Saturday, November 22, 2008

Reminder: "Hugging the Panda" is a Bad Thing

We, long ago, read about some drunken Chinese feller who wandered into a Panda enclosure to "hug the panda".  We posted it--Don't Fuck with Giu-Giu, we Said.  We came up with a slick little neologistic phrase, "Hugging the Panda"--to be used in situations in which someone does something (often drunkenly) that they think is a good idea, that is demonstrably, from the get-go, a bad idea.

We had a new term; we had publicized the Immediate Danger that is the Panda.  More importantly, we got to use our new term to make fun of people who fucked up.

But apparently, people have not learned.  Through our network of tipsters (OK, two people emailed me the story, and one of them doesn't even know I write for a blog) that we have another Chinese person getting into an enclosure with a panda.  Again, they were trying to "hug" the panda.

This fucker jumped a fence over 6 feet tall to get to "Yang Yang".  Do Not Fuck With Yang Yang in Yang Yang's house!  Yes, pandas are cute.  Often hilariously so.  But they are bears, and thus Godless Killing Machines.  And they bite.  Don't Hug the Panda.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
ThreatDown - Bats


Andrew Wice said...

I volunteered at the National Zoo in DC for many years (true story).

And one time, I hugged a National-Treasure yet strangely hermaphroditic panda (not quite true). But it almost had a baby!

Long live ... what?

Andrew Wice said...

And Pandas are not actually bears. They are more closely related to raccoons.

Big Blue Monkey 2: The Quickening said...

If you had clicked the link, you would see that the Colbert Nation has rejected that fact.