Saturday, May 19, 2007

Randy Moss is the New Steve Beurlein

Certain philistines who contribute to this site are still insisting that the Packers should have traded for Moss. Uncanny, considering said philistine is a fan of the team he admits Moss "gave up on." Moss playing on a talented Patriots team with Superbowl aspirations and a no-nonsense Coach who preaches a team-first attitude ... it could work. Some moustache-jockey coach for a small market team in the Upper Midwest in charge of a shitbag team with nothing going for it ... the formula for disaster is no more complicated than if a = b and b= c, then a = c.

You don't have to take my word for it. Dave Gladow of makes these obvious points here. But just a couple lines deserve direct quotation.

"Favre's idea that Randy Moss could be the savior of the franchise is flawed at best. Anyone who has watched tape of Moss the past two years will tell you that the enigmatic receiver will not try when things start to go poorly ... or when he doesn't get the ball ... or when the team runs the ball ... or when he gets a hangnail ... or ... well, you get the point.

But what would happen if Green Bay lost a couple of games early in the year? Or Favre missed Moss wide open on a fly route? Or any other number of scenarios that would be sure to bring Moss' [sic, retard] sulkiness to the forefront?"

The often-mentioned "Quitter" aspect of Moss's character can be easily quantified by his TD production the last three years: 13, 8, 3. Awesome. Definitely the preeminent [sic] player in the league.

It isn't that the Packers don't need talent at the skill positions. Gladow points out that the Packers GM has been very, very flaccid: "Favre is correct in criticizing the front office for failing to adequately address an offense in serious need of an upgrade. Ahman Green, the team's top tailback, was allowed to leave in free agency. The team "addressed" that concern by drafting Brandon Jackson in the second round. Donald Driver is the team's top receiving threat, and he's neither big, nor especially fast, nor especially young. Tight end Bubba Franks had an awful year. The team "addressed" those concerns by drafting San Jose State wide receiver James Jones in the third round ... And those are just the skill positions! The offensive line has been gutted through free agency the past several years as well."

The Packers need talent and Randy Moss needs someone to gently warm up his cervix and convince him to play. Moss & the Packers would be a terrible match. Moss is a small risk for the Pats, who have a good team. The Packers do not have a good team, and the likelihood of Moss imploding them like anti-matter was very high.

Gladow writes: "My advice to the Packers? Do something to address a crumbling offense before it reaches Raider-levels of ineptitude.

Because after all, when your quarterback is pining for a lazy receiver from the worst offense in the league (the aforementioned Raiders), it doesn't say much about the talent on hand, now does it?"

I don't understand why a philistine would be medium-pimping an unmotivated player who pooped on his own team. But then again, I don't understand the appeal of McDonalds. And clearly I'm in the (non-obese) minority here.

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