Monday, April 30, 2007

Mock Drafts Shall Be Graded & Mocked

Mock drafts are forgotten the moment the real draft begins. But, lest we allow these "experts" to repeat themselves, let's examine the quality of their predictions as analyzed in this here column.

Once again, our esteemed panel consists of Robert Davis of Football's Future, NFL Network Analysts Charles Davis and Jamie Dukes at, James Alder of and Jerious Norwood of IDYFT.

1) Oakland takes QB JeMarcus Russell: only JA pulled a boner here. For better or worse, Russell is definitely an Al Davis pick. Remember Jim Plunkett?

2) Detroit takes WR Calvin Johnson: Hahaha. I wrote: "I think everyone is stupid. If you've watched Detroit draft, you know they're committed to drafting WRs. It would be hilarious if they added WR Johnson to their stable. Detroit has a herd of thoroughbreds but don't know how to open the barn door." I was right. It is hilarous. It was the fourth time in five years the Lions chose a wideout very high in the draft. Only one, Roy Williams, has succeeded in Detroit ... if leading them to a 2-14 record is a success. Then again, in Detroit it probably is.

Cleveland takes OT Joe Thomas: Wisconsin moment: Thomas was fishing and did not attend the draft. Everyone expected QB Quinn to go to Cleveland. He did go, nineteen picks later. JN didn't predict Quinn, instead blasting away shotgun-style and missing completely. Getting Thomas here and Quinn later is evidence that, as JN argued, perhaps Browns GM Savage isn't so bad.

Tampa Bay takes DE Gaines Adams: Only JA predicted this, pulling even with the rest of the experts at 1 for 4.

Arizona takes OT Levi Brown: They may have preferred OT Thomas, but taking an OL this high is a sign that they may actually be making intelligent decisions. Perhaps Dennis Green really is turning that organization around ... oh wait, he's already been shit-canned.

Washington takes S LaRon Landry: All the experts predicted the Redskins should have taken a D-Lineman. I agree that they should have taken the best D-Lineman available (Okoye). Still, Gibbs went for the excitement of a great young safety tandem and the strength of Landry's character who comes from an incredible football family.

Minnesota takes RB Peterson: RD & JD were correct in predicting that the Vikes wouldn't pass on such a great talent, despite questions about his injurious past. They take the lead at 2 for 7. One thing for Vikes fans to worry about is that once you break a clavicle, you're gonna keep on breaking it.

Baltimore takes DE Jamaal Anderson: JD was correct and is alone in the lead at 3 for 8. I didn't think that the Ravens could pass on a guy with that name. I hope they wear the same size. The RB is 5'll 237; the DE is 6'6 279: perhaps not. It's a shame that the Ravens tossed aside Jamal, their all-time leading rusher in all categories. It would have made a sweet buddy picture ... the original odd couple!

Miami takes WR Ted Ginn, Jr.: Our experts flubbed this one and Miami fans booed this selection, opining for Brady Quinn. This fully demonstrates how stupid and reactionary Dophins fans are. Embarrassing. If Ginn, Jr. hadn't been injured by his teammates piling on him after he returned the opening kickoff of the Natty Title game, he would have had an MVP performance. In Miami, Gold-Plated Quinn would be busted in South Beach at BonerPalace snorting lines of coke off of ... well, you know.

Houston takes DT Amobi Okeye: A good pick of an impressive young player, but the shitbucket OL is the most rusty. Our experts hershey-squirted this pick too. Why so shocked? The defense-minded Texans took Mario Williams over Bush or Young, remember?

Jerious Norwood of IDYFT only predicted the first seven picks, but did toss in a prediction for the Packers who were at least smart enough to not trade for Moss. Norwood's pick was not even close to the actual pick of DT Justin Harrell.

So how expert were these mock drafters?

Robert Davis of Football's Future was 2 for 10. That's 20% accuracy. Another way to say that is: 80% wrong.

Big Jamie Dukes of was 3 for 10. That's only 70% wrong, and we have a wiener!

Jerious Norwood of IDYFT was 1 for 7. That's 86% wrong.

Charles Davis of was 1 for 10. That's 90% wrong. We have a boner!

James Alder of was 1 for 10. That's also 90% wrong We have a boner!

And what about Mel Kiper, Jr.? His mock draft was so super-secret, you had to peel off some Benjamins just to get a peek. How do you the suppose the "Draft Guru" fared? Sorry, his mock draft is still so earth-shattering that you have to pay ESPN to see it ... even though the real draft is already over. Guess what? We have a boner!


Top Dawg said...

I really don't know how Mel Kiper's opinions ever came to matter in the first place. If he knew so much, he'd be getting the big bucks as a GM somewhere in the NFL

Jerious Norwood said...

yeah man, totally. I bet Kiper is like... poor, and stuff. yeah, his opinions suck. whatever, what does he know?... dawg?