Saturday, September 02, 2006

Nice face, sissy!

Can't any of you sissies come up with anything to defend your favorite NFL team? Come on now, this is the only sport that matters. I know that my team will win the Superbowl, even though we lack a punter, place-kicker and real starting QB.

I'm about to reveal my preseason picks of the year. This shit will blow the roof off the tiny shack you live in. But I don't want to start talking shit until some other freaks at least show the initiative to try.

Raiders fans, just because you know your team sucks doesn't mean you can sit back and take it. That right is reserved for female Raiders fans under the age of 13.

All other fans of shitty teams that I have made fun of: this is your only chance to fight back. Once the season starts, Kitna or Brooks or what-have-you ain't gonna help. Make your point now.

Superbowl contending teams (Pats, Steelers, Broncos & Seahawks, Panthers, Redskins), why don't you start to shout your shit?

Fingernail-shitting faggot fans of Dallas, why don't you respond to my inflamatory language? Is it because you are so busy digging the precious fingernails out of your own feces? Come on, you got TO. You're America's team. What could go wrong?


The Fan's Attic said...

The 49ers are going to surprise the entire NFC West this year. I hear Alex Smith's hands have grown in the last year and he will finally be able to grip the ball. Smith's passing will be all world with the addition of freak of nature Vernon Davis and Antonio Bryant. And, now Frank Gore has made it more than one season without a knee injury and he will be the #1 option in the backfield. The offense will be threatening under Smith and Coach Nolan. The defense will prove everybody wrong and the youth will step up. The 49ers will shock the Seahawks (nee Seachickens) and win the division.

How's that?

Badcock said...

Deluded ... very deluded. But at least you're trying. If a 49ers fan can cough up some dignity, fans of real NFL teams should be able to pump out some propaganda.

Big Blue Monkey said...

The Vikings are a strong defensive team? That sounding weird to you is the least of your troubles. You've clearly gone delusional. Get yourself some help soon, before you start discussing the power running game of Chester Taylor, or the talented WR receiving corps.

The Fan's Attic said...

it was tough to write that with a straight face.