I Dislike Your Favorite Team

Hold the presses! ESPN has a journalistic bombshell. Evidently Mets farmhand Lastings Milledge, aka L Millz (the 'Z' makes him street, yo) used racist and sexist terms on his single 'Bend Ya Knees' and the Mets disapproved. Racist terms? Hmmm... Nip? Potato Eater? Kike? Kraut? Wait, wait, wait... Help me out here. I've scoured the entire article and I can't quite put it together.

The Stamford Advocate dug a little deeper to shed some light on the matter:

The Mets already had released a terse statement denouncing Milledge's use of the N-word referring to African Americans as well as sexist terms for women, saying that they "disapprove of the content, language and message of this recording."

Oh... the N-Word. Gotcha.

Still, no light on the sexist terms though. Fortunately our friends at the NY Post offered some clues:

Of course, the female to whom L Millz... is singing is not actually being referred to as a woman, instead by the usual gutter descriptions stereotypical in rap. One of those words that got Don Imus fired.

You cheeky journalists, it took a little work on my part but now that you've appealed to my disgust of rap and used a carefully coded description, I get it. That's some good writing! And all without resorting to using an offensive word for women or degrading women in any way. WTG NY Post!

I'm all for the not-at-all-fascist crackdown in professional sports that allows me to enjoy games without any of the thuggish (read: black) elements offending my delicate sensibilities. In fact, it's time to give thanks to everyone in the media and the league offices who makes it possible for me (middle class white male fan) to feel safe and secure in the color-blind world of professional sports. To everyone who is protecting me from all of this rap crap and filth-flarn-filth, let me say: mighty white of you. Keep up the great work!