Wednesday, September 12, 2007


Patriots Head Coach Bill Bellispellcheck was declared a cheater today by the NFL, after he was caught cheating during Sunday's "win" against the Jets.

The Patriots had received a warning last year from the NFL after Packers employees bum-rushed the chump who was making a bootleg. This time, there will be some repercussions. Commish Goodell has yet to mete out the punishment. A fine? Boring. Draft Picks? They won't feel the effect of that until next season. No, the punishment should be the unprecedented suspension of the head coach for four games.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not offended morally. Obviously teams do almost anything they can think of to gain any advantage. The stakes are very, very high. Bellispellcheck is a smart football coach but he pulled a big dumb boner: Coach Mangenius sprang the poisonous trap of humiliation on his old father-figure. His plan is half-finished.

Oedipus, party of two? Oedipus, party of two?

I think this is very, very amusing. I hope the histrionics keep up, because I have a friend who's a big Patriots fan and I can hit him with the Big Payback for years to come. You know who would never be besmirched by such low-class cheating? Three-time World Champion, family (contact) man and one heck of a fine gentleman, Joe Gibbs.


lbutler36 said...

Patriots should have to forfeit any game they were caught cheating plus draft picks. I think suspending the head coach is a littler overrated, especially if he is allowed at practices or contact with other coaches/players

Andrew Wice said...

Suspension would include no contact between Coach B. and the team. This would be hard to enforce, but very necessary. Coach B. should be locked in isolation (like the pane-of-glass thing in Superman 2) during his suspension.

Muumuuman said...

Now the Eagles are wondering about the Patriots, as they seemed to call a screen pass everytime they blitzed in the Superbowl. So... maybe Philly Super-scapegoat McNabb isn't to blame....