I Dislike Your Favorite Team

I've been taken to task here a little for posting on the subject of golf, but fuck it. I'm old, white, and for the rest of my life I'm going to play more golf that I am any of the other sports we talk about (with the possible exception of this). According to blandcock, that grants me some sort of right to express my opinion, so here goes...

For years the golf commentariat have lamented the lack of a rival for Tiger Woods and pleaded for someone to step up his game. They've essentially called the rest of the tour pretenders and argued that no one is mentally strong enough to challenge Woods. Sure, Woods has been beaten. Philthy, Geoff Ogilve, Ernie Els, Retief Goosen, Jim Furyk, and even Vijay have bested Woods when he's been in contention. Unheralded God-lover and Iowegan Zach Johnson came from behind Woods to win the Master's this year. Still, there hasn't been a single person who has filled the role. The ubiquitous comment? Jack had Arnold; who does Tiger have?

To summarize: Golf misses the Jack/Arnie rivalry. Tiger dominates. Other players choke when Tiger leads going into the final round of a tournament. There is no rivalry. There is Tiger, and everyone else. Etcetera, etcetera, ad nauseum.

Yesterday Rory Sabbatini, who was paired with Woods last Sunday in the final round of the Wachovia, is 12th on the money list, tied Woods for second at the Masters (shooting a final round 69 to Woods' 72) and currently is leading the TPC shooting an opening round 67 to Woods' 75, said the following:

"The funny thing is, after watching him play on Sunday, I think he's more beatable than ever. I think there's a few fortuitous occasions out there that really changed the round for him. And realizing that gives me even more confidence to go in and play with him on Sunday again.

A lot of people have commented in the past when people play with Tiger, they stand and watch the show and not participate. I'm not someone to participate to watch the show. I'm there to participate to win. I want to be paired with Tiger in the last group on Sunday here this week. ... I want Tiger. Everyone wants Tiger. I want him to pick it up and we'll be there late on Sunday." (quote taken from espn.com)

The headline on espn.com's golf page? "Loose Lips." In the course of two articles and the clip I saw on Sportcenter this morning I must have heard the word "inflammatory" a dozen times.

Is there any other sport where suggesting that you have a chance to beat someone is inflammatory? Imagine if Muhammed Ali had said that he was pretty certain that Sonny Liston was beatable. Bullshit. What Sabbatini said was not inflammatory. Nor was it inflammatory when Mickelson said that Woods was playing with inferior equipment. I want something seriously inflammatory.

Last week Jose Mourinho called Chistiano Ronaldo's upbringing into question. That's a great start, golf needs more of that. I want Sergio Garcia to call Woods a "big, ugly black bear" (well, maybe that's a bit over the top but certainly Camillo Villegas or Adam Scott could suggest that Woods is "too ugly to be the world champion"). I want someone (other than Chris Rock) to make fun of him for calling himself Cablasian. Jesper Parnevik should constanly be talking about how he used to tap Woods' wife when she was his nanny. Maybe Luke Donald, at a critical point during a round, could ask him why on earth he thinks the short-sleeved mock turtleneck with his headlights on display is a reasonable fashion choice. Someone should at least suggest that now that he has more money than God he could endorse a better car than the Buick Lucerne. Hell, if I was paired with Tiger, I'd only ever call him Buick Lucerne.

Woods' mystique is real. He is mentally tough, he's the best putter on tour, and he scrambles and grinds better than anyone. Barring injury, he'll break all the records. If he were to never swing the club again, he might still be regarded as the best player of all time. But he can be beaten. And the more players say it, maybe some of them will start to believe it. Tiger might not have his Arnie, but there's far more talent in the game now than there was even 10 years ago. It's king of the hill and Tiger is on top. C'mon. It's time for more players to come out swinging. Seriously, what do you have to lose?