Sunday, September 02, 2007

Another Asshole Named Andy

Brian Bonsall drank the guilty hemlock of two years probation for assaulting his girlfriend. Who? The Bengals' long-snapper? No.

Y'all remember cutie Andy Keaton, brought in as Family Ties ratings fell to replace the "cute factor" absent with Tina Yothers turning into a bleached whale, a white-flag seen in many other family sitcoms such as Diff'rent Strokes as well as that other one? "Andy Keaton" went from being born to being a precocious and adorable six-year-old after one season.

These days, he's a lot more ... on probation. The twenty-five year old Bonsall's original defense was that he acted in self-defense, after she cut his arm and face with a steak knife. Tests proved the knife wounds on his face to be merely speed burns. Probation is obviously contingent on drug-testing, though Bonsall has reportedly been through rehab and has five sober months behind him. Plus, he has one year of the Missouri Military Academy under his belt. Seriously.

Bonsall has "hooked up" with his chick again, so I guess it's cool. What's the worst thing that could happen?

Bonsall, whose acting career has slowed down a bit, now has a punk band called Thruster. Seriously. This is Thruster playing another sold-out show ... in a parking lot ... at eleven AM.

I entirely leave it up to you judge their music here.

He currently works construction to meth ends meet. I mean, make ends meet.

And whatever happened to Tina Yothers? Oh, you know, things ... she toured with Menudo in '89. She had a "book" featuring a grammatical error (singular possessive) in its title ... then she got fat and lost 42 pounds on reality TV and was still fat afterwards.

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