Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Your Sports Legion of Doom Nominees

Well, we have our finalists! There is some genuine pure evil here, and then some that are just kind of stupid, but I want to give to our readership (hi mom!) the option to review every nominee. Therefore, I've included links to every single nominee written up, no matter how wrong-headed I personally think it is. Much as Democrats decide that the best way to fight pro-torture Legislation is to sit on their hands and hope for the best, I'm sitting on my hands, and hoping for the best. Obviously, I'm not literally sitting on my hands--what would I use to type? (best not to think about that question too long)

(for those of you wondering what the fuck we're on about here, please read our Mission Statement re: Legion of Doom, Sports Figures)

Without further introduction, I present to you our (and your) nominees for the Legion of Doom. Thanks again to the commenters--I think we may have completely forgotten about Rae Carruth, for example, without your help. Did we leave someone out? Let us know, and we'll try to include them before we do our final vote.

Legion of Doom Nominees (in order of nomination):

Jimmy "the Greek" Snyder
Ty Cobb
Uday Hussein
Mark Downs, Jr.
O.J. Simpson (What? He was found not guilty!)
Earle Connor
Humberto Munoz Castro
Manfred Ewald
Bad Sports Guys From Movies
Bowie Kuhn
Baylor/Dave Bliss/Carlton Dotson
Tonya Harding
Marge Schott
Lawrence Phillips
Ralph Engelstad
1986 Atlanta Hawks
Justin Griffith
Don King
THE Maurice Clarett
Rae Carruth & Michael Pittman
Update: The Veteran's Committee Heard JT's pleas, and have announced another nominee:
Bill Romanowski


Jerious Norwood said...

I think that the LOD should have a relegation system patterned after the Premiership. If a member performs a humanitarian act, or otherwise becomes less evil, he/she should risk losing their place among the other busts in the pernicious pantheon of sports iconography.

JT said...

Looking at this list, we have several categories of "doom", so perhaps we break them into divisions?

The killers deserve a special pantheon of shame, although people like Harding who aren't ballsy enough to kill but just wish to put an end to someone's career/livelihood should be put just a little bit higher.

How did Romanowski not make the final cut? Just curious... he ended a teammate's career, which is just ridiculous.

I'm sticking with Carruth at the top of the pile.

Big Blue Monkey said...

You know Romanowski probably deserves a look from the veteran committee.

Emo Cobb said...

James Laurinaitis, Ohio State linebacker - son of "Animal" from the Legion of Doom aka The Road Warriors.


Garwood B. Jones said...

I guess I can go along with Mr. Norwood's assessment if we can weed out the George Wallace and Bill Gates types. You know, the soul-crushing evil assholes who realize, after causing misery of untold proportions for exclusively their own benefit for the vast majority of their life, that maybe, just maybe, they have a slightly better opportunity of salvation (or at least a kinder obit) if they repent/give something back/engage in philanthropy. That level of soulless calculation deserves only a lower level of hell. Purgatory, a 13-inch black-and-white TV, and warm Natty Ice is an afterlife reserved for the navel-gazers, masturbators, and card cheats and I don't want my enernity spoiled by a bunch of johnny-come-lately humanitarians.

Badcock said...

Point of order! Big Blue, lay down the parliamentary procedure. Where/when/how do we vote?

I got dibs on the Diebold machine.

I want to remind everyone that Mark Downs Jr. paid an eight year old to bean an autistic player on his own team in the nuts.

It may be Little League, but think about the ripple effect here.