Thursday, September 14, 2006

The Sports Legion of Doom

So, you know, a punter stabs a fellow punter in the leg. And photos posted by hazers suggest that jock chicks get drunk as a way of bonding. And, some racecar driver suggests that totally cute Danica Patrick is more aggressive when she's having her period.

We can point to jocks behaving poorly, almost day in and day out. But what about L.T. using coke as a performance enhancer? What about Marge Fucking Schott? Bob Huggins not graduating a single player? Bad behavior is part and parcel of being 20 years old and having a shitload of cash. It is also being totally part of coaching those young men. Bad people do bad things. But who is the worst? Who's the Lex Luthor of Sports? Who is just the Black Manta of Sports? Who is the Solomon Grundy of Sports? Who makes up the worst 13 or so worst people in sports history?

Sure, we'll let the Good Guys at Deadspin have their really (truly) fucking awesome Hall of Fame. Let's have us a Legion of Doom, who live in the Hall of Doom, and all that good shit. I'm throwing the gauntlet down. Worst people ever in sports. Racists, cheapskates, murderers, whatever. Let's figure it out. Fellow contributors, you should post your nominees under: "Legion of Doom Nominee: xxx". Commenters, put your nominees in this spot, and your reasons why he or she should be in the Legion of Doom, and the good folks here at I Dislike Your Favorite Team will research your pick. Eventually, we'll get to a final 13 people who were the worst people ever involved in professional or collegiate sports. Let's make this happen, people!

UPDATE: Holy fucking shit. You people rock. News here: Update on the Legion!


JTS said...

In my mind, this discussion has to begin and end with Terrell Owens. I shouldn't even have to list the reasons, but this is a guy who has destroyed two franchises. While the Eagles look to be on the mend (and quick) from last year's debacle, everyone seems to forget that before he threw McNabb under a bus, speaking in the parlance of our times, this douche bag had the nerve to call his old quarterback gay, and ended up becoming the straw that broke the back of the 49ers dynasty. Having said all that, I almost feel bad nominating him because he has to have some sort of emotional problems or something to act the way he does. I mean, he has to, right? Please tell me normal people don't act like that.

Rich Uncle Skeleton said...

I know it's old school, but Ty Cobb's gotta be on there. OJ too, obviously

k-train said...

this can't get far w/o kobe "black mamba" bryant getting a vote. the man is just hateful. in addition to alienating the most loveable person in basketball (shaq) and forcibly bringing the demise of the lakers so he could jack up more shots, he corn-holed some white chick in colorado just b/c he could. did you see what he did to mike miller? he also hates his parents, and, most likely, you and me.

Anonymous said...

Larry Johnson of the Chiefs is just a big piece of trash. He beats up on defenders on the field, and then beats up on women off the field. He is known to have herpes, and the self proclaimed "King Pink" (named that due to his preference of white women) still is out trying to use his bad boy image to spread his sickness. It's time to take the diapers off LJ.

JT said...

I wish he'd done more than one despicable thing, but if he had been in the league longer, Rae Carruth has to make it in, for taking the trouble of having his pregnant wife killed because he didn't want a kid, and being a truly mediocre WR.

Kristine said...

I would undeniably have to say the t-ball coach, 29-year-old Mark R. Downs Jr. for offering to pay one of his T-ballers...and 8-year-old, mind you, to bean his other player, a 9-year-old with autism, during warm ups of a 2005 playoff game so that he didn't have to play the autistic kid. Honestly, I can't even beging to dig through all of the levels on which this is wrong, pathetic, [insert appropriate adjective here].

Skeezer said...

Leonard "i'm good to drive" Little

Anonymous said...

I'd have to say Al Davis for being such a control-freak jerk that the Raiders are just dying on the vine. Or, maybe Jerry Jones. Not only because he's got the scariest eye-job in all of sports, perhaps the world, but because he values money more than a productive team. Why else would he bring the train-wreck known as T.O. to Dallas?

mikeski said...

Barry Bonds. I mean, come on.

Also, Latrell Sprewell. Brought new meaning to "choking" in the sports-related context, turned down millions of dollars that no doubt would've, indeed, fed his family (and many other families), made a commercial describing himself as the American Dream.

Anonymous said...

Former New York Giants safety Tito Wooten. If you think Rae Carruth was bad, consider that Tito used to beat his GF up so badly and frequently she ended up committing suicide.

Anonymous said...

Did someone say "O.J."? The guy committed double homicide with his bare hands. Worse yet, he was acquitted in one of the worst miscarriages of justice since the Republicans took over control of the South. Plus, he beat women on a regular basis. He has got to make it, even if it is just by the Veterans Committee for his lifetime achievements.

The Angry Rant said...

How about an all-ecompassing nomination for all those prima donna assholes who wouldn't play for a particular team because (a) it sucked at the time and they were too chicken-shit to be the leader that turned it around, (b) they thought they deserved more money than they were offered, or (c) undue outside influence? In that vein, I nominate:

John Elway (Colts) - (a).
Eric Lindros (Nordiques) - (a) and (b).
Chris Pronger (Oilers) - (c) ("My wife said I can't come out and play anymore.")
J D Drew (Phillies) - (a), (b), AND he's a fucking hypocondriac wimp. Suck it up and play, J D, before I send Jack Youngblood over to kick your ass.
Eli Manning (Chargers) - (c) ("My daddy said so.")

Anonymous said...

Brett Myers. Sure domestic abuse is all to common in sports, but to beat his wife in public? Quality.

Anonymous said...

Did I miss it, or has nobody mentioned the worst of them all, the giant-headed, BALCO-conspiring, memorabilia-guy shafting, mistress-mansion-buying, tax-dodging, media-eschewing, gimpy-left-field fielding, hell of a guy named Barry Bonds?

B Teezy said...

Steve Francis, for contributing to the downfall of basketball in the Pacific Northwest.

Duke University.....just because

Ruben Patterson

Reggie Evans

Kwame Brown

Deion Sanders

all the coked-out Dallas Cowboys

Dirty Sanchez said...

Uhh...John Rocker anyone?

Matt said...

I vote for Albert Belle.

vitaminj said...

He's not professional, but what about the hockey dad who killed the other dad on the ice?

The Last Unitard said...

Coach K.

Nobody else come close. The man just oozes malevolence. He is evil incarnate. He is, quite possibly, the antichrist. Remember when he hurt his hip back in the 90's? It was bullshit. He had merely run out of fresh orphan souls. And he couldn't trust that pantywaste Wojo to re-up for him. He had to scour orphanages around the globe himself for souls to consume. Have you ever seen his hair? It doesn't move. Ever. Not in 25 years. Evil.

jrob said...

two words: eddie sutton.
he had his son cheat on standardized tests for uk players who were then banned from ncaa div1 play. he was practically run out of the state of kentucky on his drunk driving record alone. he somehow secures his son a tenure at ok state on his way to yet another dui that he tried to deny at first.
class act. great role model for college players everywhere.

Chamomiles Davis said...

I would nominate anyone who hit 50 or more home runs in a season after the age of 30 from 1996 to the present.

Packman said...

Don't forget Bill Romanowski. That's one bad dude.

PStearns said...

Can I get some love, or hate would be more appropriate, for two of the greatest running backs in college history, Maurice Clarrett and Lawrence Philips? From driving over kids to driving with weapons of mass destruction these guys are definitely superstars in the Legion of Doom.

Jim Kelly Will Kick Your Ass said...

Leonard Little - he killed someone while driving drunk and then got another DUI 18 months later. He is a piece of shit.

TheBuddha said...

Yea's and Nay's

Eric Lindros: Basically killed two franchises before he was 21 (Sault St. Marie Greyhounds and Quebec Nordiques) while asking to be traded, and ended up almost killing a teammate's career by getting him traded because he slept with the teammate's wife (Rod Brind'Amour). Asswipe all around

Martin Brodeur:
Cheated on his wife with his wife's sister. Also, he's a frog. I hate frogs.

Michael Westbrook:
Beat up Stephen Davis in front of TV crew.

Rae Carruth:
Decided a hired hitman would be a better option than a coat hanger to get rid of his unwanted child.

Dr. J:
Denied, Denied, Denied the existence of an illegitimate daughter until she reached the semifinals of a Grand Slam event.

Leonard Little:
Has run over more people than the Houston ligth rail.

Graham James:
Junior hockey coach who molested a bunch of his players, including Sheldon Kennedy of the bruins.

Marcus Vick:
"Little Mexico" likes three things: Drunk underage girls, Guns, and stopming on player's calves (and he's not alone.)

Barry Bonds:
I don't consider anyone who is clinically insane and also has the maturity/head to body ratio of an 18 month old to be eligible for total and complete prick distinction.

Maurice Clarett:
See above. The dude's insane, though he does love "gettin his Goose on," which just adds to his gravy points.

Chris Pronger:
Had to leave Edmonton because he impregnated the female beat reporter, NOT because his wife had him whipped. Actually, he is pretty shitty.

Devin McCullen said...

Some old school ones:

Andrew Freedman. Owned the Giants back around 1900. Bill James described him as "George Steinbrenner on Quaaludes". Constantly fought with his players, causing HoFer Amos Rusie to retire mid-career, tried to stage a coup to take over the league.

Hal Chase. Threw baseball games for years and years, encouraged others to do the same, and was more responsible than anyone for the whole mess that wound up in the Black Sox Scandal. Which reminds me, Chick Gandil and Charlie Comiskey too.

Rogers Hornsby. As a manager, hated so much by the players on the Browns that they bought the owner a trophy when Hornsby was fired. Then in Cincy, the players had to go the owner to get him to stop pissing in the shower.

Dick Allen. Not as bad as his rep in some places, but should be considered.

Cap Anson. More representative of his times than anything else, but he was still loud and obnoxious about not wanting to play against black players.

Jack Molinas. Tossed from the NBA for throwing games, then started a college point-shaving ring. That scandal got Connie Hawkins, Roger Brown and Doug Moe unfairly barred from the NBA for years.

John Brisker and Warren Jabali. The meanest men in the ABA. Think about that. Jabali once stomped on the head of a player down on the floor.

Charlie Finley, Bobby Knight, George Steinbrenner....

I can't recall his name, but the sick agent/pedophile who NHL player Mike Danton went to jail for trying to hire a hitman to shoot.

Drib said...

Ty Cobb

J.J. Gittes said...

Wayne Rooney. Jack Tatum (though secretly in awe of him). Ryan Leaf. Cory Petero (Pop Warner douche dad).

ReadyT said...

The Killers:
Ray Lewis
Ray Carruth

Joe Theisman
Michael Irvin
Bill Walton
Jimmy the Greek

Bob Knight
Woody Hayes
Ty Cobb (and crooked)


Marv Albert

Anonymous said...

Herm Edwards. Beyond all the stupid contract BS and the clock management, this guy ran the ball into the line 3 times to set up a 48 yard field goal in pittsburg, he missed. Did it again, he missed. Jets lose. Last sunday in St louis has the ball on the 30 late in the game, and you can guess what happens next. Die in a fire Herm.

TLBR said...

Doug Mirabelli.

For consistently mocking a Boston radio reporter who suffers from muscular dystrophy.

Ron said...

JR/Isaiah Rider- how screwed up do you have to be to get kicked off the UNLV Runnin' Rebels for hanging with gamblers, ruining two NBA franchises (the Hawks still haven't recovered), and being arrested for kidnapping- while on probation?

The Iceman Cometh said...

Leonard Little, Leonard Little, Leonard Little.

He is the poster child for condom use.

The only solace i have is that he can't play football forever, and once he is out of the NFL, i'm sure he'll f up and finish his days rotting in a jail cell.

wondering-woman said...

Tonya Harding. Nuff said.

Vince said...

Art Fucking Modell.
The rat bastard cocksucker bought the team with other people's money, gouged the Indians while he operated Municipal Stadium and couldn't make any money while owning professional football teams in Cleveland or Baltimore.
He then sold the team for roughly 250 times more than it cost him to buy it.

Anonymous said...

Dave Bliss.

Anonymous said...

Scottie Pippen for being a selfish prick. He didn't want to take over the reins in Chicago after Jordan left.

Pete Rose: "Hall of Fame, nah, bitch betta have my money though..."

John McEnroe. He's just a badass, you know. With a tennis racket.

Tiger Woods. He might hate black folks more than Bush.

Yo, Chris Henry is definitely the modern day Michaelangelo and Houdini combined into one. Escaping hard-time is his game, "Committs Felony Again" should be his name.

Shannon Sharpe, just because he makes my ears hurt every Sunday.

Vince McMahon. The greatest excuse for a professonal wrestling mongul there ever was.

Isaih Thomas. The greatest excuse for a professional sports GM there ever was.

Bud Adams and Marge Schott. Owner dickheads.

Bluto, cause he ditched a pro career in the NFL to kidnap that skinny bitch Olive Oyl, thereby forcing Popeye the Sailor to eat all those disgusting cans of cheap Spinach. (*Which by the way, was likely the first steroid scandal accepted by the public media. Barry Bonds, obviously enough, was the second.)

Ron Artest. He created a mockery of himself in Detroit. At least Vernon Maxwell & Latrell Sprewell had last names that end in W-E-L-L. As in, F-A-R-E-W-E-L-L to your NBA career, chump. Don't release your CD yet Artest, join the peace corps instead.

Riddick Bowe. Actually, "Iron" Mike Tyson belongs on this list more, for his dopey antics and all his failed comeback attempts. But nothing, absolutely nothing, can top an overweight pro-boxer who can't hack it in Marine Corps boot camp.


#1 on the list: Jose Canseco, this fucker is the biggest snitch of all time. Turns out, he can't pitch for shit either.

BTW everyone else's suggestions were good too.

Peter O said...

Jack Tatum. Crippled Darryl Stingley in an exhibition game.

Fat Ted said...

This is a tough decision because at the same time you hate someone you are also giving them recognition.

As a Phillies fan I hate Joe Carter.

I like the Ty Cobb suggestion because he was a great bad ass.

How about Mike Tyson.

By the way, the name of this site is awesome.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

Carlton Dotson

(he's the Baylor b-ball player who allegedly killed his room mate). scary shit, really.

jester0165 said...

Carruth, Wooten, Mo Clarrett and I'll throw in MJ for emotially breaking Kwame Brown and gambling away his children's inheritance.

Anonymous said...

The entire Bidwell family. They are the worst ownership group of all time and they have ripped off yet another city with their garbage football.