Saturday, May 13, 2006

BCQ: NFC East

Dallas Cowboys: Rough way to start. We've got the old cop, in Drew Bledsoe. He's certainly "too old for this shit." You've got the aging nutjob in T. Owens. He's too old to be all crazy and shit, and yet, he's still putting his gun in his mouth, and his cock near Rene Russo. But who's the new up and coming co-star? Is it Julius Jones (Chris Rock)? Is it Marian Barbour III (Jet Li)? The Cowboys have Lethal Weapon 4 stank all over them. Oh, old guy who shows up and yells and collects money for it? Jerry jones/Joe Pesci. perfect fit. Lethal Weapon 4 is no sequel to base a franchise on.

Still, such an explosive cast deserves watching. 6 stars.

NY Giants : Young buck quarterback, old timer running back. Tiki is also too old for this shit. Tiki=Danny Glover. Eli Manning equals Mel Gibson's character, if it were played by Scott Caan. Dumb meat head, possibly smarter than we think he is. No real chemistry here.

Boring. Predictable. 3 stars.

Philly Eagles: Donovan McNabb: too old for this bullshit. His backfield partner? Who knows who that is. The Eagles are like the Rough Draft of "Lethal Weapon 1". Ugly stuff. Dress rehearsals.

Too many roles to be cast. I don't think this picture ever gets made. though if it does, look for a cameo from Dietrich Jells! 0 Angry stars.

Washington Skins : Let's see. Mark Brunell is on the verge of retirement. He's looking to pad his pension a little before he goes out. He's a little too old for this shit. And his backfield partner is Clinton Portis who excels at disguise, being crazy, and getting the job done. This is Pure Lethal Weapon One.

If the NFC East made Buddy Cop movies, clearly one starring Mark Brunell and Clinton Portis is the movie to see. 10 stars.

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