Saturday, February 03, 2007

Me no gusto El Hombre

I don't like The Man.

Today, I answered the phone and it was the New Mexico Narcotics Task Force asking me (by name) for money. I said I had no money and that I was busy and The Man on the phone shouted, "Sir, you're too busy to help win the War on Drugs?"

Fuck yeah. I was just about to smoke this bowl of weed.

Tonight, at the conclusion of my bartending shift, The Man walked in: an officer of the Alcohol Compliance Board or what-have-you. The band was loading out, the liquor was locked up in full compliance. But I had a drunk customer (walking home) and that is enough to put me in jail in the state of New Mexico. Part of their new "Our Eductation System is Incompetent but We'll Make Unpublished Novelists Making $6.50 an Hour Be Responsible For Every Last Possible Litigant" law package.

Anyway, the sports-related point is, after the shakedown he asked if we were open on (Superbowl) Sunday. And I pointed out our new swivel-mounted bigums TV. And then we shot the shit awhile ... me and The Man (manifested in a stern, serious guy named Garcia in his late 40s with false teeth), we shot the shit just a little bit.

Sports. It's more than just an absurd payday for steroidic monsters & pituitary freaks. It's a way of keeping people on the same page, as arbitrary as the text of that page might be.

In New Mexico, as related earlier, we have no professional team. Most casaul fans fall in with the Broncos or Cowboys (ugk, I think I'm choking on my vomit), with the random loser Raiders fan in the mix. But UNM product Brian Urlacher is enough to make the Chicago Bears our home team (according to the TV). And so both The Man and I agreed that it would be best if the Bears won the Superbowl.

Well, I'm going to smoke some of my neighbor's homegrown high-grade marijuana out of the beautiful blown-glass bowl my other neighbor made for me. New Mexico Narcotics Task Force? The Alcohol Enforcement Man? The United States of America?

"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong." -- Voltaire

BADCOCK PREDICTS: Colts by 10, with their defense producing more than 10 points.

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