Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Hey, Don't forget my nerdy Mock Draft

I'd hate for this exciting Sports related event to pass me by without having weighed in with my prognostications based on countless hours spent analyzing game tape.

So without further delay...

With the first pick of the 2007 IDYFT Mock Draft the

1) Oakland Raiders should select...

Jamarcus Russell. Yes he's got a strong arm and he's huge, but he also happens to be cool under pressure, a true team leader, and far more accurate than Brady 'if I wasn't a white dude from Notre Dame this wouldn't even be a conversation' Quinn.

Of Course they could select Calvin Johnson, who by all accounts will be a badass. Then again he's always played completely under the radar without any expectation to speak of, and one of his great attributes is that he doesn't have Terrell Owen's attitude. You mean the attitude that had him dominate the Super Bowl with a broken ankle only to lose when Donovan McNabb couldn't deal with his upset tummy? That attitude? As a Raider fan, though I can't complain with either choice, I can't shake the feeling that Russell is going to be absurdly good for a long, long time. Plus, he doesn't have the hands of a little girl. I'm looking at you Culpepper. (You watch, they're going to take Quinn. God damn it. And you know what?, I'll love it!)

2) At this position the Detroit Lions should select Calvin Johnson or Adrian Peterson. Along with Russell, these are the elite players in this draft class. These two guys are probably the surest fire bets to dominate in the NFL for years to come, and will be franchise altering forces for whatever team is smart enough to take them.

That said, the Lions could (and probably will) either trade out of this spot in order to take relative mediocrity out of the media spotlight, or select Gaines Adams. This will reaffirm Matt Millen's standing as the single most obtuse fool in the NFL. He was forced to relinquish this title to Art Shell for one glorious season of ineptitude, but happy days are here again in Motown.

3) Next on the clock are the Cleveland Browns. I actually don't think that Phil Savage is a bad GM. This means that he'll pounce on any one of the three guys mentioned above if available. Assuming that the Lions are, well the Lions, and the Browns must choose between Peterson and Johnson, I think they'd probably go for the RB. However this isn't going to happen because when Detroit trade down, it will be with Tampa Bay, who will then select the Ga Tech WR. Adrian Peterson will be a hall of famer (assuming he stays healthy)

4) As I previously mentioned, I think TB will trade up to get Calvin Johnson with the #2 overall selection. I haven't seen much of him personally, but apparently he's Randy Moss with Marvin Harrison's demeanor. I don't know how the fact that he's a pussy that doesn't seem like he wants to have sex with our white women affects his receiving skills... but everyone else thinks it does, so I'll go with the flow.

5) The Arizona Cardinals will be boring and select the player they should select anyway. Namely, the can't miss Wisconsin product Joe Thomas. I mean a 6'7'' whitey with sweet feet from a Big Ten school can't possibly fail, right? (This bile has nothing to do with Robert Gallery in any way. It doesn't.)

6) The Skins have apparently fallen in love with Calvin Johnson and Jamarcus Russell during the draft evaluation process. They should probably package their number one and their other first day picks and trade up.... Oh wait. they used all of those picks on Rocky Colavitto to serve as their backup weakside linebacker, and TJ Duckett to serve as a free agent backup on the Lions. Well, at least their fans suck dick. Just kidding fellas. Anywho, they'll probably take Gaines Adams, and he'll probably eventually turn into a pro-bowl performer at some point.

7) Ah, here come the Vikings. It kind of sucks to be in this position. You've already committed yourself to Travis Johnson as the long term answer at QB (congrats on that by the way), so you can't take Brady Quinn. This will make it extra fun when he beats you in the playoffs at some point. So I guess you'll probably take a solid 'bald guy' choice like the Mississippi product, LB Patrick Willis. Boy, you'll really be able to set your watch by that kind of player, and besides its doubtful that he'll make a flamboyant show of the hookers that he purchases. The best choice would be LaRon Landry out of LSU. A great cover saftey is like having a little black dress in your wardrobe. A must.

I think that covers all the teams of interest to the vast readership of this site... except

the Pack at pick #16.

Conventional wisdom has them taking either Marshawn Lynch out of Cal or the speedy TE from Miami, Greg Olsen. Lynch would be a great choice, but I'm going to project a trade in this spot. The GBP will ship the sixteenth choice in the 2007 draft to the Oaktown Raiders in exchange for the rights to Wide Receiver Randy Moss. The Raiders will then use the pick to select Ted Ginn out of THE Ohio State University. I can't say I approve of this pick, as I don't think Ginn is better than any number of other Wideouts in this draft, but hey I just report the facts


lbutler36 said...

No way in hell the packers trade their first round pick for Moss. The Packers don't even really want him, and need help at RB or TE or S more than WR.

Badcock said...

I agree with lbutler36. In fact, unsurprisingly, most of Monsieur Norwoods "opinions" are demonstratably stupid.

I reckon he believes in drafting the best player available (which is always subjective) rather than drafting for need (which is less subjective).

But do a little roster research, boner. The Lions should definitely not take a skill position. Savage of the Browns is obviously a bad GM: look at the "team" he's assembled.

The Redskins are in love with Calvin Johnson & Jemarcus Russell? I don't think so. They are all filled up with talented WRs and a young, athletic QB (is that a euphemism for black?) for years to come.

Jerious Norwood said...

Thanks for your dorky constructive criticism. Your right, though drafting for 'need' is still completely subjective, its less subjective than drafting the best available player. By the way, just because the Lions have used high picks on skill position players in the past, doesn't mean their not in dire need for help in those areas now. When a 35 year old Jon Kitna and Mike Hairy are key players in your offense, it might make sense to select a transcendent talent with the first pick. Though I suppose thats just subjective.

Also, this something like Savage's second year with the Browns. After having assembled a great roster in Baltimore over the years and then having what initially seems to be a good draft last year, there's nothing to suggest he's not a good GM.

Finally, the draft is on Saturday so we won't have to wait very long to see if my proposed trade is so outlandish. And it'll be particularly funny when the Skins trade all of next years pick to trade up to select Russell.

Badcock said...

Do the Lions really have a player named "Mike Hairy?"

That is so sad.