Monday, April 30, 2007

Mock Drafts Shall Be Graded & Mocked (A reply)

As if this were worthy of response...

1) Oakland takes QB JeMarcus Russell: only JA pulled a boner here. For better or worse, Russell is definitely an Al Davis pick. Remember Jim Plunkett?

You're so right, Jim Plunkett (the NE Patriots top choice who is known for becoming the two time Super Bowl champion quarterback with overachieving moxie after years of physical abuse at the helm of pathetic franchise) is a great comparison to the golden boy, stud prospect who is a consensus all world talent. Its also true that this is a Davis pick, as evinced by the fact that 20+ other GMs passed on Quinn, the once in a life-time talent, and that Al Davis almost never takes a QB in the first round.

2) Detroit takes WR Calvin Johnson: Hahaha. I wrote: "I think everyone is stupid. If you've watched Detroit draft, you know they're committed to drafting WRs. It would be hilarious if they added WR Johnson to their stable. Detroit has a herd of thoroughbreds but don't know how to open the barn door." I was right. It is hilarous. It was the fourth time in five years the Lions chose a wideout very high in the draft. Only one, Roy Williams, has succeeded in Detroit ... if leading them to a 2-14 record is a success. Then again, in Detroit it probably is.

Detroit has a stable of thoroughbreds? Oh I see, their ACTUAL roster doesn't matter. If they meant to have the talent equivalent of Moss, Owens, and Harrison on their squad, then it must be true. Never mind the fact that two of the three "thoroughbreds" that they have picked are no longer on the team anymore. It IS hilarious. Its hilarious that their past draft have been god awful. The fact that they drafted the top talent in the draft (according to LITERALLY everyone who professionally evaluates college talent for the NFL)isn't actually all that humorous. Badcock, do you even know what football is?

Cleveland takes OT Joe Thomas: Wisconsin moment: Thomas was fishing and did not attend the draft. Everyone expected QB Quinn to go to Cleveland. He did go, nineteen picks later. JN didn't predict Quinn, instead blasting away shotgun-style and missing completely. Getting Thomas here and Quinn later is evidence that, as JN argued, perhaps Browns GM Savage isn't so bad.

Ooops, I failed to accurately predict the order of the draft completely. Oh I forget, I was saying who they should pick (Peterson) not only repeating the rumors of who they eventually would.

Arizona takes OT Levi Brown: They may have preferred OT Thomas, but taking an OL this high is a sign that they may actually be making intelligent decisions. Perhaps Dennis Green really is turning that organization around ... oh wait, he's already been shit-canned.

Wow, great strategy. Praise them for going sensibly with the workman-like pick. Can't be wrong. You go badcock, all you have to do now is get really outraged next time the NFL doesn't allow Jake Plummer to wear the beret of fallen military hero before the game, and you've graduated the Sean Salisbury school of sports journalism. ESPN can't be far off. Pussy.

Washington takes S LaRon Landry: All the experts predicted the Redskins should have taken a D-Lineman. I agree that they should have taken the best D-Lineman available (Okoye). Still, Gibbs went for the excitement of a great young safety tandem and the strength of Landry's character who comes from an incredible football family.

Wow, a great family? I guess they'll send Shaun Taylor a card in prison. Too bad neither of them will catch an interception. Pussy.

Minnesota takes RB Peterson: RD & JD were correct in predicting that the Vikes wouldn't pass on such a great talent, despite questions about his injurious past. They take the lead at 2 for 7. One thing for Vikes fans to worry about is that once you break a clavicle, you're gonna keep on breaking it.

badcock, must I remind you that just because you're a Jew doesn't mean than you are automatically a doctor or a lawyer (I'm guessing that you violated the mother/father clause of Judaism and are going around pretending that just because your father is Jewish that makes you part of the club. Wrong. Read the rules. {Just for the record, I have no idea})

Jerious Norwood of IDYFT only predicted the first seven picks, but did toss in a prediction for the Packers who were at least smart enough to not trade for Moss. Norwood's pick was not even close to the actual pick of DT Justin Harrell.

And you're right, my mock draft wasn't accurate, I guess that makes it a good thing that you didn't even try. Even I have to admit that your right about that. For all the kids out there, don't try. It'll only bring you heartache and pain. And that's even if you don't know a prick like badcock.

1 comment:

Badcock said...

Wow, somebody's wearing their grumpy-pants today. I'm surprised you can pull them on over your fully-loaded adult diapers.