Thursday, December 27, 2007

Oh, Sporting Orange, You Didn't Listen!

The ASU-Texas clash was almost exactly what you'd expect from two very flawed teams playing in a pretty meaningless Bowl Game. Lots of offense, aided and hampered by some really weird/odd/stupid plays.

But the one that caught most people's eyes was probably this one (from the AP):

With the Longhorns leading 21-0 and the Sun Devils (10-3) driving early in the second quarter, ASU's Rudy Carpenter was sacked by linebacker Roddrick Muckelroy and the ball went squirting toward the Longhorns' sideline.

[Texas Coach Mack Brown's stepson, Chris] Jessie stepped about a yard onto the field and was motioning toward a player when he reached down and appeared to touch the ball with his left thumb. Texas defensive tackle Roy Miller slapped the ball away from the sideline and defensive end Aaron Lewis recovered and returned it to about the ASU 44.

After review, officials reversed the call, ruling that Jessie touched the ball, which is an unsportsmanlike act. Texas was penalized half the distance to the goal, giving the Sun Devils fourth-and-3 at the 7. Carpenter then threw a touchdown pass to Chris McGaha...

"I didn't touch it, I didn't touch it," Jessie said. "The focus shouldn't be on me. That was a great game."

Chris Jessie clearly stated that the focus shouldn't be on him. But one of our blogger brethern have decided that, yes, in fact, it should be on the jackass stepson/paid member of the Texas staff. The Sporting Orange has Chris Jessie's MySpace profile available. Until Jessie takes it down (thank goodness for him it isn't as impossible to remove as a Facebook profile). You should go to Sporting Orange just to see how a stepson of a coachs poses on MySpace. Did you guess flexing, while pointing to his arm tattoo of (possibly) Japanese characters? Did you think that too obvious? Oh, friend, you don't know nepotism, Texas-style.

21 comments:

Andrew Wice said...

Clarification: the symbol on dude's arm is not Japanese or any Asian character. Possibly Arabic, but that seems like a strange choice.

But it's pretty boss, whatever it is.

Jerious Norwood said...

Nice use of the word 'boss'.

By the way, my New Year's resolution is to find out who the fuck the special guest 'Ted' is.

Lucy Rhode said...

Rumor has it that all of you are the personalities of one or two men.

Jerious Norwood said...

While it does seem that the various clichéd 'personalities' represented by each of the 'contributers' might sum up to one inadequate whole, I am sorry to say that this is not the case.

Jerious Norwood said...

Besides, if you had the luxury of manifesting any number of different personality archetypes, why in god's name would you choose to have these lame ones.

Andrew Wice said...

When I want to indulge my bitter, under-informed, reactionary, homophobic, unsanitary, sperm-breathed, meth-fueled, fatuous, obese, lazy, coprophilic and pretentious personality, I write under the moniker "jerious norwood."

Hint: your turn.

Andrew Wice said...

"Ted" is Big BM's "Ted Bundy" personality.

Jerious Norwood said...

I wish you were still in the cities so that BBM could sexually humiliate you on a regular basis again. I seem to recall that we were subjected to fewer of your tiresome bloviations then. Hey, and maybe Monkey wouldn't need to kill so many prostitutes in a futile effort to fill the black chasm that is his soul.

Jerious Norwood said...

By the way, I take issue with being characterized in any way as homophobic. Also I'm never under-informed, though it is possible that I might be misinformed on rare occasions. I've only ever tasted a very small amount of my own sperm to see what its like, and I've only tried methamphetamine once. Hardly enough to describe my screeds as 'meth-fueled'. Finally, my perversions have never taken a particularly scatological bent, and while I think I could stand to lose a few pounds (after the holidays who can't claim the same?), I don't think anyone would fairly characterize me as particularly overweight, let alone obese. These remarks are just hurtful, and I don't mind telling you that you've lost some esteem in my eyes.

Jerious Norwood said...

Bitch.

Andrew Wice said...

Fine. I will apologize for my comments.

Just as soon as you apologize for your part in the assassination of Bhutto.

You asshole, peace was just around the corner!

Andrew Wice said...

Oh and by the way, while you may not be afraid of or prejudiced against homosexuals, good luck proving that in a court of law.

Exhibit A: How many dollars did you spend in Club Metro playing Guns 'n' Roses anthemic "One in a Million."

Big Blue Monkey said...

Jeez. I turn around for a couple of hours, and the blog falls into this shit.

I mean, really, Norwood, do we really have to rehash the whole "I murder prostitutes in an attempt to fill the black chasm that is my soul."

For the last time, I do it because they have lying doll eyes, and because the man on the TV told me to.

God!

Jerious Norwood said...

Bhutto had to go because she was merely a pawn of U.S. foreign policy, and was simply attempting to legitimate Musharef's regime by lending an illusory air of credibility to the upcoming 'show' elections.

Secondly, BBM. I've never said that you don't have your reasons, just that I enjoyed watching you debase Wice and not merely a series of anonymous sex workers who happened to be unlucky enough to cross your path. When will these ladies of the night realize that the 'johns' that ask you to dress up as their mothers are probably bad news?

Oh, and the gays at the Metro appreciated the irony... something that you are apparently unable to do.

Andrew Wice said...

Wow, "irony" used correctly.

I don't know what to say.

Muumuuman said...

I'm just happy there are rumors about us - we must be famous!

Lucy Rhode said...

Of course you are famous. You boys are like the George Clooney and Brad Pitt of the blogging world.

(Oh dear. Being likened to his man crush may have made BBM feel a little funny in his pants.)

Big Blue Monkey said...

MuuMuuMan, when lucy said "rumors" I think she meant her own suspicions. I haven't heard talk of it on the street or anything.

Do you really think the mere mention of Clooney makes me feel funny in my pants?

Correct. He's handsome. And articulate and neat and clean.

Jess said...

I really wish I would have known about this hooker-killing shit before Big Blue Monkey knew where I live.

Jerious Norwood said...

Wa-wa. I wish a violent sociopath hadn't set his sites on me. Everyone pay attention to me.

Some of us have football to watch today. Besides, it might not be the best idea to annoy him. Though its your issue I suppose.

Jess said...

Hey, I have football to watch today, too.