Saturday, December 22, 2007

The Holy Biumiverate of I-35 E and W

I highlight this mainly to say how stupid the media is these days. A bunch of idiots based in (where else?) Texas decide that a line in the Old Testament that reads "And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness. The unclean will not journey on it; it will be for those who walk in that Way; wicked fools will not go about on it." is referring to my local highway, I-35, which has the bad luck to run all the way down south to Texas, where these idiots live.

There are not many of them, thank the Good Lord Cuchulain. Even CNN admits that they were following about 25 people as they went around praying for I-35.

25 people egregiously misinterpret Biblical sources, and it is national news? How stupid are these people? They decided that the line must be referring to I-35 because it the line is from 35th Chapter of Isaiah.

There's context, and then there is CONTEXT. The verse above is Isaiah 35:8. Isaiah 35:7 says, "The burning sand will become a pool, the thirsty ground bubbling springs. In the haunts where jackals once lay, grass and reeds and papyrus will grow." So, the previous verse makes it clear that there are jackals and papyrus in the land of this highway. You know what I just did there? I named two species that don't exist along the I-35 corridor (or in the North American continent at all).

So these people are stupid, and cherry-picking one verse to make up some reason to practice public homophobia (they focus their prayers at "immoral" businesses along I-35, like LGBT or pro-choice organizations).

Even just a touch of Biblical scholarship tells you that Isaiah was written during a time in which the Israel kingdom was split between Israel and Judah, and under constant threat by bigger empires all around. It would seem clear, with just a modicum of context, that the verse above was written in hope of predicting those two kingdoms uniting to fight the external threat. But somehow, a handful of idiots in America have decided that something written almost 3000 years ago was about the strip club off I-35 in Kansas. And CNN treats it as news.

Wondering what is making something called Mike Huckabee a factor in the run for the most Important Job in the World? These idiots! Who as of this writing, have been hacked!

In short: fuck you, stupid idiot literalist Christians, who are misinterpreting a book that doesn't even really belong to you and fuck you, CNN for making it news. 25 people! I can get together 25 people to protest anything under the sun in 24 hours--that don't make it news!

Will CNN follow me and my 24 followers when we pray for the soul of the Snorks, or something equally stupid as what they followed today? Probably not.

Back soon to our usual sports snark commentary. But Great Good Universal Lord in the Heavens Above, covering idiot extremists as if they are not crazy pisses me off.


Jerious Norwood said...

Why do you hate Jesus?

Lucy Rhode said...

Is it hate that you sense Norwood? I think Blue would react the same way if Mighty Mouse Freaks made national news and influenced political discourse. And I don't think he hates Mighty Mouse. Do you Blue?

Andrew Wice said...

Randomly selected bible slapping?

From Ephesians 3:20 : "Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, for ever and ever. Amen."

This proves that the so-called "Mighty Mouse" is, in fact, a force of holy righteousness and glorifies JC to all generations. For how else could his remarkable actions be described other than as that which is "far more than all we can ask for or imagine."

Faking bible truths is really hard to do, Big BM.

Jerious Norwood said...

I always tend to sense hate, so maybe its a bit misplaced. However, I do know that BBM has forsaken our lord and savior for quite some time now.

Oh and Wice, unless you're chiming in to apologize for killing the king of kings, maybe you should bow out of this conversation. Haven't you people done enough?

Big Blue Monkey said...

I dislike Jesus for the same reason I dislike Norwood--the ability to grow a beautiful, manly beard.

It all comes down to jealousy.

If there were a public policy based on the ouevre of Mighty Mouse, I very well might support it.

Muumuuman said...

Norwood (and others), you don't see with your eye, you perceive with the mind. If your mind is full of bible verses you can perceive just about anything.

"You've ever read this thing? Technically were not allowed to go to the bathroom..."

Rev. Lovejoy

Big Blue Monkey said...

We are allowed to throw rocks at women, though. So, that's something.

Andrew Wice said...

Oh, we're allowed to throw our rocks at women.

I misunderstood, and all this time I've been throwing my ... well, you know.