Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Badcock Seeds The NFC

How will the NFC division winners likely be seeded? Luckily, Badcock neither has to work today nor has he anything better to do than reply to messages from hot teen girls on myspace. So ... let's begin.

Last year's Steelers were the first World Champions that were not divisional winners. It's a safe bet that the Champ of Superbowl XLI will be a divisional champ. With Badcock as your experienced and provocative guide, we will explore the sensual yet tender realm of predicting the NFC brackets. Understand, I'm not talking about the best team, but rather how they'll finish the regular season and be seeded for the playoffs.

#1 Chicago Bears: The 10-2 Bears face the Rams, Bucs, Lions and Green Bay for their last four games. These "football teams" have all given up, boasting a .291 winning percentage and a combined ten game losing streak. To reiterate, the only teams with winning records the Bears have beaten are the Seahawks (without MVP Alexander) and the Jets. They are in the top 10 for most penalties.

The only way the Bears will drop one of these games is if they sew up homefield and rest their starters. They will need a healthy defensive backfield for the playoffs. Charles "Peanut" Tillman can't do it all himself.

How about that defense? Best in the League, without question. Fewest points allowed, most takeaways (by ten).
How about special teams? Top 10 punt cover, Top 5 kick cover, #1 Punt Return. Field Goals? 26.27 = best in the league.
Say, what's the smell? Oh, it's the offense. The best one can say about the Bears offense is that the running game is mediocore. The Bears are opting to stick with Grossman, pointing to their 10-2 mark. But the team won despite Grossman's best efforts (21 turnovers and counting). Griese won't be much better, but consider these statistics before you put money on the Bears vs. a good team: Grossman's 4th Quarter passer rating is 36.5, worst in the league. If the game is within 7 points in the 4th Quarter, Rex "Grace Under Pressure" Grossman's rating drops to 25.7. By way of comparison, if a QB throws incomplete on every down, he will enjoy a 33.3 rating.

#2 Dallas Doughboys: The 8-4 Cowboys face the Saints, Falcons, Eagles, Lions, with a win percentage of .458. At home for three of the contests, where the Cowboys have only lost to the then-unstoppable Giants in the final long, dark days of Bledsoe. Dallas has the most penalty yards in the league.

How about that defense? 4th most takeaways. Top 5 rush defense. Good pass D has allowed 11 TDs, made 14 INTs.
How about that offense? 2nd best in the league with 27.7 ppg. Top 5 rushing, top 5 passing with passer rating leader Romo the 'Omo. Tied for least fumbles with Atlanta, incredible considering they are #8 & #1 in attempts, respectively. Will someone rattle Romo? His poise will determine a #2 or #3 seed.
How about special teams? Best coverage units, unimpressive return units. Lowest FG % in the NFL could haunt them.

#3 Seattle Seahawks: the 8-4 Seahawks face the Cardinals, 49ers, Chargers, Bucs, a .438 win percentage that drops to .305 after the Chargers. The Seahawks are very tough to read, but are in a good position to possibly snare the #2 seed.

How about that offense? Deprived of last year's top passer (QB Hasselbeck) and MVP Alexander (don't look now, but LaDanian is going to bust your record), they still made it to the top of the clotted mass that is the NFC West. How well these two players perform will determine the fate of the reigning NFC Champions. Currently tied for fewest rushing TDs. Last year they were tied for 2nd fewest giveaways. Now they have the 7th most.
What happened to that defense? Strictly mediocore after being #7 in scoring D last year. Too much time on the field -- Seahawks are bottom 10 in time of possession.
Special Teams: very good coverage, average returns and FG.

#4 New Orleans Saints: The 8-4 Saints face the Cowboys, Redskins, Giants and Carolina. That's three playoff contenders -- a difficult path for the Cinderella Team of the Year, versus teams with a .500 win percentage. Playing a playoff home game will be unlikely this year, but the Saints have arguably fared better on the road versus good opponents.

How about that offense? Brees is having an incredible year after offseason surgery. 2nd in the NFC in scoring, nearly 26 ppg. They have multiple explosive threats in the passing game, and Deuce Mac is dropping heavy lumber under the radar of Bush & the passing game.
How about special teams? FG % = tied for 2nd best in the NFL. Coverge & returns are strictly average.
How about defense? 5 yards per rush tied for 2nd worst in league, but they mostly keep RBs out of the end zone. Top three vs. pass yards, but have given up 21 TDs through the air, 2nd worst in the league. 3rd fewest takeaways in the NFL. I smell trouble.

Well I had no idea that would take so much time & effort. The AFC is the better conference, as we'll likely see.

The Saints at Dallas game has been moved to Sunday night, 8 pm EST.


Barnyard said...

Remember that commercial from early in the season that suggested Grossman and Bernard Berrian were Pro Bowl bound? Woops. I remember thinking Grossman looked fat in that ad.

I think Doughboys are NFC Champs this year and IDYFT enjoys fifteen minutes of fame for being the first blog with clips from the Tony Romo/Jessica Simpson sex tape.

Badcock said...

Don't mention the sex tape until Superbowl weekend.

I still have to erase my ass & chin out of that tape.

Thank god for CGI.