I Dislike Your Favorite Team

Any evil organization worth it's salt needs a commie-nazi, and who better than Manfred Ewald? Ewald was the team doctor responsible for the East German doping program that "provided" Oral-Turinabol to unsuspecting female athletes. Ewald, who died in 2002, was a member of the Hitler Youth and later a Nazi. He joined the GDR Communist Party's central committee in 1963 and took over the country's Olympic program the following year. He was convicted in 2000 of being "the driving force" behind a program that gave steroids to girls as young as 11, who were told they were taking vitamins. East Germany won 160 gold medals during Ewald's tenure - including 40 at the 1976 Montreal Games alone.

It was in Montreal where American swimmer Shirley Babashoff earned herself the nickname "Surly Shirley" for charging that the East Germans were taking steroids. After evidently commenting to an East German coach about the deep husky voices of the Germans, Herr Coachenfuhrer responded: "We have come to swim, not to sing."

He's a commie, a nazi, and he forced pre-adolescent females to take male hormones for the good of the homeland. He destroyed the lives of many young girls (including Heidi Kreiger, a track and field athlete so traumatised by the drug regimen that she became Andreas Kreiger in 1997) and he also may have had an affect on my own budding sexuality (check out the sexy bulge and the mustache on Inga - ooh lah lah). For both his truly heinous crimes, not to mention my troubling engorged clitoris fetish, let us say: Manfred Ewald Uber Alles!