Wednesday, October 18, 2006

At Long Last, the Official Sports Legion of Doom #13-11

Methodology: After lots of nominees from IDYFT members and commenters alike, the folks who actually write for this site each voted. Each blogger was given 5 weighted votes--we believe in Instant Run Off Voting here at I Dislike Your Favorite Team. First place vote was worth 3 points, 2nd and 3rd vote were each accorded 2 points, and 4th and 5th place votes were given 1 point each. Therefore, each member of IDYFT had 9 points. Points were added up, and the top 13 were determined.

Then the nerdiest of the Nerdlingers of this site were assigned the task of assigning classic Legion of Doom characters to the Sports Legion of Doom. And here you are!

It's exciting, isn't it? In compiling this, we owe much info and pictures to this site, and in particular the writing of Felix Menendez and editing of Michael C. Rupprecht. (Extra bonus to that site--every time you open it up, it gives you the old Superfriends sound effect. Fucking awesome!)

Total Points in Parantheses

#13--Tonya Harding (2)--

Tonya and Cheetah have much in common. Tonya's nemesis was a supposedly unbeatable brunette would look good in golden underwear. So was Cheetah's. Both Tonya and Cheetah had no special skills except "no reservations about fighting dirty." That said, if given my wish to see one of them naked holding Gillilooly juice, well, let's just say my wish didn't come true.

#12--Marge Schott (2)--
Marge Schott often expressed herself in ways that would could best be described as animal guttural tones who made her coin off the sweat of minorities. Giganta, as it turns out, is an evolved silverback Gorilla who stole her ability to grow to large height from Apache Chief. So you see, both gained entrance to the Legion of Doom because they stole from minorities. Both were primates, though debate rages around as to whether they were "human" as we understand it. I'm sure any number of Reds would have happily taken Giganta's touch over Marge's.

#11--Rae Carruth & Michael Pittman (2)--
The Scarecrow
Both Rae and Michael excelled in intimidating the ones closest to them, perhaps in part because they were considered pussies by those they worked with. Just like the Scarecrow! Say what you will about OJ Simpson, but he at least had the guts to run up on his ex-wife and lover and slash their throats with a fucking knife (allegedly). Carruth hired a hitman, and hid in a trunk to make his getaway. Pittman used his Hummer to drive repeatedly into his wife's much smaller car (holding his son and their nanny). Murder (and attempted murder)is wrong, in all its forms, of course, of course. But when one uses their own fear to justify cowardly ways of killing, well, that's a special level of assholeness.

The Countdown Continues Here!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If the Gleeck don't fit,
you must acquit.

Bizarro Big Blue.