Monday, October 09, 2006

NFL Finally Protects the QB

The NFL is mandating uniform changes for QBs, to highlight their fair nature and protected status.

Pleased but not satisfied with the results of NFL rule changes to protect the quarterback, a decision was made today in NFL Headquarters (located 100 yards deep within Coors Mountain) which could change football forever. Because of the soaring contracts of franchise "Face-man" quarterbacks, owners have stepped up efforts to safeguard their investment.

Starting in 2007, NFL quarterbacks will play wearing flags, and will play with all applicable flag football rules. While regular football rules apply for everyone else, the QB may not be touched in any way. To balance things, QBs will not be allowed to use the spin move, as this makes it very hard for the defense to grab the flag and get the QB "down."


Jerious Norwood said...

That's highly improbable.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

flag??? i thought it was two-hand touch.

Anonymous said...

I imagine Mark Brunell will benefit most from this rule change.

Badcock said...

You know who would be sweet at flag football?

Barry Sanders.

Big Blue Monkey said...

Phil, as much as I dislike your slaggin' of the Washington Noble Savages, I do enjoy you taking on the role of being badcock's antagonist. He desperately needs one. smack him around a bit.
Not too much. He's liable to like it if things get a little too rough and tumble.

Anonymous said...

I might be able to do more of it. If he wrote more.

Badcock said...

You want me to write more?

The M. Jordan Bulls should have won more NBA titles.

The Bears of the mid 80's should have won more Superbowls.

The Blackhawks should have won about twice as many Stanley Cups.

But they didn't. Why? Because Chicago sports fans are too lazy, fat and stupid to support their teams. Put down your cell phones and pie, Windy City, or you'll miss your highly overrated Bears getting the #1 seed for the NFL playoffs and shitting the bed in their first game.

I guarantee it.

Anonymous said...


The Jordan led Bulls team was 6 for 7 in the years 1991 thru 1998 when Jordan played in the play-offs. They shoulda won more? Noone reading this believes that.

The Bears of the mid-'80's shoulda won more SB's. I agree. In fact, during games on Sunday they show some montage highlight thing that has a quick clip of #28 Darrel Green hurtling, I think, Cap Boso for a game winning punt return in Soldier Field in the '87 play-offs. That loss crushed my 12 year-old heart. I'll see you raped by Dexter Manley for it. Believe me, he needs the money.

Blackhawk hockey means nothing to me. Worst Owner in sports.

"Chicago sports fans are too lazy, fat and stupid to support their teams." If anything we are too lazy, fat and stupid to not support our teams. Have you seen a Cubs game lately. Granted we don't get the A-listers like TomKat. That must have been so exciting for you.

Keep makin' guarantees Sporto. One of them is bound to come true if you live long enough.