Saturday, October 07, 2006

Terrell Owens Apparently Learned How to Share at Some Point

Terrell Owens has written a kid's book! Really!

It's called "Little T Learns to Share", and is all about how Little T learned to share when he realized that if he kept his football to himself, and didn't let other kids use it, he wouldn't actually get to play football. It's got a co-writer, Courtney Walker, who is identified in the article as a television writer, though I can't find anything concrete on him/her**. Maybe they are a TV writer like George Constanza was on "Seinfeld".

By the way, you gotta love the line from the article that reads, "late September Owens was admitted to a Dallas hospital suffering from an overdose of pain killers, quickly spun by the press into a suicide attempt..."

I hate to quibble with Publisher's Weekly, but any "spinning" done was by the police when they reported that Owens told them that he had attempted suicide. Damn, those police, always spinning things to make it more sensationalist. If only police tried to cover up stuff better! (actually, I suspect that that particular line may have come from the official press release issued by Owens' camp.)

But the other fun nugget here is that it is apparently a 5 book series (called T.O's Timeout)

Future titles include:

"Little T Learns How To Burn Bridges"
"Little T Learns How To Out His Teammates"
"Little T Learns How To Write About His Life in Yet Another Format"
"Little T Learns to Keep His Pills in a Drawer, Thus Making an Empty Bottle of Medication Not a Suicide Attempt"

**Though, whilst Googling I did find a fascinating TV review of two pilots of shows that went nowhere back in the day (1990, to be exact). One starring Brad Pitt as a high school football star just out of school, and one with Jennifer Aniston in a small role, playing Mayim Balik's half-sister in what reads like a first draft attempt of Blossom. (Yes, apparently, Blossom was an improvement on an earlier, more half-assed idea. Scary). I highly recommend reading the scathing reviews, that serve to explain why we didn't hear from these two actors sooner.


Zach Landres-Schnur said...

"Little T learns how to bang his publicist."

Michael said...

Other T.O. titles:

"Little T respects his Coach's athority"
"Little T counts all his money"

They pretty much write themselves.