Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Clint Dempsey Says, "Don't Tread"

This has probably been discussed in the blogosphere at length, but I haven't come across it much, and in any case, it deserves to be mentioned again. In my post earlier, I mentioned Clint Dempsey and his rapping, but I have decided that it deserves its own post.

For those who don't know, Clint Dempsey is a possible member of the starting 11 for the US Soccer team. He is also a rapper. Now, don't get me wrong. I love soccer; I love hip-hop (particularly these days, MF Doom! He's freaky!). It is the combination of the two that I find unsettling/hilarious. I like beer, and I like barbeque. But I've tried barbeque flavored beer (seriously, I have) and it was not at all pleasant. This is like that. What goes together with presumably well-known-in-Houston rapper XO? How about footage of a guy kicking a soccer ball? Does it somewhat strain one's incredulity when the cliched rap video posse is trying to look hard on a soccer pitch? Are there a lot of soccer fields located where people grew up on the streets and had to practice looking hard?

If Clint Dempsey, aka Deuce, is rollin' in a car with crazy doors that open straight up instead of out, does that mean he's super badass? Because if he is, he needs to start playing like Cantona. Let's see that badassness out there on the field. Kick a fan, or something.

It's such a silly, silly idea. I have a hard time accepting that Nike bankrolled it. Nike is usually so good at telling what is going to be cool in the upcoming year, maybe they just got cocky. Bunch of dudes in suits smoking cigars that are really just tightly rolled wads of cash, kicking their feet up on their desk, saying smugly, "Yep, this will be a challenge, but we can make this seem cool."

No, no you can't. Tarantino couldn't make this look cool. (Unless he had made into Japanese anime. that would be cool. kind of).

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