago have 1. Both of their opponents in the next game won't have much to play for. Possibly, a very interesting finish to this round.

So, Group B isn't totally set, but we do have a new 2nd Round participant: give it up for a very lackluster England!

Fun Facts About Britian:

1. Awesome Civil Wars. I think it is a toss up, frankly, between two wars. The The War of the Roses, an off and on 15th century war of succession between the House of York led by powerful midfielder Edmund of Langley, and the House of Lancaster, headed up by the gutsy, Beckenbaueresque defense helmed by John of Gaunt. 30 years to decide which cousin was next to be garroted. Great Stuff. The English Civil War, a couple of hundred years later, was essentially a war between Parliament and the King, with a good chunk of religious hatred thrown in. Led to rise of overall dickbag Oliver Cromwell. Also led to his death, of course, and pansy ass Charles II getting to fuck whoever he wanted for a couple of years.

2. Bloody Filthy Imperialists. Haughty, worldwide assholes for a solid 200 years or so. They now tend to tut-tut that sort of thing, but there's a reason English is spoken in funny accents all over the world (including Alabama) and it's the British. If they hadn't been such land-grubbing, genocidal assholes, we might be rooting for the Iroquois in this year's Cup. Which would have been sweet. Of course, without their impoerialism, we probably wouldn't have a World Cup, either. Umm. Tough call there.

3. Sir Isaac Newton. Along with German Johannes Kepler, encapsulated the budding scientific movement and the old superstitions of the past. His work on optics and gravity were groundbreaking. Less well known was his borderline obsession with alchemy, which was basically rudimentary, overly romanticized chemistry. Engaged in a fruitless and almost lifelong pissing match with famed German mathematician Gottfried Leibnitz over who had invented calculus. Believed to be a lifelong virgin. If you've got about 6 months to spare, I highly recommend the trilogy Neal Stephenson wrote about Newton, the Civil War and of course, Jack Shaftoe, King of the Vagabonds.

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