Thursday, September 06, 2007

Fightin' Scot Profile: Carson Gorecki

Mock his lack of a real first name and his cartoonishly Minnesotan good looks at your peril. Carson is coming off a All-MIAC and All-Region sophomore campaign and has started off his junior year in sick fashion--in 3 games, he has 3 goals and one assist. Macalester as a team has 4 goals, which, if you do the math, tells you that Carson has contributed directly to 100% of the team's goals thus far.

Macalester has yet to lose, though they did suffer through a couple of disappointing road draws in Iowa, against things called Central and Simpson. I'm guessing those are actual colleges.

But, as predicted, they took St. Scholastica to the woodshed, with young Mr. Gorecki scoring two goals in the 2nd half, icing those Duluthian bastards 2-nil. 2-nil!

Let's look at Carson's goals, shall we?

First Goal. Great work on the wing, some sketchy defending in the middle by the louts of St. Scholastica, and tenacious work from Gorecki gets the job done.

Here's 2-0. Nothing off Gorecki, or our favorite crazy little play-by-play guy, but St. Scholastica tried to mark both the thrower and the receiver of a throw-in with one guy, deep in their own zone. There should have been at least one more guy out there to defend the throw. Also, they forgot to mark fucking Carson Gorecki! He'll kill you if you don't mark him, you stupid Duluthian bitches!

Next up: Grace King. A year has passed, and we almost forgot why we had such a crush on her. And then we saw this photo, and we totally remembered. People, she's bad ass.


Muumuuman said...

I'm a soccer fan, and still those were the two gayest goal celebrations I've seen.

Big Blue Monkey said...

muumuuman, you accidently typed "gayest" when I'm sure you meant "greatest".

Keep in mind this team doesn't have the international flair of the mid-90's Mac team. No Highfield, No Bridges, No Heubergers, no English, New Zealanders or Germans to speak of. Clearly, relying on home grown talent to come up with good soccer celebrations or cheers is a horrible idea. I'm going to the game tomorrow night, and more than likely, I will see "the jigaloo."

Which I fucking hate.