Thursday, May 17, 2007

Curt Schilling: Nerd! (and lying about it)


Curtis Montague Schilling isn't just a pitcher with a bloody sock, or an asshole with a loud mouth. He's also a computer gamer, and a developer of same. According to a Yahoo interview, Schilling, back in September 2006, founded 38 Studios. If you are like me, you are thinking, "Wait, Curt Schilling's middle name is Montague?"

Get past that, man. He also started up a game company, and it isn't called "Bloody Sock Industries" or "I'm Better Than Everyone Else Studios".

The fact that this company is in existence was enough for Yahoo Games/Sports, to interview him. That's what we call SynerDgy (tm). That's trademarked! That's ours, dammit! Schilling is working with D&D writer RA Salvatore, and Todd MacFarlane, who made Spider-Man all webby and stuff, created Spawn, tried to rip off Nerd Hero Neil Gaiman, and completely overpaid for McGuire's record breaking homerun ball. (none of that mentioned in the article)
What do we "learn"?

1. According to the interview, Schilling has played Nerd Computer games his entire life, starting with the Apple II's Wizardry.

We gotta call bullshit, especially as Schilling claims to be dating himself by admitting to playing Wizardry I. Wizardry I came out in 1981, when I was 7 years old. I played it. I played it with a kid named Rusty in Avon, CT. I remember it vividly being a huge step up from my Atari 2600. And I am 8 years younger than Schilling. Hey, "Monty", you can't have been playing video games your entire life starting with a game that came out when you were 15. That's bullshit, man! Bullshit!

2. Schilling never plays video game baseball. We are very suspicious of that, too.

3. Curt enjoys the anonymity of MMO's (that's Massive Multiplayer Online games, to you non-dorks).

4. Curt later makes a point about nerd-culture that I can't disagree with him on:

We're getting to a point in time, although people don't want to admit it, that a nerd is the exact opposite of what it used to be. To me, if you can't get on a computer, surf the net or send an e-mail, you're a nerd. That's where the world's going. My 11 year-old son, the things he can do on a computer are staggering. And that's hip and cool at school now. If you were on a computer when I was in high school, you were a nerd.

You hear that, ladies? We nerds are awesomely super cool. Some nerd who happens to throw a baseball fast says so. You can trust him. He never lies.




4 comments:

Garwood B. Jones said...

He probably just meant that Wizardry was the first 'nerdy' game that he played but that he had been rocking Loderunner and Castle Wolfenstein on the Apple IIe and Hamburgertime and Pitfall on Colecovision for his entire life.

Big Blue Monkey said...

Loderunner! bless you sir. Bless you.

Though let's not forget Jumpman.

Muumuuman said...

Zork anyone? AND that Atari game where you were the square looking for keys and dragons chased you - sometimes a mean superfast red dragon? And if you were centered just perfectly in his mouth he couldn't eat you? The red dragon guarded the chalace which had to returned to the gold castle. And some stupid bat was always flying off with your things.... ADVENTURE! Whew I got it.

Jess said...

A couple of weeks ago, this dork sitting next to me on the bus was yapping at his friend about his job or something (I was listening to my iPod but unfortunately could still hear Douchey McGee) and was going on and on about working with 38 Studios or something.

He would NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT. "Yeah, it's Curt Schilling's company. You know, Curt Schilling, he's a pitcher for the Red Sox." Yes, we all know who he is. Would you stop name dropping now please, because if you don't I'll slap that stupid, ugly chin beard right the fuck off your face.