Thursday, October 05, 2006

Gilbert Arenas, You are Too Competitive

From ABC News:

WASHINGTON, Oct. 3, 2006 — Take a deep breath, and get ready for the latest in Gilbertology: Washington Wizards point guard Gilbert Arenas is thinning the air in his house.

"I had my house converted to the Colorado altitude, so I am always above sea level," Arenas said Monday at the Wizards annual pre-training camp media day. ...

"I had to put a tent in one room, and then they are going to come during training camp and fix the whole house," Arenas said. "Then I have a have a portable tent I'm taking on the road."

Other things Arenas should consider doing:

1. Artificially increase the gravity of his house, to two or three times that of Earth's normal gravity.
2. To strengthen his non-shooting hand, he could tie his shooting hand behind his back during the off-season.
3. Never hydrate during practices.
4. Waterboard himself frequently, to learn to appreciate non-drowning moments in life more.
5. Fuckin' relax.


Zach Landres-Schnur said...

6. take about 30 painkillers.
7. buy a hooker
8. buy 2 hookers

Muumuuman said...

9. Start smoking during training, that will reduce your oxygen intake.
10. Buy 3 hookers.

Garwood B. Jones said...

Gilbert is his own man. He doesn't need to ape Terrell Owens' training regime.