Thursday, April 09, 2009

Dancing Queen

I used to think that DE Jason Taylor was the ABBA of the NFL, but now I know he's much more suck.

You may vaguely recall that the active sack leader (for now) was brought in by the Redskins to replace a DE lost on the first day of training camp. I was guardedly optimistic. And not at all surprised when he was the 29th Pro Bowl free agent BUST in the Schneider's awesome reign o'er me.

Taylor suffered a mysterious injury yet nevertheless "earned" over $8 million and "contributed" 3.5 sacks ($2,228,000 per sack!). Fine.

Against all logic, the Redskins wanted to honor the 2 year contract. All they asked of this professional football player, before giving him eight and a half million dollars, is if he would pretty please show up to 75% of the offseason workouts. That's 24 workouts, if you're keeping score at home. Taylor walked away. Fine.

Taylor explained that he just really wanted to be with his family so much that he couldn't miss 24 days with them. Even though the previous offseason he spent 4 straight months in Los Angeles shooting "Dancing Queen Live" or whatever the fuck. Fine.

Taylor is now being courted by the Dolphins, the team that will still be compensated for him with draft picks until 2010. He really wants to go back to Miami and he would accept, well not the minimum, but you know ... less than $8.5 million. Fine.

And then I read this:

I'll always be a Dolphin. There was no bigger fan last year than me. I'm leaving the field from Redskins games and running to see what the Dolphins are doing and checking my phone throughout the day. Those guys on that team will tell you: I was in contact the whole time.

Not fine.

Hey Jason Taylor! Go fuck yourself with some tap shoes. And die.

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